Uncertain Future
by AngelicOne77
Summary: 2 years after Edward and the Cullens left. Bella is ready to embrace her future. Are the Cullens still meant to be a part of that future and if so which ones? Non-canon pairings, M for future content
1. Chapter 1

All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them for my own amusement.

A/N I have noted in this summary that this will be non-canon pairings although i'm at this time hesitant to say what those pairings will be. I know what direction I want things to go but i'm fickle and tend to change my mind. It will however become apparent in a few chapters.

Loud music startled me out of what was probably the best sleep I'd had in years. I fumbled to turn off the noisy contraption on my bedside table that was my alarm clock.

Today was the day…….

Today I would finally put my past where it belonged, behind me and start towards my future.

It had been almost two years since he'd left me, since they'd left me and I'd descended into such unimaginable grief and depression that it had been nearly impossible for me to claw my way out from under the load of it. A part of me had vanished along with Edward and the rest of the Cullens. It wasn't so much figuring out how to get that part back that allowed me to work my way out of the depression that had plagued me during the disaster that was my Senior year of high school, rather it was the acceptance of that part of me being gone and overcoming the anger that finally allowed me to start to heal. I still had issues and many days when I missed "them" with a vengeance but I had made definite progress in letting go of what was, and what could have been.

Today was going to be the biggest step in that process………..I was leaving Forks, and with it many of the reminders of another time. Leaving was bittersweet though, as it also meant leaving Charlie and Jacob, my anchor and my sun. They were proud of me though and could not begrudge me this. I Bella Swan, was going to college. I had taken a year off after graduation, I hadn't quite been ready to embrace the future. I had however applied to many colleges to appease Charlie and shockingly had been accepted to all of them. I'd had my pick of where I wanted to go and had finally decided on Tulane University in New Orleans. Charlie was disappointed that I'd chosen a school so far from Forks but I think he understood my need to start over somewhere that wasn't Forks. I was determined to look to the future and have all those experiences Edward had wanted me to have, to lead a "normal" life.

I almost laughed out loud at that thought……."normal", well as normal a life one can have when you know the monsters of myth and legend are not only real, but have helped to form the basis of who I am today. I was almost certain that I was the only human who's first love was a vampire and best friend a werewolf.

"Bells? You up?" Charlie's voice outside my bedroom door broke through my musing.

Poor Charlie, trying so hard to act like he was ok with this move. Of course he was proud I was going to college and definitely relieved that I'd rejoined "the land of the living." If only he knew how true that statement was in the most literal sense. But… he was a typical father and worried about his daughter being on her own while at the same time thinking we hadn't had enough time together yet. If I'd learned anything since moving to Forks though, there was no such thing as enough time with those you loved.

" I'm awake Dad, you can come in……" my voice trailed off as my door opened and Charlie's head peaked around the door.

"So you ready for today? Any chance you've changed your mind and decided to go to UW?" Charlie looked almost hopeful

"Dad……" my voice trailed off

"I know, I know. You're an adult." Charlie made the universal quote signs when saying adult. "You'll always be my little girl Bella and it's harder than I thought to let go."

Charlie was not prone to showing emotion so I was more than a little surprised at his confession.

"So any plans for your last day in Forks?" As quick as that Charlie went back to being, well, Charlie.

" I have a few more goodbyes I need to take care of today……you know how it goes" I wanted to end this conversation before it got started as there was one goodbye I didn't want Charlie to know about.

" K', well make sure you have it all tied up by 3 so we have plenty of time to get you to Seattle to catch your flight, unless you want me to run the sirens and lights on the cruiser all the way there?" Charlie winked knowing how I detested being the center of attention and how the very thought of that scenario would mortify me.

"Very funny" I rolled my eyes "I'll be back in plenty of time"

I could hear Charlie chuckling as he closed my door and left me again to my thoughts.

I'd been partially truthful with Charlie…..I really only had one more goodbye I needed to take care of today and it was one he'd most definitely not approve of. I needed to say goodbye to Edward, and his family. Obviously this wasn't something I could do face to face as I had no clue where they were, and had no contact to even hint at where they might be. No……I'd have to go to the one place where my memories of them were the most vivid, the old Victorian mansion than had been the Cullen's home in Forks. I knew this wasn't going to be a picnic and would probably dredge up a lot of pain that I'd succeeded in putting behind me for the most part. I needed this though, I needed to let them go so that I could fully embrace the future and close the door on that chapter of my life.

"Now or never Bella" I sighed aloud, giving myself a silent pep talk as I got ready to face the day. Before long I was ready and jogging down the stairs, grabbing my sweater and keys and was out the door, on my way to face my past one more time.

It was easier to find the almost hidden driveway that lead to the Cullen house than I thought it would be after so long. As I drove up the winding driveway the butterflies in my stomach kicked it up a notch, or ten. It's only a house, it's only a house, it's only a house. It became a mantra as I slowed my old red chevy to a crawl before parking in front of the abandoned house. All the warmth this house used to exude was gone, something else that left with them.

This house had always been such a symbol of their family and togetherness to me, now it just looked sad and empty. I could relate. It was now just a house, nothing special or extraordinary.

The creaking of my truck door opening echoed in tree enclosed space as I climbed out of my truck. I looked towards the large front door, memories assaulting me. Alice flying down the stairs to all but drag me out of Edward's Volvo in her excitement to play Bella Barbie. Edward opening my door for me the first time he brought me here to meet his strange family that I fell in love with almost immediately. I was starting to doubt the sanity of my plan, wondering if this was going to hinder more than help me.

"You can do this Bella, you need to do this!" again with the pep talk. Those motivational speakers on TV had nothing on me today.

I finally decided to make my way closer to the house when I heard the crunch of gravel, my fear spiking. Who would be driving up the driveway to the Cullen house. Well other than me?

I stood frozen as the sound of the unknown vehicle got closer. My brown eyes wide, my muscles tense.

I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until I let out a large sigh when I saw it was fed ex truck. Relief quickly turned to confusion.

"Fed ex?" I wondered aloud. Must be lost I'd determined.

The truck parked and the drive got out holding a white envelope. "Bella Swan?" he inquired as he read the package in his hand.

" Ummm yeah?" I answered "I'm Bella?"

"I have a delivery for you?" the driver stated the obvious

"Delivery for me?" my voice laced in confusion.

"If you're Bella, then yes" the driver was starting to look impatient. "Sign here please" he held out a clipboard for me to sign.

I scribbled my name and exchanged the little wooden board for the envelope in the drivers hand.

"Uh t-thanks." I stuttered.

The driver nodded, muttering have a good day as he climbed back in his truck and turned around to go back the way he'd come.

I held the envelope in my hands, seeing my name in small elegant writing but not quite believing what I was seeing….it was Alice's handwriting.

"But how….." I couldn't wrap my head around it.

"Of course." I whispered to the empty space. I knew she'd had to have seen me come here in a vision. Did that mean she'd seen more? That she'd known the hell I'd lived through? I didn't know whether to feel angry at the possibility that Alice had seen what I'd become and did nothing to stop or excited that I was finally going to have some sort of contact with my much longed for best friend. The anger was there but the excitement won out as I sat on the front steps and turned the envelope in my hands. If the butterflies had been bad during my drive up the long driveway they were nothing compared to the party going on inside my stomach right now.

I slowly opened the envelope and took out the sheet of paper inside…….

_**Bella,**_

_**You are probably wondering how I arranged this. Then again you were always so perceptive and have most likely already figured out that I had a vision of your visiting our Forks house. **_

_**Before I continue I need to tell you that not a day has gone by since leaving you and Forks that I haven't thought of you and missed you. Other than my family you were my first friend. I know there are no words that can make our leaving right so I will not even attempt to justify our actions. **_

_**I know you have come here today for some closure, and to put my family in your past. Please Bella do not yet write us off. I can't tell you more than that but eventually it will become obvious to you that there was a reason for everything that has happened and it's all been to lead you to something. Oh my dear sister I can just picture the exasperation on your face as you read this. You never did like the cryptic nature of my visions. Not to say I blame you as it tends to wear on me at times and they're my visions. I understand your need to say goodbye before you embark on this new chapter in your life and I will not begrudge you that even though I know deep down that your path is forever merged with ours. **_

_**So much has changed since we left you. Our kind does not often change but your presence in our lives altered our family in ways you cannot know. Someday you will understand it. For now though Bella I hope this brings you some semblance of comfort to know that although we left, we did not abandon you and you are as loved now as you were then. No matter what our futures hold, that will never change. **_

_**I have enclosed a gift of sorts. You do not have to accept it but please know it is yours to use if you choose. **_

_**With all my love - your Sister,**_

_**Alice.**_

The tears were rolling down my face as I finished reading Alice's letter. The crack in my heart that had begun to heal ached with how much I missed my uber hyper vampire friend……my best friend…..my sister.

"Oh Alice" I sobbed aloud. "How much I have needed you."

My emotions were all over the place. Joy that she had not forgotten me, sorrow at how much I missed my dear friend, anger at the cryptic bullshit she had felt compelled to include in her letter.

"Dammit Alice I was here to let you all go and you go and tell me that we are still meant to have our lives intertwined, so much for closure!" I shouted. Ok so anger won that round.

I felt a weight inside the envelope I'd removed the letter from…..Alice's gift. I emptied the contents of the envelope into my hand and was a little more than shocked to see a key.

"No she wouldn't have." I voiced my doubt aloud

Only one way to find out I decided standing up and with great hesitation walking to the front door of this house that held so many memories. I slid the key into the lock on the front door, wondering why I was surprised when I heard the lock click. My hand shaking I turned the door knob and opened the door. With a deep breath I took a step into my past.


	2. Chapter 2

**All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, again I'm just borrowing them to feed my own addiction**

**A/N - The first few chapters do not hint much of the story to come but are necessary in defining the person Bella will be as the story progresses. **

**Thank you for the reviews, they go a long way in motivating me to keep going. This being my first shot at this and all. **

**I stepped into the entry way, calming my errant nerves as I walked further into the house. Sunlight from the large windows illuminating the large room that I'd spent countless hours in. The memories surged back with a vengeance as I took in the room that looked so much the same as it had two years ago, with the exception of the furniture being covered in dust cloths and many of the personal items that made this house a home missing. **

**I could clearly picture Emmett sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees, game controller in hand, yelling animatedly at whatever game he was playing while Rosalie looked on with a bored expression on her face. I wasn't surprised that I missed Emmett, he had fully embraced me as his human little sister. It was the tinge of longing to see Rosalie that floored me. **

**A small snort escaped at the realisation " Ha, I'm finally losing it" **

**I fingered the chess pieces, set up on the board collecting dust. I recalled how the family had told me of their dislike of taking on Edward or Alice in this game of strategy because they "cheated". The psychic and the mind reader, their abilities making them nearly impossible to beat. I recalled however a game of almost epic proportion between Edward and Jasper. The memory brought a smile to my face. This wasn't a chess match that had lasted mere hours, but days. Both had used their abilities to their advantage, until as per the norm the chess board had ended up flipped and flying through the room. **

**Thinking of Jasper sparked my last memory of this room, my 18th birthday. That night was essentially the catalyst for the family's leaving but I didn't blame Jasper and had forgiven him before I'd even left this house for the last time that night. How could I blame him for giving in to what was essentially his nature. Besides, something I'd come to terms with was that even if that night hadn't happened Edward would have still left at some point. He'd always been obsessed with my humanity and frankly being immersed in a world where you are the natural food source was going to lend some threats to said humanity. It was just a matter of sooner rather than later. Poor Jasper though, having to shoulder the blame for this event. Over the last couple of years I'd come to realize that the entire family had to shoulder some of the blame for Jasper's lack of control. They hadn't placed a lot of faith in his control and well when your entire family keeps expecting you to screw up and try to eat the human well it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. It was because of this that I'd never gotten the chance to know Jasper very well, something I deeply regretted. **

**I looked towards the stairs, unsure if the fragile hold I had of my emotions would be shattered if I were to venture up those stairs and to Edward's own personal space, his room. **

"**Suck it up Bella, you wanted a goodbye. It's not like you're going to have this opportunity again" I chastised myself**

**Tentatively I slowly made my way up the stairs, my hand gliding along the smooth railing. I felt like a condemned man walking to his execution. **

"**Get a grip, you've faced blood thirsty vampires and lived to tell about it, some of your closest friends are shape shifting wolves, it's just a room!" my pep talks were starting to take on an air of exasperation at myself. **

**I couldn't help but think, it's his room though. The one thing in this house that was completely him. The memories awaiting me there were not entwined with the rest of the Cullen family. They were of my time spent alone with Edward. **

**Just a room, Just a room, Just a room I chanted internally to myself as I opened the door. **

**I almost had to laugh at the first thought that jumped to the forefront of my mind……."Its so clean."**

**Gone were the scattering of books and journals littering many of the surfaces. The furniture was the same but everything was in it's place. What shocked me most was that everything was in it's place, it looked as though he'd taken almost nothing with him. His books were lined up on the shelves, all his collections of music still organized in that OCD way of his. I stepped into the room and was immediately aware of how much this space still smelled like him. I thought this would bring me to my knees, such a physical reminder of him. I took in a deep breath, enjoying the scent more than dreading it. **

"**hmm that boy always did smell heavenly." I smiled, recalling how he'd told me it was all part of the façade. **

**I ran my fingers along the spines of the books on his shelves and the cases of his cd's as I walked around this space that was so essentially Edward. I felt almost peaceful, being amongst his things. I'd spent two years hanging tight to my memories of all things related to him, at my lowest points using them to assure myself that he had existed, that there had been a time that he had loved me, even if he didn't anymore. **

**Then there it was, the one thing that had the potential to shatter the tenuous hold I'd had on my grief since stepping into this house and this part of my past I needed to let go of. Sitting solitary on one of Edwards many shelves was a picture frame. I knew what picture I'd find enclosed in the elegant wooden frame. My teeth chewed on my lower lip, my breathing becoming more shallow as I contemplated whether I could handle all that would come with looking upon the photo in that frame. I reminded myself yet again that this was what I'd come here for, well technically more than what I'd come here for but thanks to Alice for seeing that I needed this. **

**I carefully took the frame down off of the shelf, closing my eyes and taking a calming breath as I prepared myself to look upon the Cullens for the first time in two years. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at what I'd been longing to see for so long, their faces. **

**It was a photo taken in the clearing where the family so often played baseball. Immediately I felt the sting of tears as I sunk to my knees. Sobs broke loose from my chest as I stared at the stunningly beautiful faces of the Cullen family. Carlisle and Esme, kindness exuding from them even in the photo, then Emmett larger than life with the mischievous look he always had on his face, his arm around Rosalie, her extreme beauty jumping out at you . Next was Jasper, his blonde curls falling over his forehead, a serious look on his handsome face. The next part of the paper image brought my sobs to a fever pitch, my breath coming out in gasps as I rocked myself back and forth on the floor of Edwards room hanging on to the framed photo for dear life. Alice……her dark hair jutting out in every direction, her arms wrapped around me as she kissed my cheek and on the other side of me…..Edward looking down at Alice and I with that crooked grin on his god like face. I don't know what spiked my grief more, seeing his face after so long or realizing for the first time what I no longer felt. I missed Edward, or was it the idea of Edward I missed more. The thrill of your first love, feeling wanted and the sense of belonging I'd felt with his family. It was like a sudden epiphany, I was no longer in love with Edward. I could let him go, and with him the girl I used to be. The feelings were raw, and tore through me. I hadn't realized until now how hard I'd held onto him, not wanting my feelings for him to disappear. But they hadn't disappeared really, just changed, to go along with how I myself had changed. No more was the innocent naïve girl that had fallen so in love with this mythical creature. In her place was me, a little jaded, a lot more cautious, with a maturity I hadn't yet possessed when I was with Edward. **

**I lost track of how long I sat rocking back and forth on Edward's bedroom floor, my body wracked with sobs as I was hit with all of my self realizations. I took gulping breaths to calm myself, surprised at how freeing it was to let out all of the grief I'd been holding in for so long. I stood, reaching out to place the frame back in it's place before deciding to take it with me. They had taken a piece of me with them when they left me and Forks, I wanted my own piece of them to take with me into my uncertain future.**

**Uncertain to me anyway, the words from the little pixies letter reminding me that the all knowing Alice seemed to have the inside track on what my future held. I couldn't help but remember how often I'd been told how Alice's visions are subjective and could change based on what people decided. I couldn't help but wonder if my decision to finally close the door on this part of my past would have any bearing on her visions for my future. No matter, for now my future was in my hands and for the first time in two years I could look towards it with some hope rather than allowing my past to eclipse it. I was no longer worried that I would forever mourn the loss of my first love. I knew without a doubt that I could begin to move on from here. **

**I backed out of Edward's room, taking one last look around before shutting the door. I leaned forward and placed my forehead against the door, letting my lips skim the wood.**

"**Goodbye Edward, now we're both free." I whispered as I turned and walked down the hall to the stairs. **

**I'd gotten what I'd come here for and so much more. I'd wanted closure but in it's place I'd received a sort of absolution. I placed the key on the mantle, knowing they would find it if they ever, who was I kidding they are immortal. When they returned to their Forks home. I opened the door, locking it, taking one last look around attempting to put everything to memory. There were no tears as I closed the door. Only a new and foreign feeling of excitement and hope as I walked down the steps of the Cullen house for the last time and towards my future. **


	3. Chapter 3

As always, all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

The drive to Seattle was mostly uneventful. Much of the drive was spent listening to Charlie and Jacob exert their protective natures, informing me of my requirement to call home weekly, avoid frat guys and that if I wanted beads during Mardi Gras; Charlie would send me a whole case but that under no uncertain terms was I to take the traditional route in obtaining the coveted beads. I couldn't help but laugh at their macho postering. I'm sure if they could have their way I would have absolutely no fun while away at college. I'd considered it a huge battle won when Charlie had finally relented when I'd voice wanting an apartment off campus rather than living in a cramped dorm. The double shock came when not only had he given in to my request without to big an argument but offered to pay for it for so that I could focus on my studies rather than having to juggle both work and school. I'd applied for and been awarded scholarships that would cover my tuition. Amazingly the one thing that hadn't suffered during my dark senior year were my grades and I'd managed to graduate at the top of my class. I'd saved enough money working at Newton's Outfitting to cover any additional expenses so money wasn't going to be a huge concern.

Jacob carried my luggage into the airport while Charlie walked beside me, a stoic look on his face hiding his true feelings. I did not regret making this decision to leave, it was the best thing for me but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt at how much Charlie seemed to be struggling with my decision. Jacob was another one taking my leaving with more than a grain of difficulty only he made no attempt to hide it. My Jacob, always so straight forward with his feelings. If he was feeling it, you knew it. I was going to miss him as much if not more than I'd miss Charlie. Jake was my sun. His light had kept me from being completely swallowed by the darkness that first year, and from slipping back into it while I fought my way out of utter despair. I knew he felt more for me than I did for him. I love Jacob, just not the way he wants me to. A part of me recognized that I could stay and build a life with my shape shifter, a life full of contentment. But was it enough to just be content? The answer for me was a resounding no. I'd felt the curl your toes, take your breath away, the earth moves when he looks at you kind of love and if I was being completely truthful with myself I wanted to feel that way again. Not right now, I still had some healing to do, but eventually. I knew, and deep down I think even Jacob knew, that would never be us.

With my baggage checked the time for goodbyes was getting closer and closer. Jacob held my small hand is his large warm hand almost as if he was afraid to let go.

"I will be back Jake. You know, holidays and stuff. I'll call often, I promise." I assured the large boy that looked more and more like a man every day

He shuffled his feet, looking down while he mumbled " I know Bella but things just aren't going to be the same with you gone."

"I need this Jake and I need you to be ok with it." our eyes met and I could see the tears in my eyes reflected in his.

"I know and I will be." his large muscular arms wrapped me in his embrace, his lips softly kissing the top of my head. "Goodbye, my Bella." he whispered before letting me go

I turned to Charlie " Guess this is it huh?"

Charlie and I had always had a hard time showing our affection for each other however it had improved greatly over the past couple of years. It probably had something to do with the number of times he'd held me after I'd woken up screaming and begging Edward not to leave me.

"You remember everything I told you Bells, stay safe, call often." Charlie was in full on dad mode, it was endearing.

"You got it Chief." I winked at him, trying to lighten the mood.

As the call for my flight came over the loud speakers Charlie wrapped an arm around me and gave me a quick kiss to my forehead

"Bye Bells, I love you baby." his voice was hoarse with unshed tears.

Leaving was definitely bittersweet. The hope I'd been feeling most of the day to be starting this new chapter in my life was tinged with sadness as I said my goodbyes to Charlie and Jacob.

Squaring my shoulders and with a deep breath for courage I walked away from my anchor and my sun. Just before walking through the gate I turned and raised my hand in a small wave. Completely out of character for me I blew them a quick kiss, needing to see them both laugh one more time. They did not disappoint.

* * *

Everything moved much faster than I expected upon landing in New Orleans. I took a taxi to the small furnished apartment I'd managed to find. It was close enough to the University that I could walk, having to leave my beloved truck back in Forks. There is no way she'd have survived the trip, not to mention the month it would have taken me to get here at her top speed of just under 60mph. I'd really lucked out in that Charlie had friends here who knew people who knew people and I was able to secure the apartment without having to be here. Deposits and contracts had been taken care of long distance and the keys had been couriered to me in Forks.

I was a little nervous when the taxi pulled up, having never seen my new home. The building was old, but well cared for. If my memory served me correctly there were six apartments, occupied exclusively by students of the University. This was one part of the move Charlie showed some excitement over, hoping I'd be able to make some new friends. The driver helped me to carry my two large suitcases into the building, once again thankful I'd been able to procure a ground floor apartment.

"Welcome home Bella." I said aloud to myself as I closed the door to my new home behind me.

Small…….definitely not a lot of space. There was the bedroom, painted a pastel yellow, the new bed the owners assured me would be there taking up most of the space. A window with modern horizontal blinds a small closet and the door leading to the bathroom rounded out the room. It would do, not like I would be using it for much more than sleeping anyway. I huffed aloud at the continued thought that I was doomed to be a virgin forever. Not that I was willing to give it up to just anyone, if that was the case I'd have long ago given in to Jacob's advances. As hopeful as I was about this fresh start, I couldn't help but let some of the old insecurities come to the surface. That I would never again find the kind of love I'd had with Edward,or thought I'd had with him.

"Don't do this Bella!" and the pep talks started again.

I explored the rest of my new home, truth be told that really took only minutes. The living room contained a couch flanked by two end tables, a coffee table and a square wooden stand that held the television. The color scheme was neutral, mostly browns and off whites. The living room led into a miniscule kitchen, nothing spectacular…..one sink, fridge, small stove all in the same neutral colors as the living room.

The architecture of the entire apartment was in the style of old New Orleans so although small, the space held a certain amount of charm. Nodding I took one more sweeping look around, certain that I would be comfortable here.

Pulling out the new cell phone Charlie had gotten me as an early birthday present I saw that I had two missed calls, already knowing it would be Charlie and Jake. It was already approaching midnight, I was exhausted. I mentally checked off my to do list for tomorrow…….unpack, groceries, hit the campus book store, then spend the remainder of the day exploring some of this historic city that was my new home.

Deciding it was in the best interest of Charlie and Jakes sanity I gave them both a call, ensuring them I was safe and sound in my new home promising to call again once I was settled.

Dead on my feet I grabbed the comforter and pillows neatly stacked at the end of the bed and headed back to the couch.

"Tomorrow." I mumbled sleepily as I curled up on the small couch, slipping quite quickly into a deep sleep

* * *

My first few weeks in New Orleans flew by exceedingly fast. There were some moments of homesickness but between settling in, starting classes and actually making a couple of friends I found that I was adjusting quite well to my new life.

McKenna was my neighbor across the hall, she was majoring in Law, had just turned 21 and was my complete opposite. Where I was quiet and reserved McKenna was boisterous and outgoing. Tall and thin with short curly blonde hair, her personality matched her appearance, in one word - flamboyant. It was impossible not to like her and we'd become fast friends. Although completely different in appearance from Alice, her love for life and easy going nature reminded me so much of her. As much as I reminded myself I was moving on and letting go I still missed the dark haired pixie with a vengeance, more so since her letter. McKenna had reminded me how much I'd missed having a close girl friend. As much as I adored Jacob, there were some things we could just NOT discuss.

"Bella! Get your dancing shoes, we're going out!" McKenna burst through the door of my apartment after a quick knock.

"I-I h-have a lot of homework Kenna" the excuse stumbled out of my mouth.

"As do I, but it's Friday! Besides, you've been here almost a month and I've seen you do nothing but hit the books. Come on Bella, this is college, we're supposed to let loose every now and then." McKenna put on her best pout.

"It's one of those days….." I started, then stopped. Today was my 20th birthday. My mantra had become, you're letting go, you're moving on but when faced with this day I couldn't help but allow some of the darkness to hover back over me.

"Ok, ok, it's my birthday, not always the luckiest day of the year for me and well combined with it being Friday the 13th I just don't know if I should chance fate." I rushed out before McKenna could interrupt me, noticing the gleam she got in her eye the minute she'd heard the word birthday.

"Isabella!" she'd used my full name, I felt like I was being scolded by my mother. "You cannot sit at home and mope on your birthday! I won't allow it!" I was almost expecting her to stomp her foot and send me to my room.

"Kenna, please." Did I just whine?

"Bella get your ass in there and put on some party clothes, sex up that hair and then I'm taking you out! Go! Now!" She pointed at my bedroom door, this woman was going to make an amazing lawyer.

"Before I agree to this, where are We going?" I motioned between the two of us with my hand.

"There is this club, don't look at me like that we can get in. I sort of have an in with the bouncer that works the door." the smirk on her face told me all the information I needed to know about what that "in" might be.

"What the hell, what have I got to lose?" I threw up my hands in defeat while walking into my room.

Within minutes I was sticking my head out the door "Kenna….. Help." I blew out a puff of breath in exasperation. I had a feeling I was about to experience another round of Bella Barbie at the hands of my new friend.

A half hour later I hardly recognized myself. McKenna had thrown my hair back in a messy ponytail, letting stray curls frame my face. She'd lined my eyes in smoky charcoal liner and finished with a couple of strokes of mascara. Finally she'd gone digging in my closet, pulling out a pair of dark blue skinny jeans coupled with a pink tunic sweater that Rene had sent me last Christmas that hugged my curves in all the right places. She tossed me a pair of black ballerina flats then announced we were ready to go.

"Damn Bella, you might give me a run for my money in the hook-up department tonight." McKenna eyed me up and down.

"Ha." I snorted " No fear there Kenna, I have no intention of hooking up with anyone." I chewed on my lower lip, the urge to hook up with some random guy definitely not high on my list of things I wanted to experience in college.

"Uh huh" McKenna nodded as she grabbed my hand and we were out the door.

I gave myself a silent pep talk, the cheerleader living in my head reminding me that I wanted to start living life and having fun again. I however, couldn't help but wonder if I was diving into the deep end rather than wading into the kiddie pool to get my feet wet first.


	4. Chapter 4

**All Characters of Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N Thank you so much for the reviews. They inspire me to write and post new chapters as quickly as possible.**

**JPOV**

"**God dammit Peter, remind me again why you dragged me here." I banged the Corona I'd had sitting in front of me for an hour on the table. **

"**I donno Jasper, maybe it's because you were turning into a moody bitch and Char was threatening to divorce my ass if I didn't get you out of the house and in her words, cheer you the fuck up." Peter leaned back laughing as he balanced his chair on it's back two legs. **

**The here in question was a club near the campus of Tulane University in New Orleans. A trendy club frequented by the college crowd overflowing with humans who had consumed to much alcohol, and feeling entirely to many things. At least from the point of view of an empath. **

"**So let me get this straight. You didn't like my mood so you bring me somewhere packed with intoxicated, hormonal humans throwing off more emotions than I can keep up with thinking that might cheer me the fuck up? Am I understanding this right?" I arched one eyebrow as I leaned forward.**

**Cheeky bastard grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Yep sounds about right. In my defence though this was entirely Char's idea. She instructed me to take you out and encourage you to dazzle a few ladies, thought it might improve your outlook. Truthfully I think she just wanted a break from the depressing ass vibes you've been throwing off while at the same time seeking a little revenge." **

**The second half of that statement sounded much more like Char, Peter's wife than the first part. I was forced to agree with her that I'd been more likely than not projecting some pretty negative shit. Admittedly I had been on a spin of a downer for the past few days. The two year anniversary of my leaving Alice and the Cullens was rapidly approaching. They were still my family and we spoke on a regular basis. Alice and I were no longer mated but we were still the closest of friends. I hadn't left because I no longer wanted to be part of their family, I'd left because I just didn't fit. I know it hurt Alice when I decided I needed to go but truth be told we'd been growing apart for some time. A large part of me would always love my little dark haired saviour but we weren't in love with each other anymore by the time I left. I'm not sure we ever really were. She'd saved me from an existence I couldn't stomach anymore, feeding off of the blood of humans. I would forever be in her debt. The truth was I'd just always felt like the Cullen family misfit, the black sheep. My adopted family had always doubted my control. A combination of my past, Edward's ability to read my mind, and Alice's ability to see the future all played their parts in perpetuating their doubts. Anytime I even thought about or was tempted to drink from a human they knew about it and would immediately intervene, never allowing me to work it out for myself. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie seemed to have a little more faith or at least hope in my ability to resist the temptations but the doubt and disappointment I often felt radiating off of Alice and Edward wore on me. Neither Alice, nor Edward could fathom how a thought could be just that, a thought, an errant fantasy running through my psyche. To them if I thought it then surely I would act upon it. I for the most part had much more control than they gave me credit for. **

**Two years ago it had all come to a head. A self fulfilling prophecy one might say. The night I'd tried to eat Edward's human girlfriend. The entire event happened so fast, her pale white finger dripping blood and not only my own blood lust but that of almost every other member of the family radiating out of them and projected on to me. I snapped. I'd flown across the room, only to be met head on by Edward while Emmett's massive arms encircled me and dragged me kicking and growling from the house. That had been the beginning of a rapidly approaching end. Within days the entire family had up and left Forks and Bella. Edward had insisted it was for her own safety, that she just didn't belong in our world. He refused to continue throwing her in the path of danger and instead became the martyr, leaving his love for her own safety. There had been so much blame and sorrow flying around that it had become an emotionally hostile climate for me. I'd felt no blame being directed at me, which made things worse. It was as if they expected it, Jasper and his lack of control, only a matter of time. Days after we'd left Forks I'd decided I needed to leave, that it would be the best thing for all of us in the long run. **

**The first few months away from the Cullens were lonely ones, until I'd decided to seek out Peter and Charlotte. My brother and his wife had welcomed me with open arms. For the first time in decades I felt completely accepted for who and what I was. It helped that Peter and Char did not follow a vegetarian diet, although vicious, cruel, hunters they were not. Preferring to prey on the weak, dying and criminal element. My old friends did not hold me to a certain standard and I knew if slipped up in my control, they would never condemn me nor be disappointed in me for it. Finally, after decades of struggling with the natural urge to not feed on humans I was able to get a handle on it. Mine and Peter's theory was that rather than doing it for someone else, to gain favour in my family, or to please Alice I was doing it solely for myself. My control now was astounding, yet I still had not returned to my family. I'd visited them at their new home in Alaska on a couple of occasions and Alice and I had used those visits to form a close friendship. Although I was for the most part content with my existence now and had chosen to relocate to New Orleans when Peter and Char had, I seemed to be struggling this year with the anniversary of my life becoming for a time a cluster fuck of epic proportions. **

"**Jazz? Where the fuck did you go man?" Peter asked with more than a touch of humour in his voice. "You weren't all there for a few minutes brother, what's up with that?" **

**Couldn't blame him for finding it all amusing, after all, vampires just do not tend to space out. **

"**Was just lost in my thoughts for a moment." I shrugged, not wanting to make a thing of it.**

"**No shit! Can't wait to tell Char about this one." Peter laughed out loud smacking his large hand on the table. **

"**Asshole" I muttered**

"**Now would you look at that, I'd tap that! Well if that wasn't human anyway." Something or rather someone had caught Peter's eye on the dance floor. I'd have been shocked by his comment if it wasn't common knowledge that Peter and Char's marriage was a touch lax in the monogamy department. Whatever floats your boat I figure. Who was I to judge. **

**I turned to take a look at whatever human had caught my randy brother's attention on the dance floor behind me. I was completely unprepared for who I saw in Peter's sights.**

"**Fuck me." I hissed**

"**Uh no offence Jazz but no thanks man, that would just be wrong on so many levels." Peter had that shit eating grin on his face that he was famous for. **

**If Peter hadn't himself been a vampire and relatively immune to me, the glare I shot him would have been terrifying. Instead it only seemed to increase the waves of mischief and humour radiating off of him.**

"**Seriously Peter…." I paused "I can't believe it! That's Bella you're having a wet dream over." my voice turned to nearly a growl on the last part of that statement. Although she definitely did not look like the Bella we'd left behind in Forks. This Bella was for lack of a better term while my vampire brain took another vacation…smoking' hot. Her hair was longer, pulled back from her face that had lost much of it's teenage roundness, taking on the more angular look of a woman. Her body was definitely all woman. Edward's fragile little human had certainly grown up over the past two years. **

"**Bella? Bella? Ohhhh Edward's human, Bella." It was like I could see a light bulb over Peter's head light up at the realization " I thought she was in Washington, where y'all lived last."**

"**That makes two of us." I couldn't keep the awe out of my voice that Bella and I were in the same room together, on this of all days. **

**Two years to the day that I'd tried to essentially turn her into the main course at her own birthday party.**

"**Ya going to go talk to her?" Peter asked, his earlier amusement disappearing due to his knowledge of the whole situation that was the catalyst for me leaving Alice and the rest of the Cullens. **

"**Oh and say what? Hey Bella, long time no see. By the way sorry 'bout the whole trying to eat you and everything. Yeah I'm positive that would go over real well." My voice was laced with sarcasm.**

**I couldn't take my eyes off of the young woman dancing and whispering to her blonde friend on the dance floor. Wait…….dancing. Bella was dancing. Bella didn't dance. Hell Bella couldn't walk on a flat surface without tripping. If I didn't have complete faith in my enhanced vampire vision I'd be convinced I was seeing things as I watched Bella move her hips to the music, the picture of grace on the dance floor. **

**Maybe I'd be able to slip out without her seeing me. Who was I kidding, I'm a vampire. Of course I could slip out without her being none the wiser. So that was the plan, get the hell out of here while she was otherwise occupied and she'd never have to know that she'd been in the same room with the man responsible for Edward breaking her heart. **

**The plan became a mute point when she, without warning looked up and her eyes locked with mine. Her body stilled as she stopped, seemingly frozen in place. The blonde girl she appeared to be here with leaning over to speak with her. **

**I sighed in defeat, knowing I couldn't walk out of here pretending she didn't exist, knowing she'd seen me.**

"**Busted." Peter chuckled. It would have been completely out of character for him not to find amusement in this situation. **

**After fixing another glare on Peter I focused back on Bella attempting to get a read on her feelings before approaching her. She was still staring at me, a look of complete panic crossing her face. Was she scared of me? No one would blame her, although Bella wasn't particularly known to have a strong sense of self preservation. Fear however, was not an emotion I was getting off my read of her. Disbelief, she was exuding that in spades, wonder, hope……..hope? Yeah that's the Bella I know, feeling hope at seeing a vampire that attempted on this very day two years ago to essentially turn her from family to food. **

"**Not very gentlemanly of you to keep the lady waiting Whitlock.." Peter was loving this to fucking much. **

**Peter was very lucky I liked to keep a low profile or I'd have sent his smirking ass sailing out of his chair. In all honesty I knew Peter was trying to keep things as light as possible, hoping the amusement and calm he was radiating would help to settle my own rapidly fluctuating emotions. **

**Without breaking eye contact with Bella, almost fearing she'd disappear if I looked away I made my way down to the dance floor at a human pace. It didn't escape me that Bella's eyes appeared to grow larger when her friend let her know I was heading straight for her. Mortification played across her face when I let a laugh escape at her friend's comment. Bella all to aware of my vampire abilities would know that I could hear their conversation.**

**I shoved my hands in the pockets of my leather motorcycle jacket as I stopped in front of this girl that had almost been my sister for a time. The truth be told, I wasn't feeling overly brotherly after watching her from my seat above the dance floor.**

"**Bella" I nodded at her, not breaking eye contact and certainly not allowing any of the emotions I was feeling to make their way to my face. **

"**J-Jasper" she almost struggled to speak my name. **

**Bella was the first to break eye contact, looking down at her hands clutching her black purse like a lifeline. As was the habit whenever Bella was nervous, her bottom lip was sucked between her teeth, released only when she opened her mouth to ask me the question I knew would be at the forefront of her mind.**

"**Are the ummm……are you here…..with…." It was obvious she was struggling to ask me about the rest of my family. **

"**No Bella, it's just me, the rest are not with me." I didn't want her to have to struggle to get the question out, especially when I could already anticipate what it would be. **

**I prepared myself to feel disappointment flow from her, but instead it was a sense of…..could it be? Relief. That I had not expected. She had been so obviously in love with Edward, and attached to Alice and Emmett in a way that would rival siblings related through blood. A deep respect for Carlisle, and undeniable affection for Esme had been apparent. Bella's feelings for Rosalie had always been a little less clear than for the others but I had been able to pick up some semblance of affection coming from Bella in relation to Rose. How she felt about me though had always been the most difficult to decipher, mainly I think because Alice and Edward seemed to work double time ensure we were never left unattended. I'm certain my lack of control was the justification for this. Considering I knew first hand the depth of feelings she'd had for my family, I was beyond shocked at her relief that they were not with me. Perhaps Bella had changed in more ways than just physically and I couldn't help but think I'd thoroughly enjoy getting to know this new Bella. **

**A/N This reunion isn't over yet. Next chapter will be Bella's POV.**


	5. Chapter 5

All Characters and all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I just enjoy making them do what I want for a change!

**BPOV**

"**Diggers? Seriously Kenna?" the garish neon pink sign above the doors to the club had caught my attention and fuelled my doubts that this was a good idea.**

"**Give it a chance Bella." McKenna bumped me with her hip as she dragged me by the hand towards the doors. " Look at this line up, I told you THIS is the place to party." she motioned to the line that was starting to form around the block.**

**McKenna wrapped her arm around my waist as she approached the wall of muscles parked in front of the doors, presumably her bouncer friend. "Lenny, baby I'd like you to meet my friend Bella" her voice breathless, her finger running down his chest hinting at just how good of friends Lenny and McKenna were. **

"**Bella" he nodded, his eyes only momentary flicking to me then settling back on McKenna. His eyes running up and down her body, obviously appreciating what he was seeing. I could somewhat see how he'd be her type. Mr. Muscles wasn't bad looking; tall - at least 6'2; barrel chested; enormous arms folded over that chest; straight shoulder length hair; dark blue eyes and most likely soon to be putty in her hands if the look on his face as he watched the tall blonde beside me was indicative of anything. **

"**So Lenny…" she took advantage of his attention being solely focused on her, "Are you going to make me and my good friend here stand in that long line?" McKenna motioned towards the line with a tilt of her head, subtly jutting out her lower lip. **

" '**Course not sugar." he held the black metal door open for us. **

"**You're the best baby!" a squeal escaped her as she leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "I will see you later Lenny" she tossed over her shoulder as we walked through the door, placing emphasis on "will." **

**I was in awe! Not a chance I'd ever be able to exude that much confidence or blatant sexuality, never mind the bubbly energy she always seemed to have. I couldn't help but take notice that she was almost a perfect combination of Alice and Rosalie. Strikingly beautiful and knew how to use that beauty to her advantage but also a bundle of energy that never took no as an answer from me. Shaking my head and laughing at her antics at the door I allowed myself to be dragged to the bar area while she held my hand and bounced ahead of me. **

"**Whatcha drinking sweetie?" McKenna pulled me up beside her where she'd squeezed in at the bar, waiting for the bartender to take our order.**

"**Umm, uh, surprise me?" my uncertainty made it sound more like a question than an answer as I hunched my shoulders in a shrug.. I was rewarded with an arch of one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. " This is kind of the first time I've been somewhere like this." the embarrassment I was feeling at the admission staining my cheeks in a blush. **

"**Oh Bella honey don't be embarrassed. Just means I have so much to teach you!" excitement at the prospect evident in her voice. **

**McKenna leaned over the bar and gave our order to the bartender while I looked around, taking in this foreign environment. It was dark save for the strategically placed lights in the seating areas and the flashing multi coloured lights over the bar and crowded dance floor. Groups of twenty something's crowded around tables and moving to the beat of the music on the dance floor. I was completely out of my element, which strangely enough suited me just fine. After all wasn't that the point of the drastic move I'd made here, to have a different life and start actually living again.**

**McKenna handed me an electric blue drink in a tall glass with a bright pink straw as she threw one slim arm over my shoulders. " Come my young Jedi, there is much for you to learn tonight." **

**I laughed aloud, so not having pegged her as a Star Wars geek. "Are you for real? Star Wars Kenna?"**

**She shrugged her slim shoulders. "What? Anakin is hot!" I could see the humour and mischief in her eyes. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad birthday after all. Perhaps my bad luck had been left behind in Forks. **

**Sipping my drink I found I actually enjoyed the sweet fruity taste as McKenna led us to the railing surrounding the dance floor, pausing along the way to acknowledge people she knew. I envied the ease in which she seemed to relate to people. Even pre-Edward I hadn't been able to relate to people my age with such ease. **

"**Alright Bella, drink up! I. Want. To. Dance" each word punctuated by the sway of her hips. **

"**D-dance." my eyes widened, almost choking on the word as I popped the pink straw out from between my lips. **

"**Yes Bella, dance. Ya know, move your feet, shake your hips. Wait…..you don't dance either? Haven't been to a club, never had a drink, don't dance." the surprise evident on her face as she ticked my have nots off on her fingers. "Did you like grow up Amish or something?" **

"**Or something." I mumbled**

"**Next you're going to be telling me you're still a virgin." her voice giving her away that she seriously doubted she'd be adding that to my list of have nots. **

**The tell tale blush stained my cheeks as I cast my eyes down to my feet. **

"**Holy shit! I do have my work cut out for me." she giggled "S'ok sweety I love a challenge. I'm going to make it my misison to de-shelter you!" **

**Raising my eyes back up I could see the excitement in hers. If I didn't know better I'd swear she was channelling Alice. **

**Taking the glass out of my hand and setting it on a nearby table McKenna pulled me onto the dance floor. "We are going to dance, just follow my lead."**

**I was given zero chance to argue. **

**The music had a fast beat, the bass thumping through my body as we weaved through the throng of people already dancing. ****McKenna led us to the far edge of the dance floor, turning to face me and leaning forward so I could hear her over the almost deafening sound of the music. "Just feel the music Bella. Move your hips, and if all else fails - follow my lead." **

**My internal cheerleader picked up her pom poms again….. You can do this Bella, it's just dancing. It's not like I couldn't dance, just being a perpetual klutz I tended to avoid situations where I'd end up flat on my ass in a crowd of people. Oh what the hell, I was all about taking chances now wasn't I? I would never understand how I could have no fear of the supernatural beings - vampires and werewolves, yet the thought of dancing terrified me. ****Taking McKenna's advice I let the music dictate my movements. Closing my eyes I swayed my hips to the music only to find that after a few minutes I was actually enjoying myself.**

"**See it's easy!" McKenna shouted to be heard over the music. ****We danced through a few more songs until McKenna announced she was going to go get us another drink. "You stay and practice!" she laughed "I'm going to go get you another dose of liquid courage." **

**Nodding my head and laughing I continued to move my body to the music. For the first time in so very long I was thoroughly enjoying myself. The belief that I could be happy again didn't seem like such a distant possibility.**

"**Damn girl, you're good at this! What the hell were you so worried about?" McKenna sounded almost proud as she rejoined me on the dance floor, handing me my drink.**

**The laughter bubbling out of me and the response ready on my lips died as I looked up and saw……him. My body froze. My stomach was suddenly in my throat. I had to be seeing things. Wishful thinking maybe.**

"**Kenna?" my voice sounded more like a croak "W-hat's in this drink? Because I think I'm hallucinating?"**

**McKenna had a seriously confused expression on her beautiful face.**

**I leaned in to whisper to her, on the off chance my brain wasn't playing some sick joke on me. "Do you uh see that guy straight ahead, at the tables on the upper level?" her eyes immediately shot up to where I had directed her to look. "He's tall, curly blonde hair, intense eyes?" I gave her a more apt description of the man I'd made eye contact with moments earlier. The man I was certain was none other than Jasper Whitlock Cullen.**

" **If you mean that god in the leather jacket staring at you, then you bet I see him." I'm sure she couldn't help herself with her next comment. " God damn, I think he's the hottest thing I've seen on feet in a very long time!" **

"**That's what I was afraid of." I whispered as my euphoric mood of earlier quickly evaporated.**

"**Well don't look now sweety but your hallucination is coming this way." cringing when I saw Jasper chuckle knowing he'd heard her comment.**

**I couldn't help but wonder if this is what a deer in a pair of headlights felt like. There was nothing I could do but watch him saunter towards me, his eyes never leaving mine. It didn't escape me however that he looked very un-Jasper like. Gone were the designer clothes and generally pained expression that used to marr his handsome face. In their place was a relatively relaxed although intense expression on his pale face and he was dressed in a pair of well fitted blue jeans that rode low on his hips; paired with a dark green t-shirt that clung to his muscular chest; a black motorcycle jacket and a pair of well worn cowboy boot. This was so not the Jasper from my memories. In fact my memories had done him no justice at all, because this Jasper was unbelievable gorgeous!**

**Any doubt that he was real was alleviated when I heard my name. " Bella." his voice was deep and velvety.**

"**J-Jasper" I barely managed to stutter out, my mouth feeling like I'd been chewing on cotton all night. **

**The panic that ascended on me was swift. Breaking eye contact with Jasper I clutched my small black bag tightly in my shaking hands. I nervously chewed my lower lip as the questions funnelled fast and furious through my shocked brain. Was he alone? Where was Alice? Why did he look so different? Edward….oh my god, could Edward be with him? I knew I was probably starting to throw off more emotions than Jasper could handle. ****Finally I just decided to ask the question that I'm sure he was anticipating. "Are the ummm……are you here…. with?" My mouth suddenly felt disconnected with my brain, the words not coming out anything like what I wanted them to. **

**Jasper must have decided to put me out of my misery when he answered without fully being asked "No Bella, it's just me. The rest are not here with me." **

**A wave of relief washed over me. I'm positive Jasper looked as shocked and confused as I felt, the expression on his face assuring me he had picked up on my feeling of relief. Disappointment; further despair, now those wouldn't have shocked or confused me in any way. I was so not expecting to be relieved that I wasn't about to come face to face with Edward, or Alice for that matter. A part of me, in fact a large part of me was slowly coming to the realization that I would however like to get to know this very different Jasper in front of me. Something that would not have been possible had the rest of the Cullens been waiting in the wings. **

* * *

"**It seems Bella here has been shocked into forgetting her manners." McKenna's voice full of mirth seemed to be what was needed to pop the bubble that had seemed to surround Jasper and I when he'd first spoken my name. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm McKenna, and you are?" with a friendly unassuming smile she held her hand out to Jasper.**

"**Jasper, Jasper Whitlock. Pleased to meet you." he drolled in that Texas accent of his as he lightly grasped McKenna's perfectly manicured hand, lowering his head and light brushing across the top with his lips. Intense topaz eyes met mine as he released my friend's hand, as he smirked. **

**He smirked. Since when does Jasper smirk? Oh no, that means……. Shit…….empath Bella, remember he's an empath. Meaning he'd most likely felt my surge of curiosity as to why he hadn't introduced himself as a Cullen as well as the spike of jealousy I'd experienced when he'd lowered his lips to McKenna's hand. Jealous? Why in the world would I be feeling any jealousy? I really needed to get a handle on myself or Jasper was going to be able to read me like a book. Unlike Edward being unable to read my mind, Jasper had never had any difficulty in gauging, or manipulating my emotions. **

"**So, uh Jasper, who are you here with?" Almost certain this was not a place he would come on his own, or of his own free will for that matter. A combination of the sheer number of humans combined with the average age of said human, the steady flow of alcohol, as well as the general environment had to make this place an emotional mine field. Not exactly the dream hangout of an empath. I was curious as to who Jasper could be here with if it wasn't his family. **

"**That would be Peter" he gestured with his head in the direction he'd approached us from. "He decided I needed to get out of the house for a while. In his infinite wisdom this….." he gestured with his hands "is where he decided to bring me. Remind me to thank him for that later." he had an almost mischievous glint in his eyes, and one hell of a sexy grin on his face.**

**The man oozed sex appeal. How had I not noticed this before? Oh that's right…. Edward and the fact that he's married to my best friend. Well that thought was enough to kill any errant lust threatening to break the surface and further mortify me in front of Jasper. Focusing instead on the conversation at hand I recalled that I'd heard of Peter in passing during my many visits to the Cullen's home. I'd not learned much about him other than he was a very old and dear friend of Jasper's, as close as a brother to him as Edward and Emmett were. I remembered as well that he didn't not share the vegetarian lifestyle of the Cullens, but at the same time was also not a cold blooded hunter like the vampire James that had come after me. Alice had described Peter as more a vigilante of sorts, only preying on the dredges of society. **

"**Would you ladies care to join us?" Jasper's question interrupted the internal monologue going on in my head. **

"**Of course we would love to!" McKenna did not give me the chance to even consider declining his offer. ****McKenna wrapped her arm around my waste to move me forward as Jasper turned to lead the way. Leaning down she whispered in my ear dramatically. "You my little friend have so been holding out on could you not have told me you were aquainted with such a fine speciman as this?" Her eyes appraising Jasper from behind. I couldn't control the rearing of a certain green eyed monster, followed closely by complete mortification as I saw Jasper's shoulders vibrating in a quiet chuckle. I knew that not only had he heard every word McKenna said to me, but that I was also not doing a very bang up job of controlling my emotions.**

**My only response to her inquiry was a shrug of my shoulders and a quietly muttered "Oops?"**

**McKenna threw back her head and laughed, her blonde curls bouncing as she hurried us along behind Jasper. "No worries Bella, I'm pretty sure I can forgive you." **

**A/N - The reunion between Bella and Jasper will continue in the next chapter. It would have made this chapter much much to long for me to try to fit it all in. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. They most definitely make me want to update as quickly as possible. **


	6. Chapter 6

As usual all character and all things Twilight belong to the exceptionally talented Stephanie Meyer

A/N - I was hoping to get this chapter up last night but it turned out to be harder to write than I'd anticipated. Can't really call it writers block as I knew what I wanted it to be, it was getting it there. So hopefully I succeeded. Also it's starting to look like this is going to turn into quite a long story as I'm barely into where I want it to go. If there is anything anyone would like to see in the story, feel free to make suggestions and if they fit with the direction I see things going then I'll most definitely include them. A million Thanks to everyone that has reviewed and added this story to their favorites. I love the feedback, and knowing others are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it.

**BPOV**

Jasper led McKenna and I to a table directly across and up a level from where we had been dancing. As we approached, a man I could only presume was the infamous Peter welcomed us with cocky smile. " Well, well, well Jazz. Wherever did you find these two lovely ladies?" his voice although not as deep as Jasper's, carried the same turn your knees to rubber accent. You couldn't miss the appreciative grin on McKenna's face as her gaze lingered over Peter. He appeared to be tall judging by the long legs stretched out in front of him crossed at the ankles; muscular of course; shaggy dirty blonde hair; strong jaw; straight nose; dark eyes (my guess was contacts to hide the red that his eyes would be naturally) and he seemed to have a certain air of arrogance about him - he was striking, basically your average everyday gorgeous vampire. I mentally sighed, was there no such thing as a homely vampire? How was I ever going to move on when this - I looked between Jasper and Peter - was the standard some poor human guy would have to go up against.

Dammit, Dammit Dammit! Bella control yourself! I scolded myself internally when I caught Jasper looking at me, one eyebrow raised in question. No doubt in my mind he'd felt my exasperation. How had I never realized how irritating it was to be in the presence of an empath. Then again I'd never tried to shield my emotions from Jasper before. Giving my head a gentle shake I decided it was time to put my game face on and pay attention to what feelings I was projecting to the man beside me.

"Bella, McKenna…..this…" he gestured to Peter with his hand, "is my closest friend and brother, Peter Whitlock."

Peter stood and pulled a chair out for McKenna, which she immediately slid into gracefully while Jasper pulled out and beckoned to the chair closest to himself for me to have a seat in.

"Hello darlin', the pleasure is all mine," he addressed a near swooning McKenna before turning to me and carrying on in that sexy drawl of his. " Ah the beautiful Bella, finally a face to go with the name and dare I say the legend"

Shooting Jasper a 'what the fuck' look my hands tightly gripped the arms of my chair. It was almost comforting to see a panicked look cross his face instead of my own.

"Relax sugar, I assure you it's only good things I've heard." Peter had most obviously picked up on the look I'd sent Jasper's way. Vampire vision, of course he'd seen it! I was becoming painfully aware that I was out of practice when it came to hanging with vampires and dealing with their heightened senses and abilities. It really shouldn't surprise me that he'd heard about the Cullen's human, after all I'm sure I made for quite an amusing tale. The silly human that foolishly fell in love with a vampire.

Game face Bella, game face remember. "Likewise Peter, or well mostly all good anyway." planting a smirk on my face as I locked eyes with Mr. Arrogant.

"Darlin' I do believe you and I are going to get along just fine. However, someone is telling you tales cos' I can assure you there is very little good about me." the true meaning of that statement was not lost on me. "Well other than the outwardly obvious that is." the cocky grin was plastered back on his face, his muscular arms crossed over his chest as he leaned back in his chair.

"Aww Peter, I'm sure deep down you're just a big ol' pussy cat." this was the most fun I'd had in a long time. Of course only I would consider trading barbs back and forth with a big bad vampire fun.

"Oh now you've done it Bella." the deep chuckle coming from Jasper did strange and unwelcome things to my insides. " You've gone and created a monster. I'll have you know for the rest of the night it's going to be his mission to prove exactly how bad ass he is." I had to wonder if Jasper's voice had always been so damn sexy and how the hell that fact had escaped me. Oh yeah, that's right……Edward was why. Had to wonder what else my Edward induced blindness had caused me to miss.

"Bella, earth to Bella." McKenna waved a hand in my face. Now not only was I throwing off a smorgasbord of emotions at the empath every time he moved or spoke, but now I was apparently zoning out to the degree that McKenna was noticing.

"Oh….ha….sorry. Did you say something Kenna?" I blushed crimson in embarrassment.

"Nice of you to join us sweetie," she teased bumping her shoulder into mine. I on the other hand wondered if my face was giving off a red glow yet. "Anywho Bella, I was inquiring as to how you and Jasper know each other. Am I wrong in assuming you're quite familiar with each other?" McKenna glanced between Jasper and I and winked.

Oh she's so lucky I like her. I can't believe the evil goddess winked. Oh my god did she think there was THAT sort of history between Jasper and I? Fuck it, I wasn't even bothering to hide my panic or discomfort from Jasper now. Was Jasper actually fidgeting? Either he was as uncomfortable with the assumption as I was or the emotions I was throwing off had finally broken him because vampires do not fidget! Peter was almost vibrating in his chair from the laughter he wasn't even bothering trying to suppress.

For obvious reasons I couldn't tell her the whole truth, but if I put the human spin on the whole situation and omitted all the stuff about vampires and mythical being there really was a simple answer.

"I uh dated his brother in high school and……" McKenna's gaze shot to Peter before I'd even finished explaining

"But I thought you two hadn't met yet?" Utter confusion was painted on her face.

Peter put his hands up in front of himself while he shook his head in the negative. "No, no, don't look at me. I am unfortunately not the brother that beautiful Bella is speaking of."

I felt Jasper reach for my hand that was resting in my lap, enclosing my small, warm hand in his large ice cold hand. Feeling a sudden calm overcome me, I knew he was projecting. Smiling shyly at him, I nodded assuring him I was just fine . The agony I'd have been in discussing Edward a few short months ago was barely a dull ache now.

" Different Brother Kenna, I dated Jasper's younger brother……Edward." *Phew* I'd said it, and I didn't break. Score one for Bella in the moving my ass on department! Hmm apparently wanting to die of embarrassment doesn't kill the freakish cheerleader living in my head. Good to know!

"You mean there are more than just the two of you?" McKenna's eyes darted between Jasper and Peter. "Just how many brother's are there?"

"Well there is Peter here, myself, and also my two younger brothers Emmett and Edward." Jasper didn't offer much more information.

"Sweet! And uhh do these other brothers resemble you two?" I swear I was going to have to get the girl a bucket to drool in soon.

"There are similarities yes." Jasper was being purposely vague. Most likely to avoid having to go into the entire explanation of the Cullen's cover story.

The wheels were turning in McKenna's head, dread washing over me at what could end up popping out her mouth next. She didn't disappoint! "Bella….that conversation we had earlier….you know, the have not…." she paused dramatically before continuing. "How? More importantly, why?"

My face flamed. Oh god kill me now! Please! Of course there was no way I could hide the dark blush from a pair of vampires, never mind the waves of mortification oozing from every pore and straight onto Jasper. I really shouldn't have been at all shocked when in almost perfect unison they asked, "What?"

"Nothing!" I offered no further explanation. McKenna at least had the decency to look somewhat sheepish and quickly stepped in to get the conversation onto another track.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't allow you to finish explaining how you knew Jasper so well." This was so not the track I was hoping she would jump to, but it was certainly the lesser of the two evils.

"Oh right, well as I was saying…." my hand was still tucked gently in Jasper's resting just above my knee. A distraction for sure, but comforting all the same. " I dated Jasper's younger brother Edward when I was in high school and his wife Alice was my best friend."

"Wife!?" McKenna's eyes shot up to Jasper's face, then back down to my lap where mine and Jasper's hands were resting combined.

"Ex-wife." the word came out more as a mumble as Jasper's eyes again met my own.

Yanking my hand out of his my only other reaction was a resounding " What?!"

My internal monologue kicked into overdrive. I'm going into shock. Alice and Jasper divorced? Not possible! It would explain a lot. His being here, the drastic change in his appearance and demeanour , they had all screamed a definite lack of Alice influence. Does that mean I no longer have to feel guilty that I've been lusting after my best friend's husband (since well minutes after seeing him again if I'm being honest with myself) if he's technically no longer said best friend's husband? Why does Peter look like the fucking cat that ate the canary, it's like he knew this was going to happen, almost like he just knows shit. Not quite like Alice but nearly as irritating. He's had that arrogant shit eating grin on his face through most of this let's make Bella squirm bullshit! Why didn't Alice tell me in her letter? Then again she had said that a lot of things had changed. The questions and random observations were racing through my psyche as though I had no control over it.

"Darlin' you need to calm down." the expression on Jasper's face was almost one of pain.

Breathe In, Breath Out. I worked double time on calming my erratic emotions, positive that this time I'd most definitely cause Jasper to short circuit. "I'm calm, not freakin' out." I gave Jasper a reassuring smile. His topaz eyes seemed to be pleading with me and I knew we needed to talk….alone. On a whim I made a very unBella like decision. What the hell, this night was already steadily digressing to a train wreck of epic proportions anyway. Grabbing my purse off the table I grasped Jasper's hand in mine. "Come on Cowboy, you're going to give me a ride home. Obviously we have more than a little catching up to do." I tugged on his arm, knowing that if he didn't want to move I'd have no luck budging him from his seat.

"I couldn't agree more darlin'." he drawled, rising gracefully from his chair to stand beside me, one hand resting on my lower back.

I sincerely hoped McKenna wouldn't be to angry at me for ditching her. However, after Jasper's admission that Alice was now his ex-wife there was no way I was going to be able to sit here and make idle chit chat.

My concerns were soon dispelled by the pleased look on her face.

I was about to apologize when she interrupted, " It's all good sweetie. I'll be over at the crack of ohhhh noonish tomorrow. If you really want to make it up to me you can have an extra large coffee from that store down the street from our building, you know with the butter pecan flavour stuff in it waiting for me."

"Done!" I promised her

I could see Peter nodding in Jasper's direction and subtle almost unnoticeable changes in Jasper's facial expressions. Positive they were having one of those almost silent vampire conversations, to fast and much to quiet for human ears to pick up. For the benefit of human ears his parting words were spoken at a regular tone and pace. "Later man, behave!"

"Shit Jazz, you know me better than that!"

"Exactly!" was Jasper's reply.

Watching them interact with each other my dominant thought was that these two together were a girls wet dream. Peter's eyes shot up to mine as though he'd been able to tell what I was thinking. No, not possible. Sure he seemed to know stuff, to anticipate it almost. But mind reading......oh I certainly hoped not. I made a note to ask Jasper.

" Catch ya later Bella, or should I start calling you lil' miss firecracker." the tell tale blush appeared on my face at Peter's farewell as Jasper guided me towards the stairs, his hand still on my lower back.

"Bite me Peter." was my parting jibe as Jasper and I made to descend the stairs.

" Tempting sugar, tempting." Peter grinned flashing his teeth.

Jasper emitted a low growl as he wrapped a muscular stone arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"Oh you must be a special one Miss Swan. Not often can I provoke the Major to come out in him." Peter grinned, and gestured towards the man close at my side, his arm securely around me.

"The Major?" I was curious.

"A story for another place and time, now shoo before I really piss him off" I could hear Peter's laughter behind us as we finally made our way down the stairs.

Jasper held me close to his side as he manoeuvred us through the club and out the doors. My insides were tumbling every which way by the time we exited the club into the amazingly quiet night. The music inside was merely a muted roar from outside. With the chaotic and energy charged atmosphere no longer surrounding us I felt suddenly nervous.

"What's got you nervous Bella?" I felt his breath brush my ear, causing me to shiver.

"Um, well……does this, I mean…" I paused to collect myself. " This, us, how comfortable we are with each other considering you know…." my voice trailed off….

"Considering I attacked you, you mean." I felt his body stiffen beside me.

"No Jazz, god no!" I turned in his arms to look up at his face. His jaw was set in a hard line, a pained look in his eyes again. " I wasn't even thinking about that. I meant how we were never, you know, close before. I was just wondering if you find it weird that we're not having that problem now after such a short amount of time in each other's presence tonight."

Honestly I'd never felt particularly close to Jasper in the past. Of course I'd felt the affection for him that I did the entire family, but I'd never felt the bond with him that I seemed to have with the rest , well with the exception of Rosalie that is. But the Jasper I was with tonight I felt drawn to, and strangely comfortable in his presence. It wasn't just that he looked different, and sounded different, HE was different. There was this unassuming confidence about him now. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It could not be described as arrogance, self assured maybe. I'd seen glimpses of this confidence when we'd gone to Phoenix, but very rarely after that. The old Jasper had always seemed almost consumed by his thirst, and the struggle that ensued from denying his natural instincts.

"Oh…" his expression softening, the pain easing in his eyes. "Well to be truthful Bella, it wasn't my idea to not be close to you before, but that's not a conversation meant to be held in the middle of a sidewalk. So the short answer to your question is no, darlin' I don't find it weird. And you Bella, do you find this new hmmm comfort level between us odd?"

"No. It's different……good different." I leaned my forehead against his muscular marble chest. The iciness of his body cooling the blush I'm sure was evident on my face. "Nothing that feels as right as being around you does could be odd."

I could feel the chuckle rumbling through Jasper's chest. " Come on sugar, let's go start that catching up."

He led me to a pair of motorcycles parked along the curb. I figured I'd died and gone to heaven when Jasper swung his long leg over the seat of the jet black Ducati and sat down, motioning behind him for me to join him.

"Hop on sweetheart."

"Wow…." I'm not sure if it was the bike itself that had me breathless, or the image now burned on my brain of Jasper perched on the powerful machine. He looked…..dangerous, and undeniably sexy.

Jasper handed me a helmet as I climbed on behind him. "Hang on tight Bella." he looked over his shoulder, firing up the engine as he winked me, and I was graced with that lopsided endearing grin.

I wrapped my arms tightly around Jasper's waist, resting my cheek against the middle of his leather covered back. The muscles in his back bunching as he manoeuvred the bike into traffic, I clung tighter to him suddenly needing to clear the air of the biggest thing hanging between us.

"I never blamed you Jasper." my face tucked in close to his body I spoke the words quietly. When I felt his strong, cold hand cover mine I knew he'd heard me.

A/N - The next chapter will be Jasper's POV as a companion to this chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

As usual, all character and all thing Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

**JPOV**

As we neared the table where Peter appeared to be patiently waiting, I couldn't help but see the "I love trouble" grin plastered on his face. Knowing he'd not only seen but heard the short exchange between Bella and I moments earlier.

The thing about Peter was that he just seemed to know shit sometimes. He wasn't telepathic like Edward, or psychic like Alice, not even empathic like myself. He however at different times seemed to possess elements of all three abilities. Cocky bastard definitely had a Yoda complex, was irritating as hell.

"Well, well, well Jazz. Wherever did you find these two lovely ladies?"

And it begins I thought to myself. I gauged the feelings of those around me, wanting to be prepared for the probable emotional mine field I was stepping into. Peter was radiating no more than the normal amount of mischief I usually sensed from him thankfully. Bella's companion seemed to be feeling elevated levels of excitement. I was comforted by the genuine affection I could sense her feeling towards Bella, recalling the phoniness, and general spite I'd sensed from some of her human friends back in Forks. Exasperation, combined with sparks of irritation, nervousness, and lust....lust? From Bella? I raised an eyebrow at the dark haired beauty beside me. Seeing her give her head an almost unnoticeable shake, and compose her facial features I decided to carry on with the introductions.

"Bella, McKenna ….. this..." I gestured towards Peter "… is my closest friend and brother, Peter Whitlock."

Peter's name had been brought up in front of Bella on a few occasions when she'd been spending most of her waking hours at our home in Forks, so I wasn't at all surprised that there seemed to be no spark of curiosity from her at his chosen surname. It did not escape my attention, nor Peter's how her gaze lingered on his eyes. He made sure to wear tinted contacts whenever he was going to be in the presence of humans, however a red hue to his irises was still at times visible. I assumed she'd feel fear or at the very least some semblance of repulsion considering her experiences with red-eyed vampires but instead there was only the graciousness that she'd always bestowed on our kind.

Standing, Peter pulled out a chair for McKenna as the attractive human nearly swooned at his feet when he drawled, "Hello darlin', the pleasure is all mine." I was almost impressed that Peter actually had it in him to act like a gentleman, it wasn't exactly something that was part of his nature. And then he blew it.

"Ah the beautiful Bella, finally a face to go with the name and dare I say the legend."

Panic gripped me when I saw the look of complete disbelief combined with hurt on Bella's face while a blast of anger aimed pointedly at me let me know in no uncertain terms that she was not at all pleased with Peter's description of her as a legend. She'd naturally caught on right away that he was of course referring to her being the "Cullen's human." It wasn't a secret that she'd always felt somewhat inferior to my family. Often in the past I'd overheard her describe herself as plain; ordinary; a mere mortal. If there was one thing that Edward had been right about when it came to Bella, it was that she did not see herself clearly. The girl is striking, both on the inside and out. Her rich brown hair streaked with a prism of reds and coppers; fair skin, almost as translucent as my own; the endearing blush that brings such colour to her beautiful face. Her doe like brown eyes are by far her best feature. You can see every thing she's feeling reflected in those brown orbs. Even if I didn't possess my empathic ability I'd be able to read every emotion just by looking into her eyes. She's petite and fragile looking but it this case looks are most certainly deceiving as I'd seen a strength in her that I'd never seen in any other, human or vampire. The love and compassion she is capable of overshadows all else. I've never felt fear, or loathing in her presence or whenever she's been in the presence of any of my family members. There has only ever been acceptance and a vast affection.

"Relax sugar, I assure you it's only good things I've heard." Peter may not have had much skill in being a gentleman, but he made up for it in spades with his own brand of southern charm.

"Likewise Peter, or well mostly all good anyway." I could see the smirk on her face as she locked eyes with Peter. The girl had rarely managed to stay angry at anyone long.

I snickered quietly. It was always so refreshing when there was someone who was not myself or Char that could stand up to the arrogant ass that was Peter.

I could see amusement flickering in his eyes, enjoying the verbal sparring with Bella.

"Darlin' I do believe you and I are going to get along just fine. However, someone is telling you tales cos' I can assure you there is very little good about me. Well other than the outwardly obvious that is."

Even though Peter had a firm control over his blood lust he by no means deluded himself into believing that he was not indeed a predator. He didn't deny his true nature he was just more selective in his classification of prey. Peter did not hunt for sport, merely to abate his hunger. He was also no sadist, his kills were always quick and relatively painless. Torturing and playing with his food was not his style. There was no one that knew him better than I did, including his wife and vice versa. Very few knew that I had in fact sired Peter, he was more family to me than even the Cullens. Nothing he ever did or said shocked me, I'd come to expect it most of the time.

I had to laugh out loud at Bella's description of Peter as a big ol' pussy cat deep down. If she only knew. When required he was the fiercest vampire I knew, next to myself. "Oh now you've done it Bella. You've gone and created a monster. I'll have you know for the rest of the night it's going to be his mission to prove just how bad ass he is."

Again, I felt a spike of lust coming from Bella. What the fuck?! Was I broken? I focused myself, trying to get a clear read on her emotions and there was nothing. It was like I'd met with a wall, blocking the path of my power. Strange, then again her mind had completely blocked out Edward so it wasn't out of the question that she'd be able to block her emotions from being felt by me….but at will? Never had I met a human who's feelings and emotions I couldn't myself feel.

The next time I spoke with Carlisle I'd have to ask him if that was possible. Although, I hadn't decided if, or when I was going to discuss seeing Bella again with the Cullens. I knew I couldn't hide it forever, in fact it's possible had already looked into my future and seen this. I felt a modicum of relief, knowing that Alice would have contacted me if she'd had a vision of me seeing Bella again. My biggest concern was that Esme and Carlisle had been frequently asking me to "come home" for at least a visit. The prodigal son, Edward had returned home for a short stay. I knew without a doubt that he'd be able to pluck this memory out of my head within minutes of being in his presence. His being prone to over dramatize a situation I couldn't see how it would go over well. We as a family had been strictly forbidden from interfering in Bella's life, it wouldn't matter to him that I hadn't planned this little reunion of sorts. Hopefully I'd be able to put the visit off long enough that Edward would take up his wandering again before I ventured back to Carlisle and Esme's for a visit.

Peter shrugged his broad shoulders at me, as though he knew what I was contemplating but having no idea what the outcome would be. So much for his knowing shit, seemed his little gift was as much on the fritz as mine was.

McKenna chose this particular moment, while I was lost in figuring out how to divert a family melodrama, and Bella was surfing off in lala land to ask how we knew each other. The implication she included in her enquiries didn't escape me. Bella didn't even seem to hear the question, she just looked…well she looked almost void. It was kind of disconcerting not being able to feel anything from her. I felt immense relief when McKenna was able to break Bella from whatever thoughts she was obviously lost in. A blush creeped into her face when she realized her little zone out had been witnessed by everyone.

Again, McKenna asked the same question, with the same implication. "Anywho Bella, I was inquiring as to how you and Jasper know each other. Am I wrong in assuming you're quite familiar with each other?" I ran my hand through my curls, taking a deep breath. Whatever wall Bella had erected around her feelings earlier had come tumbling down and I was being bombarded with a plethora of panic and embarrassment. Tapping my long fingers on the table in a staccato beat was finally to much for Peter. Considering the fact that Vampires do not EVER fidget, I could almost understand how he found this situation to be hilarious. He didn't even attempt to hide his reaction, his whole body vibrating with laughter.

My main concern was the subtle wave of sadness that seemed to engulf Bella. It wasn't something that shocked me considering the answer to McKenna's question was that the major ties that binded Bella and I to each other were Edward and Alice. What did shock me was that although there was an underlying feeling of sadness surrounding her, I couldn't feel a spike in any other emotions I'd expected this question to trigger. There was no anger, no grief, no extremes at all. What a confusing little human she was.

Bella began to explain how she'd dated Edward in high school, putting a very human spin to the epic, albeit relatively fleeting love story that was Edward and Bella. McKenna swiftly interrupted, assuming that Peter was the brother in question. Ripples of confusion were flowing off of her, as she looked rapidly between the three of us.

Peter dispelled the notion quickly but with more tact than I thought him capable of. "No, no, don't look at me. I am unfortunately not the brother that beautiful Bella is speaking of."

Grasping Bella's hand in my own I anticipated that considering McKenna's quite apparent rabid curiosity that this discussion was soon going to escalate to include other members of my family. What I had not anticipated was how Bella's fragile little hand would feel in mine. The frigid marble of my skin seemed to soak in the warmth from hers. I'd yet to feel anything like it in my existence.

Despite my gesture I continued to sense the sadness surrounding Bella. I projected calm in Bella's direction. Her shy smile and nod assuring me she was indeed ok. I had the urge to throw waves of lethargy at Peter and McKenna in the hopes that their unconscious forms would allow for this conversation to be over. I realized however that if I even attempted it I would soon be facing the wrath of Bella, something I wanted to avoid at all costs.

Somehow through all my internal musings I managed to offer a very subdued explanation of my family dynamic without going into any detail and including only a mention of my brothers. Through all of it I kept Bella's hand enclosed in my own, which had somehow come to rest on her leg. I could not wrap my vampire brain around the feelings the contact was provoking. My fingers tingled where my skin met hers, I wouldn't have been at all surprised to see arcs of electricity radiating from our joined hands.

McKenna caught my attention in a vice grip when she posed her next question "Bella….that conversation we had earlier….you know, the have not…." she paused dramatically before continuing. "How? More importantly, why?"

I didn't have the foggiest clue as to what the tall blonde was talking about.. Whatever it was though had caused a deep flush to cover Bella's face and accelerate her heart rate. A scent that was so typically Bella, a sweet combination of vanilla and freesia triggered a slight burn in my throat. Although uncomfortable I was able to without struggle swallow the venom in my mouth. I had been pleasantly surprised to find that the smell of her blood had not been at all bothersome until now. Relieved to find the tolerance for human blood, and fierce control I'd cultivated the past two years was holding up even when tempted with Bella's intoxicating scent.

Allowing my inquisitiveness to get the best of me and in tandem with Peter, almost in unison we asked "What?" Our eyes passing back and forth between the two girls.

"Nothing!" was Bella's response, leaving no argument that this topic was closed and off limits.

I could sense that McKenna felt guilty for embarrassing her friend when she quickly turned the conversation back to how Bella and I were so well acquainted.

Little did I know that the shit was about to hit the fan……

Bella continued where she'd left off after being interrupted by McKenna earlier, explaining how she'd dated Edward in high school as well as adding how she'd been best friends with my wife.

A spike of disgust shot from McKenna to me, her eyes darting to mine and Bella's joined hands. Obviously I'd not been acting like a married man in her opinion. Mainly I suppose, because I was no longer a married man. Unfortunately I did not use much tact in announcing that fact in front of Bella.

"Ex-wife." I mumbled, my eyes darting to Bella's, unsure of how she was going to take this bit of news.

With a physical strength I didn't realize she possessed she unceremoniously yanked her hand out of my own, accompanied by a shocked and bewildered "What?!"

Her emotions hit me like a freight train. Fast and furious they were being thrown at me and as soon as I'd be able to get a handle on one she'd feel some other new and extreme emotion. There wasn't a chance I was going to be able to project calm on to her. The sheer magnitude of what she was emitting made it feel like my chest was being ripped apart, not a pleasant experience by any means.

"Darlin' you need to calm down." I was able to force out through clenched teeth.

The weight of her emotions began to lift off of me. The realization that she was causing me physical pain what she'd needed to reign herself in.

"I'm calm, not freakin' out." The small smile she gave me reassuring.

I hadn't expected her to react well to the news of Alice and I divorcing. What completely threw me though was that there was no way that everything she'd just been feeling could have been in response to the ending of my marriage. Considering the rate and force at which she'd been throwing emotions off, from what I'd been able to detect she'd had moments of guilt, elation, doubt, irritation as well as a few others I hadn't been able to fully grasp.

If I thought the surprises were over, I was more than a little mistaken. Without warning Bella seized my hand and said the words that I thought would cause my jaw to hit the table in front of me.

"Come on cowboy, you're going to give me a ride home. Obviously we have more than a little catching up to do.

I felt her gentle tug on my arm. Didn't have to ask me twice. There were conversations to be had that could not occur in front of an audience. Not even Peter. Rising I placed one hand on the small of her back, the heat of her hand having nothing on this part of her anatomy.

"I couldn't agree more darlin'." was my affirmative response

While Bella said her goodbye's to McKenna I took advantage of the lapse in the human's attention to have a tête-à-tête with Peter, lowering our voices and taking advantage of our enhanced speed and hearing.

"Sure this is such a good idea Jazz?"

"Since when have you been the champion of forethought?" I knew I was being a smartass, but it was my typical reaction to Peter's big brother routine. He may have been older than me when he was changed, but I'd been at this existence longer.

"Just saying man….." his voice trailed off.

"If this is about my control don't sweat it. You know as well as I do that I've never had the blood lust under control before the way I do now."

"It's not that, I just get the feeling that there is a lot more between you and Edward's little human than you both realize."

"Quit with the cryptic Yoda bullshit Pete!"

"I can't tell what it is with you two, but there is something there that has nothing to do with Alice or Edward."

"Yeah and what if that's what I'm hoping?"

"Are you completely fucking insane Jasper?! She's a human in case you missed that fact. I get it man, I do., She's sweet, she's innocent, she's unbelievably attractive….for a human. It's not natural!"

"Oh, right. Cos' we're the most fucking natural things out there right? Besides, we're just going to talk."

"Well you do what you gotta do Jazz, but I've never been wrong before and I'm telling you there is something else there between you two."

"I believe you, I do. I'm a fucking empath Peter, feeling shit is what I do. I feel how it's different between Bella and I now, different than when she was Edward's. We'll talk about it later when I get home, I swear. For now though I need to do this."

"Ok, Ok, I'll drop it. For now."

The last of our conversation we carried on at a human's pace. No need to raise suspicion with the human in our company actually unaware of what we are.

"Later man, behave."

"Shit Jazz, you know me better than that."

"Exactly." I threw back at him as I began to walk away, my hand still at rest on Bella's back.

There it was again…….a spike in lust. This time I was more than positive it had come from Bella as I watched her eyes slide between Peter and myself. From the expression on Peter's face, using his Jedi mind tricks he'd figured out what emotion I was sensing from Bella. I silently groaned, dreading what was coming.

" Catch ya later Bella, or should I start calling you lil' miss firecracker?"

"Bite me Peter!" Bella threw over her shoulder.

Of course, only Bell would say "bite me" to a vampire. Another thing Edward was right about, the girl most definitely had no sense of self preservation.

"Tempting sugar, tempting." I saw the flash of Peter's teeth and regardless of the humour in his tone my protective instincts where Bella was concerned kicked into overdrive.

A low growl rumbled in my throat. I wrapped my arm around Bella's tiny waist, pulling her defensively to my side. Peter's triumphant laugh broke through the haze threatening to descend over me.

"Oh you must be a special one Miss Swan. Not often I can provoke the Major to come out in him."

"The Major?" I could hear the probing tone in Bella's soft voice.

"A story for another place and time, now shoo before I really piss him off." Peter's laughter followed us as we descended the stairs.

The degree of instinctive protectiveness I'd felt for Bella floored me. Without a doubt I'd have gone toe to toe with anyone vampire or otherwise to protect her in the past but this had been different. I'd not only felt protective, I'd felt possessive. It felt like a rug had been pulled out from under me. All of these self realizations were starting to get exhausting. It was long past time to get out of this place and somewhere Bella and I could start to address the past, and hopefully garner some insight into the future. With my arm still securely wrapped around Bella's waist, her soft body so warm against my own rock hard form I led her out of the nosy club into the peace filled night.

Bella was nervous. I learned towards her, so that my mouth was mere inches from her ear, allowing my breath to fan past the side of her face. "What's got you nervous Bella?"

It was premeditated, and I knew I wasn't playing fair but I needed to know if she was feeling even a fraction of the connection I'd almost instantaneously felt with her tonight.

"Um, well……does this, I mean…" her initial stutter was endearing " This, us, how comfortable we are with each other considering you know…." Her voice trailed off.

I felt like I'd been doused with ice water, a strange feeling considering fluctuations in temperature didn't have a bearing on my comfort level.

"Considering I attacked you, you mean." My body involuntary stiffened, dreading yet anticipating what her answer would be.

"No Jazz, god no!" her small body turned in my arms, her warm hands resting on my chest" I wasn't even thinking about that. I meant how we were never, you know, close before. I was just wondering if you find it weird that we're not having that problem now after such a short amount of time in each other's presence tonight."

Relief. I felt immense relief that I wasn't the only one feeling this very sudden shift in our dynamic. I couldn't begin to explain it, but it was there none the less. My body relaxed, a foreign feeling of warmth replacing what had felt like a deep chill only moments before.

"Oh… Well to be truthful Bella, it wasn't my idea to not be close to you before, but that's not a conversation for a parking lot. So the short answer to your question is no, darlin' I don't find it weird. And you Bella, do you find this new hmmm comfort level between us odd?"

"No. It's different……good different." She leaned her forehead against my chest, I could feel the heat from her body and her warm puffs of breath against the spot where my heart used to be. "Nothing that feels as right as being around you does could be odd."

The relief and pleasure I felt at her admission expelled in a low chuckle.

"Come on sugar, lets go start that catching up." I gently moved her body away from mine in order to lead her to where I was parked.

The look on her face when she saw my black Ducati was nothing short of priceless. Settling myself on the machine I planted my feet on the ground and leaned forward, gripping the handlebars.

"Hop on sweetheart." I motioned for her to join me on the bike.

A breathless" Wow…" and a subtle darkening of her eyes was her only outward reaction. It was the reaction she was having internally that peaked my interest. My eyes widened as she climbed on behind me and I was hit with a scent even more intoxicating than her blood. Sweet, innocent little Bella was aroused. Passing her the helmet I couldn't suppress the smug smile on my face. When I fired up the powerful engine I heard her heartbeat accelerate, the smell of her arousal becoming more powerful. Fuck me but it was potent.

"Hang on tight Bella." I winked at the beauty behind me before manoeuvring the bike into traffic.

Bella's weight pressed into my back should have been barely noticeable but that was not the case. Her slim arms were wrapped tightly around me, the front of her warm little body flush with my back, her face pressed tightly between my shoulder blades. The small vibrations her voice made and the simple words that she knew I'd hear made me feel a freedom, a lightness that I hadn't felt in two years, if ever. I'm not sure if she realized just how powerful the admission was and the potential it held to help heal the part of me that felt like a monster. My hand clutched Bella's to my chest, needing her to know that I had indeed heard her quietly speak.....

"I never blamed you Jasper."

A/N - Thanks so much to those that keep reviewing and to those that have added this as a favorite story or alert. It's a phenomenal feeling to know that others are enjoying something that until now just jumbled around in my head. I will try to get a couple more chapters up over the weekend and to work ahead so that the updates can happen quickly.


	8. Chapter 8

All Characters and All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

A/N - Ok so this is a much longer chapter. I was originally going to do this in both Bella and Jasper's POV but decided to go with just Jasper's. There is a method to my madness. I already have it planned that Bella's POV on the whole matter of Edward leaving will be addressed later in the story. Again, my many thanks for those that have reviewed, added this story to their favorites, or added this story or me to their alerts. You guys rock!

**JPOV**

Once we were on our way it hit me that I didn't have the foggiest clue where we were headed. I figured I'd be pushing it if I brought Bella to Peter and Char's, unsure if she'd be comfortable with it or not. I had my own cabin set off from the main house but maybe being in her element might be more conducive to the conversations about to take place. If she didn't handle the "catching up" so well she wouldn't have to deal with needing to be driven home. I pulled into a gas station parking lot so I wouldn't have to shout over the dull roar of the wind. Kicking out the kickstand I slid off the bike, pulling Bella with me.

"Umm late night craving for a super slushy and a corn dog Jazz?" Bella deadpanned, unable to hold back her giggle as she cocked her head towards the 24-hour gas station/convenience store.

My first thought was, if she only knew. I was most definitely starting to crave something and it sure wasn't a super slushy or corn dog. What the hell was wrong with me, this was Bella! She'd for all intents and purposes been like a little sister to me when her and Edward were a couple. All these rather new and unexpected reactions to the more grown up Bella made me wonder though if I'd have seen her the same way back then if I hadn't perceived her as belonging to Edward, or been allowed within fifteen feet of her without Alice or Edward supervising. I decided that subtlety would be much more effective than proclaiming that if I was craving anything it was her. A craving that had absolutely nothing to do with her blood.

"Bella darlin' as much as I've been enjoying having your little arms wrapped around me, you still haven't told me where this home of yours is that I'm supposed to be giving you a ride to." Yeah real subtle Whitlock I mentally berated myself.

I heard her breath hitch, the scent of her arousal again perfuming the air around us. A blush stained her cheeks and if possible her eyes turned an even deeper shade of brown. A picture flashed through my mind of Bella with her dark curls surrounding her lovely face; eyes like black pools; perfectly pink lips parted in a moan as I rose above her. I snapped my eyes shut essentially blocking out the enticing thought, trying to regain control of the part of my body it was effecting the most. Fuck me, I was turning into a masochist.

"Why Jasper Whitlock, are you flirting with me?" Bella's soft lilt did nothing to calm my errant body and mind.

"And if I am?" I cocked one eyebrow at the still blushing girl looking up at me from where she was leaning against my bike.

"Keep it up, it's cute." she giggled as she hopped back on the back of my bike patting the spot in front of her while she rattled off her address.

My ego along with a certain part of my anatomy that had been on the fast track to becoming an obvious bulge in my pants deflated like a balloon. Cute? Had she seriously called me cute? I was a fucking terrifying vampire, the very top of the food chain; never mind my superhuman strength and speed and she'd called me cute. I was rendered speechless.

I could still hear and feel her giggles as I settled back on my Ducati. Bella's arms were once again wound around me as I pulled back into traffic. My wounded ego received a minor lift when I heard what could only be described as a contented sigh as she settled her body closer to mine.

* * *

Bella's led the way into the white brick French Colonial where her apartment was located. My hand was resting once again on her lower back as she fished the door keys out of her purse. I gently plucked the keys out of her hand, unlocking and opening the door for her.

"Uh, thanks." she looked up at me in surprise.

"Sugar, I'm nearly 150 years old. So sue me if I'm a little old fashioned." I shrugged my wide shoulders as I followed her inside.

I knew stepping through that door was going to be the most important test of my control in the past two years. Before I could venture to far inside the diminutive space I took a deep breath, inhaling her scent that was so much stronger in this space that was exclusively hers. I felt…….nothing, well almost nothing. There was a slight burn in my throat, so mild that it wasn't even enough to trigger the venom that so often accompanied a concentrated human scent.

"You ok Jasper?" a note of concern in her voice

"I'm perfect." I flashed her a wide grin, beyond relieved and elated that my initial immunity to the scent of her blood hadn't been a fluke. I stepped further inside, softly closing the door behind me.

"Have a seat" she gestured to the overstuffed sofa, heaped with colourful throw pillows. "I need a human moment, make yourself comfortable." She slipped through the door leading to what I presumed was her bedroom.

Lowering myself onto the soft Bella scented sofa I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as I reflected on how much my life had been altered in just a few short hours tonight. There was no way I'd be able to walk out of here tonight and have things go back to how they were before she stumbled back into my life. Walking away from her again was just not going to be an option.

"If I didn't know better I'd swear you were sleeping Jazz." I'd never realized how addicting it was to hear her laugh.

And there she was. The Bella of my memories standing in front of me. Dressed in green flannel pyjama pants and a matching tank top; her face scrubbed free of makeup; her mantle of hair hanging in waves down her back, this was the Bella I remembered so clearly.

"Come sit." I cocked my head to the empty space beside me.

She sat on the couch, turning her body towards me. Tucking her legs up to sit Indian style she hugged a bright purple throw cushion to her chest.

"So where do we start?" The humour having vanished from her voice.

"In my experience the beginning is the best place. If you don't mind Bella I'd like to start." There was so much I needed to tell her, to explain.

"Not a bit, I'm all ears." her voice was soft, her eyes focused on me

"I know you don't blame me for what happened at your party Bella but for the longest time I blamed myself." I put up my hand to stop her from interrupting.

"After Emmett and Rose dragged my ass outside it didn't take long before I was hit with the largest dose of self loathing I'd ever experienced. Bella, I considered myself the worst kind of monster for what I tried to do to you. You had only ever shown me kindness. What made it even worse was that you'd trusted me. I had never even felt fear directed at me from you. It amazed me because fear is usually the first reaction I provoke in humans. Even in the midst of it all, when I was fighting to get to you I felt very little fear or anger coming from you. Do you know what I felt in place of that fear and anger?"

She lightly shrugged her shoulders, drawing her lower lip between her teeth.

"Compassion, concern; sadness…….but almost no fear and absolutely no anger. What astounded me even more was that those emotions were all aimed at me. You felt compassion and concern for me. The monster that was doing his damnedest to end your life."

Bella's eyes were soft as she explained. "I knew you didn't mean to do it Jasper. Besides how could I be angry at you for acting on instinct, I was always aware of the possible danger I'd placed myself in." She rested a hand on my leg in comfort as I continued to speak.

"I've never been one to make excuses for my actions or lay the blame on what I am. After all, look at Carlisle. He is control incarnate. For the longest time I shouldered the blame for what happened that night and the chain of events it set off, regardless of what my family told me."

"Jazz did you ever stop to consider that other's played their own role in what happened that night?" Her insight surprised me.

"Yeah darlin' I have, and I'm getting to that." I assured her

"For decades I'd been the weakest link in the Cullen family. Admittedly at first I did struggle intensely with the blood lust. The vast majority of the time I'd spent in this life I'd fed on humans. That though is a story for another time." I anticipated a negative reaction to my admission instead Bella continued to convey only feelings of compassion and interest.

"You need to understand that for my kind, ceasing the consumption of human blood and adoping a vegetarian lifestyle is not the same as say a human deciding they are no longer going to eat meat. It's more comparable to a drug addict deciding they are going to abstain from their drug of chose. Human blood doesn't just sustain our kind, it alleviates a burn that cannot be snuffed out any other way."

"Edward once told me that my blood was like an addiction to him, his own personal drug." she offered

I nodded. "Yours more so than any other for him Bella, you are his singer. Your blood sings to him, the fact that he was able to resist the temptation of your blood at all is indeed a testament to his control." I had to give my brother kudos for the restraint he'd shown.

"My control however was limited for sometime and I had many slip-ups. As time went on my control did in fact increase to the point that I could interact fairly well with humans. However, my family never did seem to have faith that I could continue toresist. If I so much as thought about feeding from a human Alice would have a vision of it, and Edward would read the thought in my mind. It was pointless trying to explain to them that even though I may have indeed thought of drinking from a human,; fantasized about it even, it did not automatically translate into me acting on those thoughts. I believe it was a combination of my past coupled with this fact that cemented their doubts. After some time I reached a point that I doubted my own control and unfortunately allowed my family to dictate who I could be around, how often I should hunt; and the like. Soon it became a question of not if, but when I would slip-up again. Ever hear the term self-fulfilling prophecy? Well sugar that was me in a nutshell." I paused, allowing Bella to absorb everything I was telling her.

"Jazz…" she began, her voice gaining strength as she continued. "Many times I thought the same thing. I wasn't blind to how they seemed to hover whenever you were among humans, especially me. It often confused me as to why they thought your resolve to share their lifestyle was so weak. I've seen a vampire look at me like their prey." Bella shuddered, remembering I'm sure the clearing where we'd played baseball and how James and his companions had looked at her when they'd discovered she was a human.

"You never looked at me that way." she asserted

"I swear Bella, I never saw you that way. I'm sure you are wondering how I can say that after trying to attack you but please believe me when I say I never saw you as, well as food. Carlisle being the exception, one thing with my kind is that when we smell fresh exposed blood we want it. Those, like my family that have years of practise at resisting the pull generally can. Imagine though wanting something to the point that you have to use every ounce of control you possess to refuse the temptation, then multiply that by five." Five, the number of others in our home that night tempted by Bella's blood. They had been able to diffuse the temptation her blood had been to them but not before i'd felt their combined blood lust.

I could see understanding dawning on Bella's face, her eyes widening at the implication. "They all wanted my blood that night didn't they Jasper,? Except Carlisle that is." Her voice was but a whisper. "Being an empath not only did you have to fight to control your own blood lust, but also that of the others being projected around you. Oh my god, and the sheer magnitude of blood lust you must have felt from Edward himself" Tears formed in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. "I'm so sorry, I never even realized how horrifically impossible it must have been for you to even try to resist."

With a gentle sweep of my finger tips I wiped away the tears that had started to slip down Bella's cheeks. "Don't cry sweetheart." I picked up her hand that was resting on my leg and placed it in mine, gently rubbing the thin skin of the top of her hand with my thumb.

"What happened after that night Jasper? What made you leave them, leave Alice?"

I struggled with how to make her understand how I'd walked away from my family, and my marriage. "Please understand Bella, the night of your 18th birthday was not the whole reason for why I left. It was an accumulation of many things over a long period of time. Alice and I had begun to drift apart long before you even entered our lives. It wasn't that we no longer loved each other, quite the opposite in fact. A part of me will always love her, she saved me Bella. She brought me to this life, and to those that are now my family. I wasn't in love with her though, and Alice wasn't in love with me. If I'm being completely honest we never really were in love. It was more for the the sake of comfort and companionship that we stayed together as long as we did. Alice and I talked at length about our relationship after Edward decided we were leaving Forks." I saw Bella cringe as my voice trailed off. "I'm sorry darlin', I can see how much it pains you to hear that it was his decision."

"It's ok, really. I knew it was his idea. It's just the first time it's been confirmed." Bella hung her head, her free hand picking at a non-existent piece of fuzz on her pyjama pants. " Please continue Jasper."

"Did Edward ever explain to you how vampires mate for life Bella?" Her understanding of this fact was essential to her being able to accept why mine and Alice's marriage had ended.

"Somewhat, but not in any great detail." was her response.

"Alright well I'm sure you know that physically vampires cannot change or be altered." She nodded her head in the affirmative. "Because we are not so easily altered, when we fall in love it changes us in a way that little else can. We love intensely and except in the very rarest of occasions, only once. True mates, mate for life Bella and one will never willingly leave the other. This is why I say that Alice and I were never in love. She found me and we came to the Cullens together, it just seemed like the natural progression of things for us to stay together. At least until it was time for us not to. So when the family left Forks, I didn't go with them."

Memories of the night Alice and I had decided to end our marriage flooded my mind. It had been quite anti-climactic for the most part. For the first time in years Alice and I had been completely honest about our feelings. She'd of course had visions of our eventual parting but had thought as the years went on and neither of us had made any decision to part that they would eventually change. Jointly coming to the decision to dissolve our marriage had frankly been easier than telling the rest of the family. Carlisle and Esme had of course been saddened that the family they'd worked so hard to build seemed to be tumbling around them. Emmett had been angry at first, not being able to understand how I could leave Alice. In that way that Alice had about her, the little pixie had been able to make him understand. Edward had blamed himself, thinking that if he'd been able to resist bringing Bella into our lives the entire situation could have been avoided. He didn't, or couldn't understand that my almost attacking Bella hadn't caused Alice and I to make the decision to part, it had merely gave it the push it needed to finally occur. Remembering where I was, I allowed the memory to drift back to the recesses of my vast mind.

"Does any of this make sense to you?" Hoping I hadn't heaped to much on her

"Yeah it does, more than you know. It also explains why it seemed so easy for Edward to leave me. Like you and Alice, we were never meant to be forever." Bella shrugged almost casually, a pensive frown wrinkling her forehead.

"I'm sorry Bella." were the only words I had to comfort her.

"You know what? I always knew, in a way that we weren't meant to be and I've accepted and come to terms with his leaving. It took me a very long time but I did it." The pride she felt evident in her voice.

"I won't lie, when he left and took you all with him I died inside for a while. Everything that I was had been so wrapped up in him. I disappeared once he was gone. It felt like a giant hole had been ripped open inside of me, the part of me that he'd filled, that all of you had filled." her voice was almost void of emotion as she spoke.

Her beautiful face held a blank look, her eyes glazed as if in a trance as she told me about the time after we left Forks.

"I almost destroyed Charlie, he was out of his head worrying about whether I'd gone completely over the edge. I eventually started spending time with Jacob, you know my dad's friend Billy's son. From the reservation. Anyway I started doing the craziest things….."

A small smile flitted across her face. "Riding motorcycles with Jake, cliff jumping.."

I interrupted her. "You jumped off a cliff?"

"It was fun and besides, forgive me here because I'm going to sound like a complete whack job, but it was the only way I could hear him." Bella watched me intently presumably awaiting my reaction.

"Hear him?" I didn't completely understand what she meant by that.

"Like I said, I'm going to sound like a total loon. Whenever I would do something reckless I'd hear his voice, Edward's voice. It was him in typical Edward fashion telling me that what I was doing was dangerous. The day I jumped off the cliff was the last time I heard him." she explained

"Any idea why Bella?" I asked

"Many actually. You see my cliff jumping experience didn't go exactly as planned. Jake ended up jumping in to save me. He made me promise that the "evil knievel bullshit" was going to be a thing of the past." she made the symbol for quotes with the hand not enclosed in mine. "It was also the day that I became determined to take my life back, to stop living for Edward and begin living for me again."

"I wonder why Alice never saw any of this?" I mused aloud

"Maybe she just wasn't looking Jasper." I heard the resignation in her voice at what she believed to be true.

"It's not that simple darlin'. Once Alice is attuned to someone she can't just shut the visions off like a switch. I don't understand how she didn't see any of what you describe especially since you were making conscious decisions to do these things." This new development was troubling.

"I'm almost certain she's had at least one vision of me since you all left." Bella's voice was quiet and unsure

"Why do you say that?" I inquired.

Without a word Bell jumped up from her place on the sofa and walked into her room, returning seconds later with a folded sheet of paper in her outstretched hand. I took the white square from her hand, looking at her questioningly.

"Read it." she said simply as she resumed her place on the sofa.

I unfolded the paper, immediately recognizing Alice's elegant scrawl. I rapidly read through the letter before raising my eyes to Bella.

"How? Where did you get this Bella?" Wondering how and why Alice had finally made contact with her.

"You see Jazz, before I left Forks to move here I was finally at a place where I had reached a new level of acceptance when it came to Edward and your family. I had decided that I needed to say goodbye to him and your family before I could leave Forks and everything that had happened there behind me. I'd held onto you all so tight, afraid that If I didn't that even the memories would start to fade and disappear. It dawned on me though that I had to let go before I could leave Forks. The day I left I drove out to your house, it was the only physical reminder left of you all. Edward had made sure to take everything else with him." she paused as I felt a sense of melancholy settle over her.

"You don't have to continue Bella, I don't want you to have to experience all this sadness again." I reassured her.

"No, I'm good. Really Jazz, it's good for me to get this out. There has been no one I could talk to about any of this." she nodded her head, looking up at me through her lashes.

"If you're sure, carry on." I returned her hand back to my leg, embraced within my own

"Where was I? Right, the Forks house. Like I said I went there to say goodbye, to finally attempt to get a true sense of closure. To make a longer story somewhat shorter this letter was delivered to me there, along with a key to the house. Without a doubt I knew Alice had to have seen me going there."

"Did you get your closure Bella?" I was almost fearful that she'd decided she no longer wanted any of us in her life, and that this right now was just her final crack at putting it all behind her.

"I think so Jazz." her voice was so quiet, but I felt the sadness receding from her. "Actually I think I found a lot more than closure inside that house. For the first time in two years I allowed myself to remember the wonderful times I'd spent with all of you. The biggest test was going into Edwards room."

A slight smile was gracing her face and a sense of peacefulness almost. It was not the emotion I would have expected to be sensing from her. Did I want to hear this? As an empath I was quite aware of my own feelings, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to sit here and hear how she was still in love with Edward. What she said instead was something I was not expecting.

"In that room, surrounded by his things I had many self realizations." she rolled her eyes at me and grinned. "I know I sound like a 12 step program. Anyway, self-realizations." She took a deep breath before continuing. " I wasn't in love with him anymore Jasper."

Her admission stunned me to say the least but I said nothing, allowing her to continue.

"For so long I'd held so tight to my feelings for Edward, afraid that if I let them go that I'd forget him; that I'd have no proof that this perfectly beautiful boy had ever existed. I saw a picture of us all, taken in the clearing and it dawned on me that there was no way I could ever forget him. He was my first love Jasper, the one you never forget. But I was no longer that girl anymore, the girl that was in love with Edward left when he did. I found I was able to let both of them go, him as well as who I was when I was with him. I was able to start to look forward to my future, rather than dreading a future without him. Something that had been nearly impossible for me to fathom up to that point." Bella exhaled and seemed to pull herself up straighter, staring at me expectantly.

"I'm glad darlin', you deserve happiness." I was in awe of her strength, that she'd been able to face the demons haunting her and seek out her own form of absolution.

"The other thing I realized though Jazz was that everything I'd felt the past two years hadn't just all been about Edward. I'd loved, I still love your family like my own and it tore me apart thinking you had all just abandoned me so easily. Alice's letter changed that."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that Bella. I can assure you though that the family leaving you behind was by no means an easy decision for them, for me to live with. Of course no one would say anything out loud, but being an empath I had the inside track on how they were all dealing with it. Carlisle and Esme truly felt like they were losing a child. Emmett, he felt your loss as much as anyone. He truly considered you his little sister. Rose, well she was a bit trickier…."

Bella's pealing laughter interrupted me. "Oh Jazz, It's no secret Rosalie didn't care much for me. You don't need to sugar coat it."

A sheepish look on my face I shrugged. " Yeah well you know Rose." It was all I could offer in the way of an explanation. "Alice though, Christ but it tore her apart to leave you Bella."

"I miss her Jazz. For the longest time I tried to stay angry at her for leaving me without saying goodbye. It was easier not to miss her if I was mad at her. But then……" Bella's voice hitched with unshed tears. "I got her letter and it hit me all of a sudden how very much I miss her. Her words, assuring me of the families love helped to heal a large part of the tear inside of me." The smile on her face was radiant.

"Never doubt their feelings for you Bella, they were and are still very real." I felt the need to reassure her.

"Jazz….." her voice trailed off as she looked at me shyly. "You uh never said how you felt about leaving." She looked adorable. Looking up at me through her dark lashes; her lower lip back between her teeth, an obvious sign that she was nervous.

I placed one finger on her lip popping it out from between her teeth, lightly tracing the width of her lip with my thumb. Her heart started to beat erratically, her lips parting in a small gasp. It pleased me to no end to realize that the gasp had not been one of alarm.

"Not a day went by sweetheart, when I didn't wonder how you were. I knew better than any of the rest the true depth of your feelings for the family. I also missed the way you made me feel. You had faith in me Bella, I could feel it every time you looked at me. The control I now have over my blood lust is in no small part because of you. Whenever I would struggle I would think of you, wanting to be the kind of being you thought me to be."

Tears pooled again in Bella's eyes but I could sense no sadness. Contentment, was the dominant emotion radiating off of her.

"Thank you Jasper for this, you have given me something no house, no letter, no amount of closure could. You've given me peace."

I watched her move towards me tentatively. Apparently her vampire etiquette returning as she sat up on her knees in front of me. Her eyes travelled over my face, studying my demeanour as she leaned forward and oh so gently wrapped her warm little arms around my neck. I sat still as stone as she buried her face in the space between my neck and shoulder. Gentle puffs of her breath warm against my cold skin. My stone like arms wrapped around her, tenderly pulling her onto my lap.

Never in my existence had something felt as amazing as holding Bella in my arms. The heat from her body warming me to the core. With her heart beating against where mine used to, I could almost imagine that it was my own heart beating in tandem with hers. I buried my face in her thick curls, breathing in the sweet scent of strawberries. Without a doubt I knew that the magnificent girl in my arms was what I'd spent my existence waiting for. The depth of what I was feeling for her wasn't what had me stunned, after all it was natural for my kind to experience swift and intense all consuming love once they'd found their mate. No, what had thrown me was that I was having these feelings for Bella and why they had taken until seeing her again tonight to surface rather than two years ago. I knew I would have to proceed with caution, humans didn't experience love the same way we did. It was rarely instantaneous for them the way it was for us.

"Bella….." my voice had taken on a deep huskiness

"I feel it too Jasper." she whispered. I was astounded that she'd been able to anticipate what I was feeling. That was supposed to be my gift.

Raising her head so that our faces were level she murmured, "I'm frightened though." The guilt she was giving off was palpable.

I took a deep breath my body didn't need waiting for her to continue.

"I'm not frightened of you, I swear!" her wide eyes begging me to believe her, and I did. I couldn't sense her focusing any identifiable fear in my direction.

"It's just everything is happening so fast Jazz. When I woke up this morning the very last place I expected I would be tonight is in your arms." Her voice held a note of awe.

I loosened my hold around her, allowing my arms to drop so that I was barely cradling her warm body against mine. It was not my intention to bring her discomfort.

"Please don't give up Jasper, I want this." She curled her body in closer to mine. "I'm just going to need time, can you give me that?"

"Baby, I have all the time in the world." I answered with a grin, elated that she wasn't pushing me away and wasn't telling me this was never going to happen. The humour was not lost on me that considering my mortal age, I'd never had to experience the doubts that can accompany the beginnings of a new relationship.. With Alice, it had merely been an understanding that we'd be together.

"Could we you know, spend time together; get to know one another better maybe? Her timid question served to further my joy at tonight's events.

"Anything you need darlin'. I know that everything that's happening tonight has occurred at such a rapid pace it's gotta be difficult to wrap your mind around it all." I understood her need to proceed with some degree of caution.

"I don't mean to hurt you with what I'm about to say…" her eyes full of remorse already for her yet to be said words. "It's not that I doubt what I'm feeling, but considering my history I need to know."

"Know what Bella? Baby you know you can tell me anything, ask me anything." I didn't even attempt to manipulate her emotions to make it easier for her to say what she obviously needed said. It was her own feelings I wanted her to be leading with, not whatever of mine I might project on to her.

"I need to know that what I'm feeling for you is genuine, and not just a reaction to you; to a member of your family being back in my life." She tucked her chin into her chest, her voice shaking with the effort to say the words she feared would hurt me.

"Oh my sweet sweet Bella." I chuckled, placing a finger under her chin to raise her face back up to where I could look upon her beauty with new eyes. "You have no need to feel bad for wanting to be sure before giving me your heart. I'd expect no less from you. Like I said, we can take this as slow as you need. I'm not going anywhere." I couldn't blame her for the doubts I knew her to be feeling after the way Edward, after the way we'd all walked away and left her alone to deal with the aftermath of being part of our world.

Using my chest for leverage she pushed herself slightly back. "So, Jasper...... for now…..friends?"

"Of course sweetheart." If I had a heart I'm sure it would have been bursting out of my chest. "Just one more thing though." I paused watching expectation light her features, her eyes slightly narrowed, her lips pursed in an almost pout.

I laughed out loud at her expression, I'm positive she was wondering what else I could possibly have to say after all that had been confessed and declared tonight.

"Don't look so serious little one, I just want to wish you a happy birthday." It finally being the right time to let her know that I had indeed realized what today was. Tilting forward I allowed my lips to barely ghost over hers. The last thing I heard before I felt Bella's hands grip my shirt and her lips crush against mine was a surprised gasp escaping those very same pillow soft lips.

A/N: Remember........you are not allowed to kill the author! I will update hopefully by tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

All the usual disclaimers......Everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer

A/N - Updates may be a little slow in coming through the week. I was on holidays half of last week, which is why the updates happened so quickly. Unfortunately I'm back at work this week, but I will try my best to get a chapter out at least every other day.

**BPOV**

"Don't look so serious little one, I just want to wish you a happy birthday." The smile on his face was dazzling. My eyes widened as he leaned forward, his cool lips barely touching mine in a brief kiss.

A faint sigh escaped from my lips, the taste of his honeyed breath intoxicating. Without warning it was like a dam had broke inside of me. I fisted my hands in his t-shirt, seeking his lips with my own. Jasper's arms tightened around me, pausing only a moment before reciprocating what was gearing up to be the most intense kiss of my life.

Jasper's mouth angled against mine, lips moulding together. I opened my mouth, tracing his lower lip with the tip of my tongue. Opening his mouth, his wintry tongue gently caressing mine before seeking entrance. I felt his embrace loosen moments before feeling his long fingers tangle in my curls.

A tightening low in my belly intensified as he moved his lips to the corner of my mouth, his breath fanning my flushed face. Soft kisses trailing down my chin, to my neck. His nose nuzzling the sensitive area behind my ear while he continued to place moist kisses on my overheated skin.

Oh my god, I'd never in my life been kissed so thoroughly. Was he for real? Undeniably gorgeous, with the physique of a god; the deep timber of his voice that made you feel like you were wrapped in the warmest of embraces; not to mention the completely delicious southern accent that had the power to make my knees buckle and now to find he's also an amazing kisser. These only scratched the surface of all of Jasper's qualities. I wondered if I should pinch myself, or him for that matter to make sure this was all real, and not just wishful thinking. Suppressing a giggle at the thought of trying to pinch the vampire peppering soft kisses along my throat, I felt Jasper still. Of course he'd have felt the sense of hilarity I was feeling at the wayward direction of my mind.

"Darlin' that is not exactly the response I hope to illicit when I kiss a woman." Jasper chuckled, raising his head; his caramel eyes full of mischief "If I didn't know better Bella, I'd think I was losing my touch. " A cocky grin planted on that oh so sexy mouth of his.

"If you didn't know better? Oh…ohhhh." My face flamed as it dawned on me that he would have been able to smell just how much his kisses had affected me.

"Baby, don't be embarrassed. I love it that I can turn you on." His cool fingers tracing down the side of my face combined with the husky timbre of his voice causing me to shiver.

"Cold darlin'?" One eyebrow arched, a triumphant expression gracing his face.

"Jasper." I all but growled in warning, feeling the flush flame brighter in my cheeks.

"Bella you are unquestionably good for my ego." He laughed as he drew me close to his chest, his solid arms once again wrapped around me. "Besides, my fragile ego needed the boost after your "cute" comment earlier."

I didn't even attempt to suppress the laugh that burst forth. "Awww did the big bad vampire not like being called cute? And fragile? Really Jazz, isn't it an oxymoron to put you and fragile in the same sentence?"

"Really though Bella? Cute? Vampires are never cute." Jasper's tone was full of mock indignation.

"Don't be absurd Jazz, look how cute you're being right now." His teasing growl setting me off into a fit of giggles.

"Well I guess i'll just have to convince you i'm a scary vampire then huh?"

Before I could even consider a comeback I was on my back, my arms pinned above my head in one of Jasper's strong hands. His muscular body held tense, straddling my hips.

"Not so cute anymore huh?" There was a gleam in his eye as his free hand touched the exposed skin where my shirt hand ridden up leaving my midriff exposed. Cold fingers traced icy circles around my navel before trailing to the sensitive dip just above my hip. My teeth bit down on my lower lip that I'd sucked between them as every nerve ending in my body came alive under his touch and a warmth grew between my legs.

This Jasper was certainly not cute, he was however sexy as hell.

Jasper hung his head as a throaty groan rumbled up and out of his chest. "Darlin' I may be having no trouble resisting your blood, but your hot little body is another matter entirely. If we keep this up I'm afraid I'm gonna have a hard time giving you that time you asked for."

Pulling away he stood, offering his hand to help me sit up from my prone position. I knew he was right, of course he was right. However, old doubts caused the familiar feeling of rejection to pour over me. How many times had Edward pushed me away for my own good? I wrapped my arms around myself in the protective gesture I'd adopted after Edward had left.

Crouching in front of me, Jasper made me look at him. His face was stern, his voice full of conviction. "I'm not rejecting you Bella. I want you, god but how I want you. This is going to happen." He gestured between us. "But....I don't want our first time together to happen this way. I want you to be sure that i'm who you want first."

"First time ever." I mumbled, hoping my admission would require no further explanation.

"You mean.....?"

I nodded shyly.

"Well I figured you and Edward...never...but........even since him.........no one?" Jasper's speech was fragmented as though the words were entering his mind faster than he could get them out of his mouth.

Shaking my head I whispered, "no one."

"Baby that's all the more reason for us to wait until you're certain. I'll promise you this though, if you decide that i'm who you want....." Jasper paused, his now dark eyes staring intently into mine. "Have no doubts that I will make you mine."

My pulse raced at the prospect of belonging to this amazing man in every way.

"Alright darlin' I think a change of subject is overdue." Jasper lowered himself to the sofa again, lounging casually beside me. I felt a wave of calm and contentment sweep over me courtesy of the man beside me

"Thanks Jazz, I think I needed that."

"My pleasure sweetheart."

Jasper wrapped me in the fuzzy throw blanket that had been draped over the back of the sofa to ward off the chill of his body before tucking me close to the side of his body. I felt nothing but comfort in his presence. We talked about nothing and everything. I filled him in on the happenings in Forks over the past couple of years. Telling him about how Mike and Jessica had broken up over the summer...again and how according to Jess it was "for good this time." I told him how Charlie had finally decided to quite pining for Rene and was now dating Sue Clearwater. We reminisced about old times, laughing at how the Cullen brothers had taken great enjoyment in torturing Mike Newton. It didn't escape my notice that the memories for once weren't accompanied by a sense of longing , only fondness for the family I'd embraced as my own.

Jasper had actually seemed shy when he'd inquired about my plans for the rest of the weekend. With a confidence I wasn't sure I felt I'd replied. "Spending it with you." His answering grin had confirmed my plans for the next two days. I wasn't at all shocked when he'd confessed to swiping my phone earlier, when I'd taken my human moment in order to program his number into mine, and mine into his.

It seemed like hardly any time had passed at all before I was yawning, my head lolling against Jasper's shoulder as I fought back the exhaustion. I wasn't ready for tonight to end yet.

"Darlin', it's late. One of us needs to sleep and it's not me."

"Suuuuure you're not. So that wasn't you that has spent the last ten minutes yawning more than talking? Nevermind that you're starting to resemble one of those dashboard bobble heads the way your pretty little head keeps drooping then bouncing back up." Jasper chuckled as I pouted. "Besides sugar you can't pull one over on an empath, with what I'm feeling from you I'm surprised I'm not sleeping."

"Fine fine....I'm tired! Happy?" I knew I was being petulant.

"More than you know Bella. And not just because you've decided to stop arguing with me."

Deciding to carry on with the petulant route, I unceremoniously stuck my tongue out at the gorgeous being beside me.

"So cute when you're cranky." he laughed, his twinkling as he teased me.

"You can walk me to the door Miss Cranky Pants." Jasper stood, pulling me up off the sofa with him.

"I am not cranky." I'm positive he was waiting for me to stomp foot for effect.

"Uh huh." was his only response, but I could see the smirk he was trying to suppress out of the corner of my eye.

"So you'll give me a call tomorrow once you and McKenna are done playing twenty questions?"

I groaned, knowing my well meaning friend was going to bombard me with questions about tonight. Then it hit me like a Mack truck. "Oh my god, McKenna! I left her Jazz, I left her with a vampire; that eats humans." Panic saturated me in a cold sweat.

"We don't technically eat our prey Bella."

"Jasper! So not helping! Please, some of your calming mojo would be more helpful than telling me you don't technically eat your prey!" My breaths were quick and shallow, on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Baby, Peter didn't hurt her. I heard her come in about an hour ago." Jasper was quick to assure me, waves of calm settling over me.

"Besides, McKenna is perfectly safe with him; he's has very specific criteria for his prey. She was probably safer with him tonight than any other man in there. Char would rip his arms off and beat him with them. They may have a rather open marriage however it does not extend to bedding humans."

My overtiredness must have been getting the best of me when an image of Peter, sans arms flashed through my mind.

"Ok now that we have that settled it's time for me to go hunt, and you to get some rest."

As he lowered his head, I closed my eyes hoping I was going to be able to experience his cool lips on mine again. Instead I felt him ever so lightly press them to my forehead.

"Goodnight my Bella, sweet dreams." He whispered against my ear and then he was gone.

* * *

"Knock, Knock." McKenna's cheerful greeting preceded her through the door. "I'm here to collect my coffee, and I expect it to be served with details."

"Details?" My head popped around the corner of my bedroom doorway, hoping in vain that if I played dumb she wouldn't press. I knew my efforts would be in vain, but a girl has to try.

"Give me a break Bella, I know he was still here with you, so spill!"

"Why do you assume there is anything to spill?" Trying and obviously failing miserably to keep the blush out of my cheeks.

"Ha! I knew it!" She shrieked.

"Do not jump to conclusions Kenna, it's not nearly as juicy as your deviant mind is hoping."

"Are you kidding? Anything to do with a man that looks like him is juicy. He is absolutely fuckable."

"Kenna!!"

"What? Have you not taken a good look at him Bella?"

Conjuring a picture of Jasper in my mind I couldn't deny that he was something to behold. Messy blond curls, his ever changing and always so expressive eyes; straight nose, strong square jaw with just a dusting of permanent stubble; and that was only all from the neck up. His body was a work of art, tall and lean; ripped with muscles without being bulky; long legs. I had to agree with McKenna that he was sort of yummy. Who was I kidding, he was absolutely delicious.

"Of course I've looked at him. He's more than just his appearance though Kenna. Jasper is...." I hesitated.

"Jasper is?" McKenna prompted me to finish

"He's special."

"Oh my god, you should see your face! Bella sweetie, you've got it bad for that man."

"I do not." I denied, lying through my teeth.

Raising an eyebrow McKenna gave me _the_ _look_. "Bella." She said sternly.

"Ok so I maybe have it a little bad."

"Fucking awesome!" She clapped her hands in excitement.

That was McKenna, always so eloquent.

"So I'm assuming that last night turned into a tad more than you just catching up with your ex's brother?"

"Hmm, yeah. More, definitely more."

"Wow, descriptive Bella." Her sarcasm was duly noted.

I wasn't used to spilling "juicy details". The only real close girlfriend I'd ever had before McKenna was Alice. Although I'm sure Alice would have relished the idea, it would have been awkward for me to dish on her brother, not like there had been a lot of juicy details where Edward was concerned. We hadn't had the most physical of relationships.

"Sorry, this is weird for me."

"What's weird for you? Spending half the night with one of the finest men on the planet, or telling me about it?"

"Umm, both?"

McKenna's laugh echoed through the room. "Uh huh, I can see you're going to make me work for this."

"Alright Bella, you sit." she pointed to my sofa. "I'll ask the questions, you just have to answer." McKenna was in full on Law student mode.

"Fine, I'll play along. Only because I know you will not quit until you break me." I had to laugh at the disgusted look she gave me. "Don't worry Kenna, it's what's going to make you a most excellent Lawyer."

Walking back and forth across the width of my living room, McKenna had her hands clasped behind her back, a rather serious expression on her face.

"Kenna, can you stop that please. Feels like I'm being interrogated."

She giggled. "Sorry sweetie, guess I was getting into the part a little to much."

"You think?" It was my turn to be sarcastic.

"Ok, Ok I'll sit." She rolled her eyes dramatically, flopping onto the sofa beside me.

"Go ahead and ask your questions Kenna." The girl looked absolutely ready to burst.

"Alright, first question. Did he explain the whole ex-wife thing?"

"He did and it's all good. They're separation was amicable. They're still quite close friends. We talked about quite a few things in fact. Him and Alice, myself and Edward; his family. The air was cleared of a few misconceptions."

"Like?"

"Long story Kenna. Everything happened in another time and place. They aren't important anymore."

"Ok, moving on then. Question number two. Did you happen to discuss the mounds of sexual tension oozing off the two of you at the club last night."

Running my fingers through my unruly curls I took a deep breath, nodding my head.

"Do tell, do tell." McKenna was almost bouncing in place.

"Well......it's kind of complicated." Complicated was a mild word for mine and Jasper's situation. Being involved romantically with a vampire was more than a little different than dating your average everyday guy. The intensity alone was mind blowing, nevermind some of the life changing perhaps life ending decisions that have to eventually be made.

"How so?" McKenna cocked her head to the side

"We uh, well we discussed the obvious mutual attraction. He wants to pursue it."

"No way, really?" She squealed. "What's so complicated about that?"

"I told him I need some time to decide." I figured spitting it out was going to be the best course of action.

"You turned him down? Are you insane?" There was that shriek again.

"Settle Kenna! I didn't turn him down. I simply told him I needed some time to sort out my feelings."

"And just how did he take that bit of news?"

"Fine, better than fine really. Jasper was one hundred per cent supportive." I assured my friend who I'm certain was ready to have me committed.

"So what's going to happen now?"

"We're going to spend time together, date I guess." All the human terms just seemed so inadequate.

"That's wonderful! See I knew you had it in you Bella."

"Glad you did, because this is all rather surprising to me. I'm still feeling a little shell shocked at it all."

"I think you tow will make a wonderful couple." I appreciated the reassurance she was giving me. "But Bella, is it going to be weird for you that he's still close to his ex-wife?"

"Why would it? Alice is amazing Kenna, I wish you could meet her. You sort of remind me of her. Not that you look anything alike, Alice is tiny with this crazy black hair that spikes at will." I couldn't help the wishful smile that formed on my lips, thinking about her. "But your personalities, it's uncanny how similar they are. I honestly think I would be more upset if they weren't still close. It's complicated Kenna. Their family would have been beyond devastated if their parting had been ugly."

"As long as you're sure you're good with it, that's all that matters. Now tell me, is he a good kisser." It never ceased to amaze me how she could switch gears like that.

"Kenna! What makes you think I'd have the answer to that?" Once again failing miserably at attempting to play dumb.

"Bella..." She admonished me.

"Alright, alright.....Kenna....he is phenomenal." I admitted "Never in my life have I been kissed like that."

"Never, as in ever?" She seemed doubtful. "Was little brother not a good kisser?"

"Edward was, well he was somewhat old fashioned." It wasn't all false, he had been quite old fashioned. Besides, it's not like I could tell her he was to afraid of losing control and draining me of my blood to properly kiss me.

"Are you going to see each other soon?"

"This afternoon." Nothing could have erased the wide smile off of my face. Ever since I'd opened my eyes this morning I'd been anticipating seeing him again. "I'm supposed to give him a call once I'm free."

"What the hell are you waiting for? Go get yourself ready to go and call him already!"

"Uh I kind of thought I was ready to go." I looked down at the jeans and simple pink fitted t-shirt I'd

decided to wear, it was warm but overcast so I imagined Jasper would want to be outside. "What's wrong with what I have on?"

"Bella, Bella, Bella." McKenna shook her head

"No, no way you are not playing Bella Barbie with me. What I have on is just fine. Jasper is sort of the outdoorsy type and I want to be comfortable."

"I suppose you know him better than I do, so I'll back off; this time. Now call him!"

"Are you that anxious for me to ditch you again?" As wonderful as last night had been with Jasper I was still feeling incredibly guilty. "I am really sorry about that McKenna. You invited me out and I left you there, with Peter no less. Did he play nice at least?"

"It was nothing Bella, I didn't mind at all. Peter was a perfect gentleman, and completely immune to my charms." Her bow shaped lips formed into a pout. "Now quit trying to change the subject, and call him!"

"Anyone ever tell you that you are amazingly bossy Kenna." I laughed

"Yep." she popped the p.

McKenna reached past me to the end table, grabbing my phone she tossed it at me. "Call him."

Pressing the speed dial that Jasper had saved his number under I held the phone to my ear, butterflies erupting in my stomach as I waiting for him to answer.

One ring....

Two rings......

"Hi Darlin." Jasper's deep accent purring in my ear flooded me with warmth.

McKenna's earlier words replayed through my mind......Bella sweetie, you have it bad for that man.......Oh do I ever!

A/N - Next chapter will have alot of Jasper/Peter and an answer to almazuna18's question about why Peter reacted the way he did.


	10. Chapter 10

All Character and all things Twilight belong to the ever talented Stephanie Meyer.

A/N - For whatever reason I found this chapter very difficult to write. I was hit with writers block on more than one occasion. Still not sure if I'm completely happy with it.

**JPOV**

Leaving Bella tonight was as difficult as I'd anticipated it would be. However, I had promised her I'd give her time and I fully intended on keeping that promise. I hadn't left her immediately though. After saying goodnight I'd stayed near her apartment listening as she'd readied for bed, leaving only once I could sense that she had indeed fallen asleep. I almost convinced myself that I'd stayed after she thought me gone to ensure she was safe and secure in bed, but it was pointless to deny that I just wanted to prolong being near her.

Hunt....I did need to hunt. Bella's blood had barely if at all been a temptation for me tonight and it was essential that I ensure it stayed that way. The only possible way to accomplish this was by hunting frequently, even if it meant being away from Bella. I couldn't even fathom the alternative. Hurting her was out of the question, there's no way I would survive if I did.

Hunting near New Orleans was somewhat trickier than it had been in Forks, or Alaska. The dense population made the need for stealth much more essential. As luck would have it, Peter and Char had purchased a rather considerable amount of land close to Lake Pontchartrain decades ago. They had enclosed much of the property in an imposing fence, ensuring they would be no trespassers. I was able to hunt close to home in relative obscurity, unless I was itching for a some big game and a challenge. During those instances I generally ran north to Arkansas, the vast amounts of wooded areas alleviating the worry of detection.

Tonight however, would be a quick hunt close to the house. Peter's reaction to my leaving with Bella tonight had been odd even for Peter and I needed to speak with him about it. Char and I may have teased him about having a definite Yoda complex, but the guy did seem to just know shit.

Pulling up to the security gate I keyed in the code, revving the engine of the powerful bike beneath me before accelerating down the winding road that lead to the expansive ranch style house where Char and Peter lived, as well as the turn off to the smaller cottage I mainly only used when I wanted to be alone. Avoiding the main house for now I took the turn off, parking my bike in front of the log cottage.

Cottage was probably not an apt description for the structure. Two stories, constructed completely of logs it contained a living room decked out with all the technology I would need to keep me entertained; Emmett would be in heaven. For whatever reason there was a also a kitchen, complete with appliances I never used for obvious reasons. The most impressive room was the master suite that dominated the second story. The room was distinctly masculine, the furniture all dark mahogany; from the massive chest of drawers to the king size bed. An ensuite bathroom contained a glass enclosed shower and round bathtub I'd yet to get any use out of. When I'd discussed relocating nearer to Peter and Char they had insisted that I would have a home with them. I'd never anticipated that Char would design and have this haven built for me .

I took off on foot to the north end of the property where he tree coverage just beyond the wall of fence lent me all the privacy needed to hunt. The pickings would be slim, but the Whitetail Deer I was sure to find would alleviate my thirst even though they held no challenge for me. Before long I picked up the scent, increasing my speed until I was within distance to easily take down a few of the herd. After consuming my fill I decided to take my time getting back. Walking at a leisurely although not quite human pace. I thought of Peter and Char who I'm sure were waiting at the main house for me. I could anticipate how Peter was going to react to me pursuing a relationship with Bella, it was Char's reaction I couldn't be certain of.

Char reminded me of a more fired up Esme. She took great pleasure in designing the homes her and Peter had scattered throughout the country much like Esme. Her love knew no bounds and she was fiercely loyal to Peter and myself, her family. However, where Esme was generally the voice of calm and reason for her family; Char was the polar opposite. Piss her off and it was your ass. Peter had been at the receiving end of her wrath more times than either of us could count, generally throwing me under the bus to cover his own ass. I hadn't been exaggerating when I'd told Bella that humans were off limits to Peter as anything other than dinner. She insisted that it was because one shouldn't play with their food. Seeing though as they didn't prey on healthy, beautiful young women; her reasoning didn't hold a lot of weight. Peter and I both thought it had more to do with the inherent differences between human and vampires. Char could compete with any female vampire, the woman was a goddess; but how do you compete with something you're no longer capable of being.......and that was human. I didn't understand her reasoning considering the multitude of things we were capable of as vampires, but we all have our issues.

* * *

Fully prepared to receive a healthy dose of ball busting, I was instead met with by an uncharacteristically reserved Peter waiting for me on the rambling front deck of the main house. The cocky grin that so frequently graced his face, noticeably absent. Concern being the dominant emotion I was sensing from him.

"Alright Peter, talk. I'm listening." I knew beating around the bush with him was pointless.

"She's human Jazz."

"Stating the obvious Peter."

"You know she's your mate right?" Ok so he had my attention now.

"How? I mean, I know; but how do you?"

"Come on Jazz, you know as well as I do that I haven't the foggiest fucking clue how I know this shit."

" So if you knew, why the hell all the angst last night when her and I left together?"

"Shall we list all the ways that this could turn into a cluster fuck of epic proportions?"

I didn't want to hear this while still sailing on the euphoria of the night I'd had with Bella. In no way was I naive enough to believe this was going to be easy, that there weren't going to be enormous hurdles for us to tackle. "You don't think I've considered everything we're up against Peter?"

"I don't know Jazz, you tell me."

"Fine, she's Alice's best friend. I know Alice though and she loves Bella, and wants me to be happy. This is barely a concern."

"Ok, next." Peter's face etched in impatience

"The fact that Bella is human. She's fragile, extremely so; but we both know my control is better than it ever has been."

"What about the repercussions for both her and you of her being immersed in our world? Have you considered those?"

"Consider them? I've lived them Peter. This wouldn't be the first time that Bella has been a part of this world. I realize the dangers. Constantly keeping her safe from our own kind that would see her only as prey and not as my mate, avoiding the detection of the Volturi; maintaining my own control so that I don't myself become a threat to her safety; I know the risks Peter."

"So it seems." He conceded. "But what of ending her life Jazz? Is it something she'd even consider and what about you, are you willing or even able to comprehend the human you fell in love with becoming the vampire you'll spend your existence with?"

"She wanted it before, and if that's still the case then yes I'd change her when the time is right. I'd be lying if I denied loving some of her human qualities, but I would give them all up if it meant having her beside me forever."

Peter merely nodded. "So anything else make your list of considerations."

"Yes and it's the one obstacle almost on par with her humanity." This was the one challenge facing us that had the potential to derail everything, yet the only one I had no solution to. "My brother is still in love with her."

"And what of her feelings for him?"

"She says she's over him, I believe her Peter. Bella loves with her whole heart, if she was still in love with Edward she'd never be able to betray him."

"For your sake I hope you're right."

"You and me both. I have to trust how she tells me she feels, and being an empath has it's advantages in this instance. I could sense how she felt about me Peter, and I have few doubts that her feelings run as deep for me as mine for her. She has asked for time though to come to terms with it all and I cannot deny her this."

"Considering she's human, I could see how it would be overwhelming for her." Peter agreed. "Now back to Edward, what if he can't give her up?"

"He gave her up! Edward left her, and as much as I loathe to hurt my brother the repercussions of his actions are his to deal with." I would deal with Edward, and what was sure to be a situation capable of ripping my family apart when the time came. When it came right down to it, I would sacrifice anything and everything for Bella.

"Well Jazz I'm pleasantly surprised to see you've got this all sorted, for the most part."

"No worries Peter, I know what I'm getting myself into; and she's worth it."

"Sorry for going all big brother on your ass last night. I put the blame wholly on the limitations of my ability. I could see that you two were mated and was fairly certain you weren't about to turn her into a midnight snack. However, I couldn't quite determine if you would go into this with your eyes open, or stumble into it and find a way to fuck it up." Peter's large hand clapped me on the shoulder. "You get to break it to Char though that you bagged a human man, cos not even I'm that brave."

"Thanks for the encouragement asshole." We laughed together, all the earlier tension vanishing.

"You'd think that for as long as you two have been at this whole vampire thing, you'd remember that private conversations need to be taken far from the house if you're planning on keeping secrets." There in the doorway stood none other than Charlotte.

Her physical appearance would do little to incite fear, in anyone that didn't know her the way Peter and I did. She was barely over five feet tall, her features reminiscent of her Latin heritage; even the stark pallor shared by all of our kind wasn't enough to completely diminish the natural golden hue she had to have possessed before being turned.

"Now you've gone and pissed her off Jazz." Peter was obviously pleased to not be the culprit this time.

"Please explain to me my all knowing husband, why you would for a minute assume I would be anything but pleased that Jasper had finally found his mate?" Disappointment evident on Peter's face when Char levelled him with a gaze, ripe with disgust.

"She's human baby. Did you overhear that little morsel of information as well?" Was he actually whining?

"Of course I did and what does that have to do with anything? I think Yoda over here is losing his touch Jazz." She flashed a grin in my direction, clearly enjoying putting Peter in the hot seat.

Let me clarify so I understand this clearly." Pulses of irritation were rolling off of Peter. "I'm only permitted to drink from humans but not fu........"

"Peter!" Char's tone was sharp.

"........Yet Jasper here is allowed to mate with one and you're pleased?"

"Jasper is not married to me." Her reasoning was simple

Oh no, I could sense the irritation Peter had been feeling dissipate, and mischief take it's place. One or both of us was going to end up on the losing end of Char's wrath before this was over.

"Hey Jazz, wanna trade?" And there it was, the man had a death wish.

The resounding smack to Peter's head compliments of his loving wife cut off any retort I'd began to form as it was replaced with laughter.

"Ow! Woman that one actually kind of hurt!" Peter rubbed the back of his head where Char had connected.

"Exactly as it was meant to!" Char threw him a thunderous glare, then turned her attention on me. "Jazz, I am over the moon for you. After everything you've seen an experienced in this life, this existence .... You have more than earned the right to be happy, even with a human." Her tone was considerably softer.

"Thank you Char, it means a great deal that you feel that way." I was immensely relieved at Char's positive reaction.

"Once you and Bella are both comfortable with the idea, I would love nothing more than to meet her. It will be nice to have another woman coming around this house, what with the testosterone fuelled antics I have to put up with from you two." Her amused expression contradicting the annoyance she tried to convey at said antics.

"You will meet her soon." I promised.

"I met her last night." Peter must have felt left out of the conversation. "And let me tell you, she is magnificent." I ratified my previous assumption, deciding instead that he just enjoyed pain.

"And yet she only had eyes for Jasper." Char could give as good as she got, which was a large part of why she was perfect for Peter. "No wonder you're pissing and moaning, you Peter Whitlock are jealous!"

"Like hell I'm jealous"

"You keep telling yourself that big boy." Char winked in my direction. "I'll leave you men to your boy talk now, I'm heading into the city."

"What the hell for now?"

"To spend your money of course." She giggled as she dashed around the side of the house, adding insult to injury when she peeled down the long driveway in Peter's new Cadillac Escalade.

"Why do I stay married to her?" Peter grimaced.

"Because she puts up with you." I stated.

The truth of the matter was that despite the shit they seemed to heap on one another, they were truly and deeply in love. Although they would never admit it, there is no way that one would be able to live without the other.

"True enough." Peter sighed, a slight smile beginning to grace his features. Despite the earlier spectacle I could feel the affection he had for his wife. Although it didn't take him long to switch gears.

"Now that Char's gone I can ask you the real pressing question." He grinned lasciviously.

"And that would be." I frowned, dreading what Peter would consider a "pressing question.'

"Did you get into the little human's panties of course?" His brown brows were raised in question.

"We are not having this conversation Peter!" My growl was feral. This wasn't some random conquest we were discussing, this was my Bella. I wasn't about to demean what Bella and I had shared last night by reiterating the events to Peter.

"Jesus Jazz, why so uptight? We're brothers, this is the type of shit we're supposed to bond over."

"There is nothing to tell." I was succinct, leaving no question that this conversation was over.

"Fine, I'll back off. Besides, the only reason I ask is because you're covered in her scent. Must take a whole lot of nothing for it to smell like you've bathed in eau de Bella." Peter dealt me a self satisfied smirk.

"Oh for Christ sakes Peter, she's a virgin." I blurted, infuriated at his insinuations. "I wasn't about to take advantage of her, especially after she'd asked me to give her time to come to terms with her feelings. I promised her that we would only take things to that level once she was certain"

"Sorry man, I never realized.........I'm kinda surprised................she and Edward never............" It wasn't often you could shock Peter.

"No, they didn't and there has been no one else either."

"That's fucking wonderful news Jazz." More than a little taken aback at Peter's enthusiasm until he further explained his obvious glee. " It means that you and little Bella will have a bond she never had with Edward. Not only is she your mate Jazz, she will be only yours in every sense."

"So long as she decides that I'm who she wants Peter." The devastation evoked by the mere possibility that her decision could go another way was staggering in it's intensity.

"Whoa Jazz, reign it in. You're projecting. There is nothing to worry about. You are mated and that is never a one sided event. She will be yours in every way. Besides, have I ever steered you wrong before?"

He hadn't. Peter's gift was sporadic, and more a gut feeling or instinct than an extra sense. One thing his gift never was though, was wrong.

"There is something I don't quite get though. Why now, why did all the realizations of how we feel for each other materialize now and not when we first met, or the subsequent months after. How is it she is my mate now, but wasn't before?" I couldn't shake the doubts that these unanswered questions created.

"Obviously I don't know the exact answer Jazz. However I do have my suspicions." Peter paused for a moment, I'm sure only to prolong my misery before continuing. "It wasn't your time yet. Neither of you were prepared for all being mated entails, especially with your set of special circumstances. " His explanation made sense.

"But now we are? And now is our time?" I needed clarity.

"That's about it." Such a simple explanation really. "Isn't fate a bitch?" Jasper chuckled warmly.

If I were to pick any of the multitude of events that have occurred in my existence to curse fate for, bringing me Bella would not be one of them. In spite of the round about way we'd had to take to get to this point.

A/N - I apologize for any factual errors in regards to New Orleans, or Louisiana in general. I am researching as I go, so hopefully they will be minimal. Also the reviews have tapered off, although there are many still adding this story to their favourites. Please review as well, it lets me know if you like where things are going.


	11. Chapter 11

Everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, I just like pulling the strings occasionally.

A/N - Thank you all for the reviews and comments. I can assure those with questions about some of the plot such as Victoria/Laurent, etc that their questions will be answered soon.

**BPOV**

"Hi Darlin." Jasper's deep accent purring in my ear flooded me with warmth.

"Jasper." I could only sigh.

"All done with the inquisition?" He inquired with a playful laugh.

"Yeah, I think she's finished with me. For now anyway." McKenna ever the picture of maturity stuck her tongue out at me.

"So still on for spending the day together?" Jasper sounded hopeful.

"There isn't anything I would rather do." I answered him truthfully.

Before this morning I hadn't realized how I'd been looking at life. It had been just a series of days, the same as the one before, and destined to be identical to the one that would undoubtedly follow. Today, when I'd opened my eyes I had no idea what the day was going to hold for me, only that I was going to see him. I'd felt alive for the first time in much to long.

"Why don't I come there and we'll decide how we want to spend the day?" He asked.

"Sounds perfect, see you in a bit." What I'm sure was a goofy ass grin plastered to my face as I flipped my phone closed.

"He's on his way isn't he?" McKenna crowed. "I'm gonna jet sweetie. You don't need me hovering and I need to go save my pillows from Lenny drooling all over them." She made a face, imitating a gag.

"Kenna, you really didn't have to leave your uh....company." I told her.

"Of course I did, like I could have waited for the scoop. Besides, he is damn near comatose over there." She rolled her eyes. "Oh and you're right, I'm so beyond not finished with you yet. I expect a full report!"

"Maybe." I said noncommittally as I closed the door behind her.

* * *

You are not nervous I assured myself. You are not nervous. You are not nervous. I'd never been able to lie to myself with any real conviction. Who was I kidding, I was a wreck. But why? It's just Jasper...........again attempting to fool myself into believing something that was far from the truth. The truth was that this wasn't just Jasper, this was the man I couldn't get off my mind. He'd taken over my thoughts from the moment I'd seen him again. A soft knock at the door interrupted my reverie.

"C-c-come in, it's open." I instructed with more calm than I felt.

My internal ramblings rather than calming, took on a more frenzied pace, my heart frantically beating in rhythm with my thoughts. Bella chill I ordered myself, he'll know. My heartbeat, the nervous energy he would undoubtedly feel, even the smell of the adrenaline flowing through my body would all be a dead give away. Why couldn't I just fall in love with a nice, normal boy; rather than the all knowing, super sensing, emotion reading, ungodly beautiful kind. Whoa did I just think......fall in love......was I in love with Jasper?

"Baby? What's wrong, your heart is beating crazy fast and I can sense......anxiousness, some anxiety." Worry was etched on Jasper's face.

There he was, my all knowing, super sensing, emotion reading, Jasper - dressed in faded jeans, a muscle hugging white t-shirt under a green flannel shirt; sleeves rolled up revealing sculpted forearms and scuffed boots; his blond curls stylishly dishevelled. Could he be any more beautiful?

"God you're beautiful." My thoughts pouring out my mouth.

Jasper chuckled as he lowered his head. Positive he would be blushing if he could, much like I was doing right now.

"Uh um, sorry Jazz. Just kind of nervous I guess." I was mortified.

"No worries darlin', nothing to be nervous about. All the time in the world remember." His voice filled with patience, reassuring me. "Thanks for the um compliment by the way, but no one could be more beautiful than you." The door clicked shut as he walked towards me.

Damn he was good. Waves of calm, compliments of the god standing in my doorway settled over me; soothing my frazzled nerves and addled thoughts.

"Thank you...for the um beautiful thing, and the calming vibe thing."

"My pleasure sweetheart." That sexy swagger of his bringing him closer to where I was standing in the middle of the room, until my gaze was level with his muscular chest.

"I missed you." He whispered, wrapping his marble arms around me.

"Me too." I'd been craving the sight of him since he'd left last night. I was slightly amazed that I wasn't completely freaked out by it. Maybe coming to terms with these strange new feelings for Jasper was going to be easier than I'd anticipated.

"Bella...." I loved the way his velvet voice made my name sound. " I want to kiss you."

"Me too." I murmured.

Jasper laughed "Can you say anything other than me too?"

"Nuh uh." I shook my head no, gazing up at him; my eyes wide.

Still chuckling he lowered his head, moving his mouth ever so softly over mine. As our lips moved fluidly together, his hands cradled my hips while my I ran my finger tips up his chiselled abdomen to settle on perfect pectorals. My desire for Jasper rose rapidly as he nibbled and sucked gently at my lower lip. With a low groan he lifted his mouth from mine, as he cradled my body closer to his. Jasper's lips settled on my forehead as my own sought out his throat. My fingers sliding up his chest, over his wide shoulders, intertwining at the nape of his neck . I interspersed firm, closed mouth kisses with teasing sweeps of my tongue on his icy flesh. The fragrance and taste of his skin were exquisite.

"Darlin, that feels amazing." Jasper's lips moved against my forehead. "But baby, we need to stop." I could hear the regret in his voice.

"I'm not making this any easier on you am I?" I asked, referring to the condition I'd asked for that we take things slow.

"I can assure you, that just knowing I can touch you, or kiss you does actually make everything easier." His fingers cupped the side of my face, gliding down to rest under my chin. Raising my head, I was caught in his gaze. "You already know I can sense what you feel Bella, but when you turn those feelings into actions......I am reassured."

"Reassured?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

"Yes, reassured that you are not running from this, from us; but embracing it." He explained.

"Oh. Well ok then." I nodded in understanding. "So uhh why did we have to stop then?" A traitorous blush of course staining my already flushed cheeks a deeper red.

"Cos' baby I could spend forever kissing you." The fluttering in my belly intensified with his words. " And as much as I'd love to spend the day with you wrapped in my arms, the weather is co-operating today and I thought you might like to get out and see New Orleans." He continued.

Glancing outside I took notice that the day was overcast, making it possible for Jasper to be out and about amongst humans.

"I haven't had allot of time, or inclination to do much in the way of sigh seeing." I confessed. "Well other than the campus, and such."

"Then it would be my pleasure to help introduce you to some of what this amazing city has to offer."

"Jazz.......are we going to be taking your umm bike again." I was once again gripped with an attack of uncertainty, unsure if I'd be able to keep my libido in check if I was to spend the any length of time pressed up against Jasper's body.

Jasper laughed, no doubt sensing my emotions. "Silly Bella, no worries sugar. I brought a much more sedate form of transportation today."

I could only begin to imagine what he considered sedate. Considering my past experiences with vampires and their need for speed it was highly unlikely that sedate was an ample description for whatever form of transportation was awaiting us outside.

* * *

"I'm shocked Jazz...........a truck?"

"You were expecting something else?" He asked with a smirk.

"Umm just a little." I said truthfully.

Parked at the curb was a midnight blue Dodge Ram 1500. I was almost astonished that I could identify the make and model., seems my time spent at La Push watching Jacob pour over every car magazine he could get his hands on had paid off. What astounded me more was how "normal" a vehicle Jasper was driving. I'd expected, from past experience I suppose; something much more ostentatious. I suppose I should have known better, this was just one more aspect of the new Jasper that differed so much from the one of my past. There was so much different about him now that I was compelled to question if this was a whole new Jasper or just the real Jasper. I guess that would be part of the getting to know each other better.

Opening the door for me, he helped me into the truck. There were definite advantages to lacking in the height department if it meant having his hands on me every time we got in and out of the truck today. I watched him walk around to the drivers side, still not quite believing I was here, with him. Jasper, of course was the picture of grace as he effortlessly slid into his seat.

"So where to beautiful?" He turned his face towards me.

"Umm surprise me?" It was more a question than an answer.

"I seem to recall you not appreciating surprises." His golden eyes were somewhat wary even though there was a smile gracing his gorgeous mouth, almost as though his thoughts were conflicted.

"People change." I stated simply, shrugging my shoulders.

"Ok, so surprise you it is." He put the truck into gear. "Buckle up sweetheart." Jasper's deep laughter filled the cab of the truck.

As much as things change, some stay exactly the same. Jasper's obvious need for speed hadn't changed as much as the appearance of his truck had suggested.

* * *

Jasper drove through the streets of the Garden and Lower Garden Districts pointing out some of the more well known landmarks to me. Among a number of galleries including the Anton Haardt Gallery, he showed me the locations of The House of Broel and Grace King House.

"There is no way to see all of this city in a day, so I'll give you the abridged tour today." Jasper explained. "That way you can decide what interests you and we can see those in more detail another time." He reached across the space between us to entwine his fingers with mine.

"Sounds wonderful Jazz." I was elated, knowing that this was only the beginning. His words were beginning to chisel through the fear I had that this was something fleeting, liable to disappear at any moment.

"I meant it Bella. You are stuck with me for as long as you want me." Alright so maybe his being able to sense what I was feeling wasn't entirely a bad thing.

"Jasper, I can't imagine there ever being a reason I'd want you to go away." A cloudy look fleetingly passed over his handsome face at my words. "What is it?" I asked.

"Lets just say there are some things you don't know about me yet Bella, about my past; that may change your opinion of me." He looked..........sad.

"Never." I shook my head vehemently. "I don't care who or what you were before, I know the man you are now."

"I hope so Bella, I hope so." He whispered, gently applying pressure to my hand that was enclosed in his.

Soon Jasper was merging back onto the freeway, his seemed to lighten as he picked up speed.

"I will never get used to the way you all drive." I chewed on my lower lip as I referred to how him and the rest of the family always seemed to have a lead foot on the gas pedal.

Jasper laughed, but slowed down minutely.

"So next place you're surprising me with would be?"

"Really darlin', if I tell you doesn't that negate the surprise part?"

I rolled my eyes. His throaty chuckle causing a tingle to run down my body. Everything about him was quickly becoming an addiction to me. That thought alone scared me. Although I couldn't imagine not having him with me now, I didn't want to be the old me. The old Bella that would fall apart and lose herself if he vanished from my life again.

"Bella?" Jasper questioned, concern on his face; obviously feeling my slight panic.

"I'm fine Jazz, no worries. Just had a fleeting thought about something not important." I fibbed.

I would have to remember to keep my emotions in check around him, at least the ones I didn't want him to know about. This was all so new. With Edward my mind had been closed to him, I hadn't had to worry about what I was thinking. It still wasn't so much my thoughts I had to worry about, but the emotions they seemed to manifest.

"You're sure?" Worry and doubt dominating his features.

"Absolutely positive." I smiled, hoping it would reassure him.

I recognized the area of the city immediately that Jasper had brought us to, courtesy of all of the brochures I'd studied prior to making my decision to attend college in New Orleans. We were in the heart of the French Quarter.

"You approve." It wasn't a question.

"I love it!" I couldn't contain my glee. Truth be told, the thought of living amongst this kind of history and lore that was located in the French Quarter had been one of my deciding factors in choosing Tulane amongst all my other options.

The remainder of the afternoon was spent walking hand in hand through many of the streets of the French Quarter. We toured Bourbon and Royal Streets, where Jasper had my rapt attention as he regaled me with stories about New Orleans and the South in general from the time before he was changed, up until now. Before continuing on through Jackson Square we stopped for few moments to admire St. Louis Cathedral, I was in awe of the magnificent old church. Taking our time strolling around Jackson Square, Jasper continued with his historical tales of the Civil War.

"I knew you had to have seen so many things in your life, but I never realized...." My voice full of wonder.

"Realized what darlin'." Jasper led us to a bench, where we sat facing each other.

"I never realized that the things and places you've seen, that you've experienced first hand; I've only read about in history books. I know it shouldn't come as a shock to me, but I suppose I just generally don't see you that way." I tried to explain.

"Does it bother you Bella?" Jasper was suddenly serious.

"Bother me? Jasper no, it fascinates me!."

The relief seemed to ooze off of him. It really started to register with me that I was not the only one with issues and baggage coming into this relationship. Regardless of the confidence that this amazing man exuded underneath he felt his perceived inadequacies as deeply as I felt mine.

"Jazz......you're stuck with me too." I whispered, referencing our earlier conversation.

"Baby I wouldn't want it any other way." He answered back.

His lips touched mine in a soft kiss, before his arms closed around me pulling me close to his chest. With my face resting against where his heart used to beat, he settled his chin on the top of my head. "Bella, spend the rest of the weekend with me at my house."

"Just you and I?" I asked.

"Well.... Peter and Char have the main house on the same property but yes, otherwise just you and I." He stared at me intently as he continued. "Nothing will happen that you aren't comfortable with Bella. This isn't a ruse to rush your decision."

"Jazz......shhhh." I placed a finger against his lips to shush him. "I trust you, and I would love to spend the rest of the weekend with you, at your house."

A/N I know this is a short chapter but the next one will be much longer I promise.


	12. Chapter 12

All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephanie Meyer.

A/N - I know I promised a longer chapter but it just didn't end up that way. Due to the natural progression of the story this chapter was necessary to set up what will be coming up in the next and subsequent chapters.

**BPOV**

The nervousness I would have expected to feel when Jasper first asked me to spend the remainder of the weekend at his house didn't kick in until we were on the freeway headed to my little apartment.

"You're sure you don't mind me dropping you off at home to get your things?" Jasper asked.

It had been his idea to take me home so I'd have a chance to get what I what need for the weekend, and let McKenna know that I'd be away for a couple of days while he went and picked up a few things at the grocery store. He'd admitted that there wasn't a thing in his house fit for human consumption. I had attempted to insist that I could bring my own food, but as expected he'd declined.

"Of course I don't mind. Besides it will save you from Kenna's insinuations if you're not there when I fill her in on our plans." I cringed, already imagining my friend's reaction to our plans.

"I almost feel guilty making you face her alone." He chuckled as he parked next to the curb. "Promise I'll make it up to you though." He crossed over his chest.

"Oh and how do you propose to make it up to me Jazz?"

My imagination was getting away from me as I conjured up all the ways he'd be able to do just that. A feeling of warmth settled between my thighs at the direction of my thoughts and a blush heated my face. I knew Jasper would not only feel the increase in my desire, but smell the scent of my arousal.

"Chocolate of course!" The look on his face pure mischief.

"Tease." I mumbled as I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his before jumping out of the truck. Amazing myself when I didn't trip, stumble, or do an outright face plant in the process.

Jasper waited with the engine idling until I opened the creamy curtains in my living room to wave, assuring him I'd made it inside in one piece. After watching him pull away I darted back out my door to pound on McKenna's.

"Home so early? It's barely dark." McKenna exclaimed.

Could the girl never just say "hi" I silently wondered. Before I could get a word in she continued. No wonder she wanted to be a lawyer, she was exceptional at not letting anyone get a word in edge wise.

"Or is he here?........I mean in there." She whispered loudly, dodging and weaving to see around my form standing in her doorway.

"Kenna settle! He's not here. Now listen to me." My hands grasped her face on either side, forcing her to look at me. "I uhh need your help."

"With?" She stretched out the word.

The moment I was dreading......

"I'm umm staying at Jasper's for the rest of the weekend and I need you to keep an eye on my place." I tried to get the words out as fast as I could.

She......squealed. I rolled my eyes, already anticipating much of what was to follow.

"Oh my god! Seriously? Ok, we need to be calm." She took a deep breath.

Compared to her, I was as cool as a cucumber. And here I thought I was the one that was supposed to be freaking out. Like really, here I was about to go pack to spend the weekend with my new vampire boyfriend, the ex-husband of my vampire best friend, and also the brother of my vampire ex-boyfriend. Ok now I was freaking out. How is it that my life had ended up stranger than any work of fiction?

"Bella sweetie I have to grab something then I'll be right over to help you pack." McKenna shooed me back towards my door.

I headed straight for my bedroom after letting McKenna know I'd leave the door unlocked for her. Grabbing the essentials such as my toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, shower essentials; I threw them all into the purple backpack I pulled out from under my bed. Clothes, now just to pack clothes. I dug out a couple of pairs of blue jeans, as well as my most comfortable non-holy sweats and tossed them in the bag. Two fitted t-shirts in green and black along with my Tulane University sweatshirt and I was packed, with the exception of pyjamas and underwear. The two things I was having the hardest time packing. That was when McKenna came bouncing into my room.

Digging in my bag, she made low noises of approval. "Not taking underwear of pj's Bella?" She cocked an eyebrow at me suggestively.

"I can't decide." I knew I was whining.

"You can't decide if you're going to take underwear or pj's with you?" McKenna was obviously trying to hold back her laughter at my predicament.

"Kenna!" I scolded "I can't decide which ones to take. Besides, it's not like he's even going to see them."

"Wha- What?" McKenna asked flabbergasted.

"We're taking things slow." I explained feebly.

"Ok, let me get this all straight. You're spending what, one......two.....nights at his house?"

"Two or more, I don't have classes on Mondays." I confirmed.

"Alright, two or more nights at his house. The man looks like a god. You've already admitted that he kisses like one as well." She ticked the points off on her fingers.

"Uh huh." I nodded my head in agreement.

"Then Bella honey...." She paused, "I'd bet that charge card my daddy sent me last week, you know the one....that the very fine Jasper is going to be seeing your panties this weekend."

I turned and dug through my drawer with renewed vigour, holding up matching bra and panty sets for McKenna's approval.

"The pink set with the little flower thingies, that lacy white set and the baby blue satin ones." McKenna instructed. "As for pj's, those teeny tank tops with the matching pants........perfect." She smiled a toothy grin.

"I guess that means I'm packed." I added the underwear and pyjamas to my bag.

"Not quite." McKenna grabbed the box I hadn't even seen her set on my bed. "You might need these."

"Oh?" I reached out for the bright blue box in McKenna's hand. "Ohhhhhh." My eyes widened.

There in my small hand sat a box on condoms. Extra large, ribbed for her pleasure I read the label on the box soundlessly in my head. Even through the months I'd been with Edward I hadn't considered needing....protection. It's not like vampires were rampant STD carriers, and was getting pregnant even a remote possibility? It hadn't really been a topic of conversation that had presented itself. Then again Edward had always been to preoccupied thwarting my advances for it to be of any pertinence.

"Don't even consider arguing with me Bella, just put them in your bag."

"I actually wasn't going to argue Kenna." I stated truthfully. There was no way I could even begin to explain to her my probable lack of need for her little gift.

"That's a first!" She wrapped her slim arms around me in a quick hug. "Have fun! I have a date to make myself beautiful for, talk to you Tuesday." Like a whirlwind she was out the door, leaving me to contemplate what this weekend could mean.

I hadn't entirely decided if I was ready to take things to that level with Jasper, after all we'd only reconnected last night. Everything was moving so quickly and the feelings I had for him were so intense. I couldn't even begin to wrap my mind around it all. My fascination with Edward had been instantaneous but this was more than fascination. Everything I was feeling for Jasper was so much more than I'd felt with Edward. Was I ready to jump in head first? I knew that realistically our relationship was progressing at an accelerated pace. But could one really apply the regular rules of relationship etiquette when dealing with immortals? Deep down I knew all the answers to these questions, I'd known since the moment I'd seen him last night.

I pulled out my phone to compose a text, simple words that would completely alter my life once again. I could only hope that he'd grasp their double meaning.

_Jasper, I'm ready if you are_

* * *

**JPOV**

"It's only a grocery store, piece of cake." I vainly tried to reassure myself as I parked in the crowded Winn-Dixie lot.

I'd seen Esme unload hordes of groceries in order to keep up our charade, it hadn't looked all that difficult. What could be complex about tossing food into a metal basket on wheels? I wondered if Char would be able to give me any pointers. Decided fuck no to that idea, Peter would never let me live it down. That alone gave me the incentive to figure this out on my own.

After a few false starts and stops I managed to get the hang of this whole buying human food thing. I'd filled the cart with bags of fresh fruit and vegetables, a variety of pastas along with jars of marinara sauce, along with a multitude of other items I recalled Esme keeping in the house for Bella. My next stop was the Pharmacy after considering Bella's less than stellar ability to refrain from injuring herself in some form. I wandered through the aisles adding a small hospitals supply of first aid items to my already overflowing cart. All in all it had been a lot less painful than I'd anticipated. I was feeling particularly proud of myself as I followed the signs to the checkouts. Even the overt flirting and salacious feelings smacking into me courteous of the middle aged cashier couldn't hinder my positive mood.

I decided on the way back to my truck that it would probably be beneficial for me to call Peter to let him know that I would be bringing Bella home with me. It wasn't that they would mind, quite the contrary in fact. It was more a courtesy, as smelling a human where one generally shouldn't be could be problematic. Especially when the human in question smells as exquisite as Bella does. Retrieving my phone from my pocket it began to vibrate in my hand signalling that I had a new text message before I'd even had the chance to dial. The name that flashed on the screen on my phone however was definitely not Peter. Although I'd anticipated this was coming, I had no idea what to expect. Taking a deep breath more out of habit than need I read the incoming message.

_Jazz I've seen everything. We need to talk_!

Flipping my phone shut I contemplated ignoring Alice, fully aware at what a nearly impossible feat that was. "Fucking persistent pixie." I grumbled when the phone vibrated once again.

_Don't you even consider ignoring me Jasper Whitlock!_

Dammit! There was going to be no way around this conversation. It was difficult to determine from her words which way this was going to go. Alice and I had a complex relationship considering everything. We were the closest of friends, decades spent together had cemented that element of our relationship even after everything else had faced. However, the fact remained that Alice still very much considered Bella her best friend and I sincerely hoped she wouldn't see this as a betrayal. I could only hope that she wouldn't. Deciding I might as well just bite the bullet I rapidly dialed Alice's number.

"See I knew you'd come to your senses." Alice giggled. She seemed strangely......happy.

"Of course you did Alice." It was almost, but not entirely impossible to feel annoyed at what was so typically Alice.

"It's a gift." Her soprano voice full of what could only be described as glee.

"You're not upset." It was more a statement than a question. This had not been the reaction I'd anticipated. Then again rarely did Alice do as expected.

"Of course not silly! This is how things are supposed to be."

"I know." I replied. As irritating as it was at times to be the subject of Alice's visions, there were at times advantages. This was such a time, I didn't have to explain to her how everything had just seemed to fall into place when I saw Bella again.

"You two have a long road ahead of you Jazz, it's not all going to be easy." Alice warned.

"I didn't expect it would be." I answered truthfully.

My conversation with Peter replayed in my mind. There were going to be hurdles to our being together, but in the end if Bella was by my side it would all be worth it.

"You aren't going to like what I have to say next Jazz but you need to listen to me." Alice's usual tinkling voice growing low and serious. "Bella needs to face Edward...."

"No Alice, out of the question!"

"Jasper, this is imperative. The way will never be completely clear for you two if she doesn't. She needs to reconcile her past."

"She has." I insisted, even though on some level I knew that was false. Bella wasn't in love with Edward anymore. I'd sensed that much when she'd spoken of him. The emotional wounds he'd inflicted upon her though were still very much present.

"Jazz, we both know that's not true." Alice knew me much to well. "You have some time. I will block my thoughts from Edward for as long as I possibly can."

"Thank you Alice." I knew this had to be difficult for her in many ways. She was exceptionally close to him not to mention it was no small task to block thoughts from Edward.

"Please bring both of you home to us soon Jazz. We all miss you, and you know as well as I do that this family has been incomplete without Bella." The sadness was evident in Alice's voice.

"That will be up to Bella, the decision is ultimately hers to make as to whether she is ready to see the entire family; including Edward."

"I understand. Do me one favour though please ........." Alice paused. " Tell Bella I miss her."

"Of course." I assured her. "And Alice, she misses you as well." I added. Bella's longing for Alice's presence was something I'd immediately sensed. The bond they shared continued to be strong despite the years of separation.

I heard a long sigh before she spoke again. "Jazz, I need to go before the family wonders where I am. Love you both!" Alice's voice hadn't quite returned to its typical upbeat lilt.

Before I could reply I was left with dead air. Alice never was one to say goodbye. She'd given me a lot to think about , and to discuss with Bella. I felt an overwhelming urge to protect her, but I wouldn't make the same mistakes Edward had time and time again by attempting to shelter her. This was her life, and the path she chose had to be of her making and not due to manipulation on my or anyone else's part.

Yet again the phone I was beginning to loathe made a whirring noise in my hand. Flipping the offending contraption open my impatience rapidly transformed into anticipation as I read the incoming message.

Jasper, I'm ready if you are

Wishful thinking had me reading far to much into her simple message. As much as I yearned for her to be ready to move on with me, I could; I would wait. When you've been alive, or rather existing as long as I have; waiting is something you learn to do well.

Looking around as I settled myself into the drivers seat of my truck, I hadn't realized how much time had passed since pulling into the lot. The sky had darkened significantly, the thick cloud cover making it appear later than it was. I could smell rain. It was one of the many things I missed about Washington. Running through the mountains covered in dense forests, rain pelting my body. It had been refreshing. Bella........she was that for me now. I almost had to groan at what I undoubtedly would have considered quite the corny comparison in the past. I shook my head, chuckling; knowing I'd have to reign this in around Peter or risk never hearing the end of it. Peter.......shit...I was calling him when the whirlwind that was Alice had distracted me.

Pulling into traffic I hit the speed dial on my phone that would connect me to Peter.

"Jazz! No, no, don't tell me.........you ate her!" Peter laughed, ever his sardonic self.

"Go fuck yourself Peter." I growled.

"Now where is the fun in that?" Peter only laughed harder.

This conversation was digressing rapidly. They say hindsight is 20/20, I should have called Char's cell instead.

"Listen Peter, can you not act like a complete asshole for a minute?" My impatience was evident in my voice.

"Sure, but the clock is ticking. Talk fast." I could almost see him watching the second hand on his watch count down to the minute mark.

I sighed in exasperation. " I'm just calling to let you and Char know I'm bringing Bella home with me for the weekend. You know....as a courtesy."

"Uh huh" His grunted reply nearly astounded me. No smartass comments, no lewd remarks, this was a first.

"Uh huh? That's all?" I knew I should just count my blessings and hang up the phone but no, my curiously was piqued now.

"Nuh uh." Peter mumbled. "The minute isn't up yet, give me twenty seconds." He laughed loudly "10, 9, 8...."

Closing my phone before he could finish his countdown I tossed it on the seat beside me where it proceeded to ring.

"Christ, what now?" I cursed aloud. Char this time; hopefully she'd have better luck reigning her husband in.

"Jazz don't worry about Peter, we're going to go round up some........uh dinner." She spoke quickly, hesitating only when referring to their diet of human blood. "We'll be out most of the night. I won't let him bother you, even if it means tying him up." She giggled at Peter's "Yehaw" in the background.

"I owe you Char." I heaved a sigh of relief that Bella and I wouldn't be subjected to Peter's personal brand of humour tonight. No doubt Bella could handle herself, she certainly had last night but Peter could be relentless in his tortuous teasing.

"Yes, yes you do! You can pay me back by allowing me to meet this intriguing girl sometime this weekend." I'd sensed Char's sincerity when she'd talked about wanting to meet Bella this morning.

Pulling up in front of Bella's I said my goodbyes to Char, promising I'd bring Bella over to the main house tomorrow to introduce them. Before I was even out of the truck there she was, hurrying down the steps; my beautiful Bella.

* * *

A/N - Ok this time I PROMISE, much longer chapter coming up next. This will be the one where the question of Laurent and Victoria is answered. Also Alice and Jasper's conversation will be addressed. Also considering doing a chapter in Alice's point of view. Let me know what you all think. Thanks again for reading and reviewing as well as to those that added this story to their favourites and alerts.


	13. Chapter 13

All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

A/N - Sorry it took so long for the update, ended up coming down with the flu over the weekend. Also this was a longer chapter and I have no beta so all editing is mine to do as I go and then again after. So I apologize in advance for any errors, as there I times I miss them. Thank you all of you that continue to review as well as those that have added this story to their favourites and/or alerts. Please continue to review, it's the only way I can tell if anyone is enjoying this.

**BPOV**

Jasper, ever the gentleman insisted on getting me something to eat before we left the lights of the city behind.

"Mushrooms and green peppers, extra cheese?" He asked.

"You remembered." It pleased me that he'd not only remembered this insignificant detail from my time spent with his family but that he'd taken notice of it in the first place.

"Of course Bella." He stated as though it wasn't of any consequence before heading in to pick up my dinner.

I'd always found that Jasper was somewhat indifferent to my presence in the Cullen home, never rude; always welcoming but that had been the extent of it. It was one of the many reasons that this turn of events between us had me so thrown. The thought that he may have actually paid me more notice than I realized thrilled me. I was eager for the time we'd have this weekend to really talk about these things, get everything out in the open. As ready as I was to pursue this 'thing' with Jasper, I wasn't naive enough not to recognize that we still had a great many issues to discuss. I had always been so hesitant to make waves with Edward, which led to not always being one hundred per cent honest with him about not only my feelings, but my life in general. On more than one occasion I had omitted details in order to keep him happy, fearful that he would decide he no longer wanted me. Well seeing where that had gotten me I decided this time, this relationship with Jasper was going to be different.

The aroma of melted cheese mixed with Jasper's own heady scent as he settled himself back inside the truck distracted me from my internal musings.

"Mmmm that smells heavenly." I sighed; unsure myself if I meant the steaming box in his outstretched hand, or Jasper himself. "Thank you." I whispered, taking the pizza box from him and settling it on my lap.

"You're very welcome Darlin'." A wide smile on his face, no doubt picking up on my feelings of pleasure and contentment.

The drive to Jasper's home took us away from city, the lights fading behind us as he picked up speed on the freeway. Before long we were shrouded in darkness, the cloudy night sky blocking out all natural light. Leaving the main thoroughfare Jasper took a few winding roads, the open landscape I could make out in the dark receding until the narrow road was almost canopied by the branches of the surrounding trees. The majority of the ride had been mostly silent, other than the occasional comments and a brief explanation from Jasper as to how this was one of more than a few properties that Peter and his wife had acquired.

"Not much further now." Jasper said

I only nodded, fully aware that even in the darkness that surrounded us he could see me clearly as if it were daylight.

"I bet it's beautiful out here." I commented idly.

"It has it's charms." He agreed. "If the rain holds off this weekend maybe you'd like to experience the Louisiana Bayou?"

"Yeah that would be great." I nodded. "Wait.........isn't there like ummmm alligators?" A noticeable shiver ran down my body.

Jasper chuckled. "Among other things. Don't worry sweetheart, I'll keep you safe."

An image of Jasper taking on an alligator, his muscular body poised to fight; his features fierce settled in my mind. It was a stimulating thought to say the least.

"Bella what are you thinking?" Jasper's husky voice was just above a whisper. His cool hand clasped my warm one, his thumb strumming over the pulse point in my wrist. My breathing hitched the picture of a feral looking Jasper in my mind combined with his touch and that deep drawl; I was a puddle.

"N-nothing." I stuttered, wondering if I even remotely had the affect on him that he did on me. Doubtful Bella my internal voice chastised, you're only human remember, not good enough. Old insecurities surfaced, regardless of Jasper's declaration of his feelings for me last night. I knew I had to stop thinking this way. The kaleidoscope of emotions I was blasting at Jasper in ever increasing intervals had to be driving him to distraction.

"Baby you're emotions are all over the map? What is it?" Concern was evident in Jasper's voice.

"Just over thinking things." I shrugged, answering him honestly.

"Are you sure about coming out here tonight? I can take you home." Disappointment in his tone as he spoke soothingly to me.

"No." I exclaimed a little to loudly. "I mean.......Jazz, if there is one thing I'm sure about it's that I'm exactly where I want to be." Looking up my eyes met his golden orbs, hoping he could pick up on the confidence I'd infused into my words.

Without slowing the speed at which he was driving, Jasper leaned across the middle console capturing my lips with his in a lingering kiss. I gasped wrenching my mouth away. "Jasper the road!"

Jasper laughed quietly against my lips. "Vampire remember, multitasking is only one of many things I do well." His mouth once again sought out mine, his cool lips settling firmly over my own. I closed my eyes, sighing as I gave in when the icy tip of his tongue brushed along my lower lip. My traitorous fingers tangling in the curls lying against his collar.

The truck came to a rather abrupt stop, the headlights illuminating an imposing wrought iron security gate. There was a rather triumphant smirk on Jasper's face as he settled back in his seat.

"That on the list too?" My voice was husky and breathless, not at all sounding like me.

"You tell me darlin'." His deep timbre sending a tremor coursing through me.

"Could use some work." I shrugged, failing miserably at holding back a grin.

"Well they say practice makes perfect." Jasper winked before rolling down his window to make quick work of the security panel.

Jasper pointed out the main house where Peter and Charlotte resided before continuing down the narrow road to where a two story log house sat, the windows flooded with soft yellow light.

"Looks like Char set out the welcoming mat for us before they left." Jasper commented.

"They're not here?" Truth be told I was somewhat relieved.

"No they uhh went out for the night." He explained as he brought the truck to a stop outside the house.

* * *

The subdued beauty of Jasper's home didn't surprise me at all. The rich dark colours and leather living room furniture suited him. Jasper had insisted that I eat while he took care of bringing in the small armies worth of groceries from the truck. Was he planning on feeding me for a year? Then again, I suppose grocery shopping wasn't something he did on a regular basis. It was quite touching that he'd undertaken such a human activity for me.

My main thought at the moment was how to bring up the fact that I was ready to pursue this, this thing between us. I still didn't completely understand how the entire mating thing worked but if it was anything like the way the wolves imprinted then I needn't worry about Jasper's feelings for me. I would have to ask him, although I know bringing up the wolves was going to open a whole new can of worms so to speak.

There were things I had yet to share with Jasper, my knowledge of the existence of the Quileute wolves only one. There was also the matter of Victoria and Laurent that I'd yet to disclose to him. To tell him about one though would mean having to explain it all. Jacob and the rest of the pack had made no secret their utter disapproval of my affection for their sworn enemy. I could only hope that Jasper would be more understanding of my ties to the Quileute wolf pack.

There was one conversation I was dreading more than the one I'd need to have with Jasper and that was with Jacob. He wasn't going to be understanding. I wasn't prepared to give one up for the other, although I was aware that there might possibly be no choice. Dwelling on it was not going to miraculously bless me with an answer. I was determined to push this to back of my mind during my weekend with Jasper.

"Ready for your grand tour darlin'?" He pulled me to a standing position. "I have to tell you though; I can't take credit for most of this. It was almost entirely Char."

With my hand encased in his he lead me through rooms of the main floor. It felt completely natural and comfortable to be walking through the rooms of Jasper's home, as though I belonged here.

"I'll grab your bag and show you the bedroom and bathroom upstairs." Jasper explained, leaving me at the bottom of the stairs while he retrieved my bag from beside the front door.

Jasper's bedroom was magnificent. "A bed Jazz? I'm impressed."

"Creature of habit I guess." He shrugged. "Doesn't feel right to me to have a bedroom with no bed."

"It's all so gorgeous, thank you for bringing me here." Wrapping my small arms around his waist I tilted my head back, the angle allowing me to see his face.

His eyes were darker than normal, not quite black but many shades deeper than their typical caramel. "The pleasure is all mine." That voice was enough to cause a pool of warmth low in my belly.

I didn't even attempt to clamp down on my arousal when I felt a cold hand settle on the bare skin of my lower back. The iciness of his hands felt heavenly on my heated skin. Was I ready for where this was leading? It was all moving so fast. I'd asked for time but did I really want that anymore? I wanted him with every fibre of my being, of that I was certain. But was I opening myself up for a broken heart yet again, for some reason I didn't think so but could I be sure? So many questions to which the answers didn't seem to matter when our bodies were pressed so close together.

I decided then and there that all the things I needed to tell him would still be there in the morning, tonight was going to be for us. No talk of the past, no worries about the future; just the here and now.

* * *

**JPOV**

Bella's heart was hammering in her chest; her tiny arms wrapped around me left very little discernable space between our bodies. I could sense her desire; the scent of her arousal was intoxicating. I warred with my mind telling me to stop, that Bella still needed time. Not to mention that I'd yet to tell her about my phone call with Alice. My more baser instincts were telling me to go, to give us this one night before I completely turned her life upside down by telling her the details of mine and Alice's exchange, and mainly that she'd have to settle things with my brother once and for all. Unfortunately, my conscience was winning the argument. If being with me meant her eventually having to face Edward again I needed to give her the option of walking away, going back to her life free of these complications. The mere concept of a life without her tore my insides apart.

"Bella...........we need to talk." I sighed as I reigned in my libido and stepped away from her.

Rejection......it was emanating off of her. Grasping her chin in my hand I pulled her face up to look at me. "Bella, do you not know how much I want you?"

She didn't answer, only sucked her lower lip between her teeth while her arms wrapped around her middle.

"Baby it's taking every ounce of control I have not to carry you over to that bed and make love to you all night, my promise to give you time be damned." I said fiercely, needing her to understand my want, my need for her.

Her eyes were dark pools as they widened at my words. I could sense her desire overriding her feelings of rejection. "Then why?" She asked.

"I spoke with Alice this evening" I began.

Bella's desire waned once again to be replaced with.....was that guilt, and fear. Whatever would she have to fear from Alice? I closed the small amount of distance between us, the overwhelming urge to comfort her overriding everything else. Lifting her into my arms I carried her to the oversized leather armchair in the corner of the room. With Bella curled on my lap I brushed the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Bella talk to me." I pleaded "Why the fear and what could you possibly feel guilty about?"

"'I'm afraid you're going to go back to her, you two always seemed so ......so perfect together." I started to interrupt her to let her know how absurd a notion that was but she stopped me, holding a finger against my lips. "I feel guilty Jazz, because as much as I love and adore Alice.........I want you for myself." The tears that had been pooling in her eyes began to stream down her pink tinged cheeks.

Wiping her tears away with the pad of my thumb I shook my head and chuckled lightly. As much as it pained me to see Bella distraught I was comforted by her apparent feelings for me. "Bella I'm not going anywhere, I am yours as long as you will have me." Holding her face between my hands I accentuated my words "I. Will. Never. Leave. You." My lips crashed against hers, no gentleness in this kiss. I was determined that she understand that I couldn't leave her, ever. Bella's warm arms wound around my neck, pulling her body closer to mine, her hot little tongue darting out of her mouth to tangle with mine. My fingers tangled in her mahogany curls, as I explored the inside of her luscious mouth with my tongue. Feeling myself harden and strain against the denim barely holding me back I knew I'd have to put the brakes on again or risk both of us losing control.

I trailed my fingertips lightly down her flushed cheeks as I regretfully broke our kiss. "Alice and I were not perfect together; we just put on a very convincing act. I am not in love with Alice sweetheart; there is no one I want more than you?"

"I....I...just don't understand why you want me Jazz." She stammered.

"Baby don't you get it? You are the warmest, brave and loving creature I have ever known in my life. Bella, I am a monster but you see the man underneath it all. You make me want to be the man rather than the monster." I explained. "After everything that happened at your birthday party it was only the thought of how you'd always seen beyond what I was, what we all were that gave me the focus to try harder, to battle the inner demon."

"Jasper, you are not a monster." Bella whispered before burying her face in my chest.

"Now as for that guilt darlin', it's completely unwarranted." My voice held a scolding quality. "Alice loves you Bella and she's unbelievably happy for us. We more than have her blessing; however there is another member of the family we do need to discuss." This was the subject I was dreading bringing up.

"Edward." Bella almost choked out his name and I couldn't get a read on her emotions. It was strange and rather disconcerting that the only time I couldn't get a clear read on Bella's emotions was when it had to do with Edward. I'd told Peter that I hadn't felt love coming from Bella when we'd discussed Edward, but the truth was I hadn't felt anything. It was like she had a wall built around everything she ever or currently felt for him. "What has Alice seen?" She asked, seemingly resigned to have this conversation.

"That you need to see him, hash things out with him so to speak; before we can truly be free to move on with our life together." As much as I'd have liked to ease her into this, I knew just spitting it out would be better. Like pulling off a band aid.

Bella was angry; I could feel it coming off of her in waves. She wrenched herself off of my lap and began to pace in front of me. "What could there possibly be for him and I to hash out?" She spit the words out, her voice growing louder as he continued. "Why do I owe him any sort of explanation? He didn't want me Jazz; I wasn't good enough for him!"

"Who or what gave you that idea Bella?" I was dumbfounded that she believed what she was saying. I'd never agreed with Edward leaving her, but he'd insisted he was doing it because he loved her and only to keep her safe. It was this knowledge that had prompted my reaction when Alice had first told me they would have to settle things between them. The only comfort I'd been able to ream was that although my brother loved her he was not meant to be her mate, if he was he'd have never been able to leave her; no matter the reason.

"Edward did, he more than gave me the idea Jasper; he told me so himself. He said he didn't want me, that I wasn't good enough for him. I was only a distraction for him." Again, I felt nothing; no emotions coming from her. Even her voice, flat and so matter of fact gave nothing away.

"He what?" I growled, shooting out of the chair at vampire speed. Rage poured from me, how could he have done that to her?

"You didn't know, he didn't tell you?" Her expression was one of confusion.

"No." I shook my head, moving to stare out the window. She deserved to know the truth about why he'd left. My greatest fear however was that I would lose her. Would knowing Edward had loved her, still loved her change how she felt about me? Would she want to go to him? This was going to be the moment of truth for us. "He lied Bella." I whispered. Tortured I said the words that I knew could cost me the one thing I didn't think I could live without.......her. "Edward didn't leave because he didn't love you, he left to protect you. He still loves you Bella."

Bella's reaction was not the one I was expecting. "To protect me?!" She exploded, her eyes wild, the extreme rage she was feeling almost enough to bring me to my knees. "Protect me from what? From damn near spiralling into a depression so deep it took everything in me to claw my way out of it? Or was it to protect me from those of your kind that still sought me out after you'd all left? Nothing, he protected me from nothing Jasper." Bella dropped to her knees, sobs wracking her body.

The emotional atmosphere of the room was almost more than my ability could handle. I had never felt such utter rage come from a human. I was confused though, what had she meant that others of our kind had sought her out? Who?

I knelt beside her, wrapping my arms around her trembling body. Projecting soothing waves of calm I attempted to soothe her. "Shhh Bella, sweetheart look at me." If I had a heart it would have broken for her as I took in her tear stained face.

"I'm sorry Jazz." Bella whimpered. "For losing control."

"There is nothing for you to apologize for Bella. But please, I have to know what you meant about others seeking you out? I don't understand. Alice should have seen this."

"Laurent and Victoria.........they came for me."

"Fuck, I tried to warn him that what happened in Phoenix wouldn't be the end of it." Why had I let him convince me, convince everyone that she'd be better off without us, that she'd live a normal life with us gone? If there was one thing I'd discovered about Bella, she did not attract normal. "How darlin', how are you still alive if they came after you?"

"I didn't want to tell you this way Jasper."

"Tell me what?" This night was turning out nothing like what I'd planned.

"About the wolves."

"The Quileutes?" I was of course aware of the treaty. The treaty between Carlisle and the Quileute's had occurred before Alice and I had joined the family, however we were privy to all that it encompassed as members of the Cullen family. "The pack....it's back?"

"Yes......my friend Jacob, he's one of them." Bella began to explain. "He saved me Jazz, in more ways than one. He helped me to somewhat live again; he was my sun when everything around me seemed so dark." A small smile played on Bella's lips as she spoke of him, a spike of jealousy coursed through me. "It was him, and the rest of the pack that killed Laurent and later Victoria. It's because of them that I'm able to be here with you."

As a vampire I am able to process a multitude of things at once but this was all too much, even for me. I knew Bella and I would have to discuss this further and that I'd have to let my family know not only about Victoria and Laurent but about the rebirth of the wolf pack in Forks. Tonight was not going to be the night for any of that though. I was still holding Bella's enticingly warm body against mine, she'd made no move to remove herself from my arms and I had no urge to let go of her. She'd yet to pay recognition to my admission that Edward still loved her.

"Are you still with me Jazz?" Bella's tiny hand cupped my cheek, concern etched across her features. "I wanted to tell you all this in such a different way and I know I have much more to explain but please not tonight. I wanted tonight to be for us." Her lips brushed against mine before she almost desperately started to rain miniscule kisses along my jaw.

"Bella, did you not hear when I said Edward loves you?" I had to know if she'd heard me, if this would change things for us.

Ceasing her gentle ministrations against my jaw she locked her gaze on mine. "I heard, and it doesn't matter. It's too little to late Jazz. I. Want. You." She borrowed my earlier words.

It was all the assurance I needed as I stood, gathering her in my arms to carry her to the king size bed dominating the bedroom. Laying her in the middle of the bed, surrounded by a mountain of pillows I settled the length of my body beside her. Bella and I were on our sides facing each other as I caressed my fingers up and down her arm.

"I realize that for you this is all happening terribly quickly and I don't expect you to be able to reciprocate my feelings yet but Bella........" I hesitated only slightly. "I am irrevocably in love with you."

"If I've learned anything in the last few years it's to never doubt the existence of those things considered imaginary." Her lips moved closer to mine, I could taste her sweet breath on my tongue. "I've never been one to subscribe to the existence love at first sight but if vampires and werewolves can be real than why can't it?"

"What are you saying Bella?"

"I'm saying I love you Jasper, I'm in love with you."

That was all I needed to hear, it was like a light exploded inside of me. Happiness I didn't think possible in this existence enveloped me. I swiftly rolled Bella to her back, bringing my body to hover over hers; my weight resting on my arms positioned on either side of her head. I watched as her pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips at the same time I felt her hands fist in my t-shirt, effectively pulling my body down on hers. An almost inaudible sigh escaped from her when I lowered my mouth over hers, barely ghosting over her lips, stroking them with short brushes from my own. Bella's own unique scent combined with the aroma of her arousal was almost my undoing. I pushed my tongue against her slightly parted lips, seeking entrance. Our tongues mingled together as her hands slid my shirt up, nails raking lightly over my abdomen and up my chest.

Pulling her mouth away from mine Bella pleaded. "Please Jazz off, I want to see you."

* * *

**BPOV**

"Please Jazz off, I want to see you." I had an overwhelming urge to be able to see and touch the perfection that is his body without all the barriers.

Sitting back on his heels, my hips cradled between his knees he pulled the t-shirt up and over his head; tossing it across the room. Something wasn't right. Jasper sat astride me, his hands tensed into fists at his sides, a look of uncertainty painted across his gorgeous features.

"You're beautiful" I whispered reverently. Jasper was amazing, his alabaster skin covering a perfectly ripped chest and abdominals, his arms chorded in muscles. Beautiful didn't begin to aptly describe him. I could only barely make out the crescent shaped scars, similar to the one on my arm running across his chest and shoulders but they only added to his appeal. Where Edward had always had rather boyish good looks, Jasper was more certainly all man.

"You don't see them?" His tone was self conscious.

"See what?" I asked, somewhat bewildered as to why he would feel anything other than pride at his appearance.

"The scars Bella." Jasper's teeth were clenched as tight as his fists.

"I see them and you are still beautiful, they only add to it." I reached up tracing a solitary finger over the edges of the raised scars on his icy body. "Will you tell me about them sometime Jazz?"

"Of course, however right now I have more important things on my mind." He'd visibly relaxed.

"Oh such as?" I giggled, running the same fingertip that had traced over his scars down to the waist band of his jeans. My eyes locked on the obvious erection straining against the front of said jeans, I didn't know whether to be intimidated or excited at his most obvious endowment. Excited definitely won out when I sailed my fingertip down the front of his jeans over the impressive bulge and a low growl erupted from his chest.

"Bella, you're making it extremely difficult for me to take this slow." Jasper was wearing a sexy smirk giving it away that he was not at all upset by my actions.

"Then don't take it slow." I retorted cupping him fully in my hand. Before I could even register his movements Jasper had switched our positions. He on his back with me straddling him, my denim clad mound pressed intimately against his erection.

"Ohhh." I moaned, the sensations created with him pressed against me causing a surge of wetness to pool between my thighs. Jasper's hands on my hips rocked my now soaking core against him. "Take these off." I urged, fumbling with the button of his jeans.

"Nuh uh darlin', the clothed to non-clothed ratio is already in your favour."

Completely out of character and with all thoughts of modesty out the window I hurriedly pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor to join his. "Better?" I asked.

"Not quite..." His husky voice caused goose bumps to erupt on my overheated skin.

* * *

**JPOV**

Reaching up I flicked the clasp holding the edges of Bella's violet satin bra together. With a light touched I brushed the thin straps down her arms before sending it to join the rest of our discarded clothing.

"Stunning." I murmured, running my cool hands up and down her rib cage stopping just below the creamy skin of her breasts to slide my thumbs along the underside. A blush stained her cheeks a deep rose. "Now you blush." I chuckled, amazed at her apparent shyness when moments earlier she'd been quite the bold Bella.

"I'm not stunning." She whispered, her voice shaking. I could feel a sudden nervousness and attack of self doubt flow through her.

Sitting up I pulled her to my chest, her nipples pebbling against my cold chest. "You surpass stunning my Bella. Darlin' you are the most amazingly enticing woman I have ever laid eyes upon." I purred into her ear. Projecting all the lust I was feeling onto her I trailed kisses down her neck towards her collarbone. With open mouth kisses interspersed with flicks of my tongue I trailed over her collarbone, across the rounded curves of her breasts. "Bella I want you, you've felt how badly I want you. My body craves yours baby." I murmured as I continued to pepper kisses over her flushed skin. "I have every intention of making love to you my Bella.....soon."

I felt her body stiffen against mine, dreading this reaction. "Soon?" she questioned.

"Soon." I repeated, flooding her with all the love I felt for her. "Bella I want your first time to be special, and not while we have all this other stuff hanging over us. Once we've had a chance to put the past behind us then I will make you mine."

I could sense understanding combined with disappointment coming from her. Bella's body had however relaxed as she'd cuddled herself closer to my chest, resting her head where my no longer beating heart lay. Caressing my hands up and down her arms I decided that although I would stick with my decision to wait to claim her completely I could not leave her unsatisfied tonight.

"There are other ways that I can bring you pleasure Bella." I purred into her ear, feeling her desire spike once again.

After lying Bella back against the pillows I quickly divested us both of our jeans. Laying on my side next to her I brushed a finger over her lips before leaning down to draw her lower lip into my mouth. Closing my mouth fully over hers I trailed my cool fingers over her heated flesh, starting at her collarbone to trace a path down between her perfect breasts to her flat stomach and around the indent of her navel before moving upwards to circle her pert nipples.

Bella's lips parted in a gasp against mine as I brushed the pad off my thumb back and forth over her hardening tips. I needed to taste her, the urge was overwhelming. Moving away from her mouth I lowered my head to lap my tongue against one nipple while continuing the ministrations of my thumb against the other. She was writhing underneath my lips and hands, her hips bucking up off the bed.

"Jazz.....please......god....I need...." She was panting, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"What do you need baby?" My lips vibrating against her as I spoke.

"More....I need more." Bella's whimpers and cries of pleasure were hammering away at my control.

Stroking down her belly again I continued lower, my fingers dancing against the skin of her lower thigh as I parted her legs to give me access to what lay between. I could see the wetness seeping through her satin panties, could nearly taste it as her scent hung thick in the air. With my aching hardness pressed into her hip I heard Bella's gasp of surprise when I tore the last barrier away, tossing her tattered panties over my shoulder.

Ever so gently I slid my finger up and down her slick folds, gingerly parting her to seek out her swollen nub. Bella's moans were near constant now as I circled the little bundle of nerves, flicking it softly with my finger.

"Oh god Jazz...." She cried, digging her nails into my shoulders.

Deftly I ran a finger around her entrance, before quickly plunging one, then two fingers inside of her.

"Fuck...." I growled "Darlin' you are so hot and tight."

Crashing my lips over hers I continued to pump my fingers, mimicking the movement of my fingers in and out of her dripping core with my tongue exploring the inside of her mouth. Adding my thumb to stroke her hard little nub I could feel her walls tightening around my fingers. I continued to assault her mouth with my own, swallowing her near constant moans and gasps.

Tearing her mouth from mine, Bella gasped my name "Jasper!.......so close.....don't.........stop."

Curling my fingers inside of her I sought out her g-spot. Tapping my fingers rhythmically against the spongy tissue I felt her contract against my fingers as she screamed my name. Gathering her close to my body I continued to softly stroke between her thighs as she came down from her orgasmic high.

"That was amazing." Bella panted into my chest. Her hair tangled, her lips swollen from our kisses, and her body slick with sweat; I had never seen her look sexier.

Wrapping my arms tightly around her I drew the blanket up and over us. "You are amazing." I murmured into her hair. "Sleep now sweetheart." Exhaustion was seeping out of her, giving away how hard she was fighting to remain awake. Tracing patterns across the skin of her back I held her in my arms, listening as her breathing became more steady and even as she allowed sleep to claim her.

A/N - Considering doing a chapter from Alice's POV next....we shall see. Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

**APOV**

Pushing the end button on my cell phone I looked around at the place I'd called home for nearly two years. Almost two years ago to the day we'd left Forks at Edward's urging and moved back to Alaska, not far from the Denali National Park and Preserve. It was also the day our entire family fell apart. Although Jasper was as much a part of this family as I was, he'd chosen to set off on his own for a while; returning only for sporadic visits. Edward had decided to travel for a time as well, and had only recently returned from South America; for how long was anyone's guess. I hadn't even been able to secure a vision of how long Edward would remain among the family, mainly because he probably hadn't decided as of yet. Then there was Bella, the member of our family we'd left behind. I fully believe that Edward's decision to travel and be away from the family so soon after we'd left Forks was because he couldn't handle our thoughts of Bella, although he'd never outright said anything; always choosing instead to suffer in silence.

My wandering mind drifted back to the conversation I'd just had with Jasper. To say I was happy that Jasper and Bella had finally found each other was putting it mildly. I'm sure there would be those, including members of my own family that would doubt the sincerity of my joy but they hadn't seen what I had, didn't know the things I knew. Naturally it had taken me some time to become completely accepting of what fate seemed to have in store for my former husband and my best friend, but such was the perils of my gift. Although my ability allowed me to at times manipulate how the future would play out I refused to decide the fate of those I loved unless they were in danger. This was not one of those times and I accepted that I would have to allow two of the people I loved most in this world to meet their destiny without my interference.

I had always known that Jasper was only meant to be mine for a short while, and when you're facing eternity 50 years is a relatively short amount of time. I would always love him, although truth be told I wasn't in love with him and I wasn't entirely sure I ever had been. We had been companions, friends, confidents and lovers; but never truly mates. Mates, the term is thrown around so loosely in our world when few rarely understand the true meaning. When someone of our kind finds his or her mate it's a forever kind of love, there is no coming back from it. Truly, one cannot exist without the other. Bella is that for Jasper.

I'd had many visions of Jasper leaving our family, and meeting the one he'd spend his existence with but she'd always been blurry. No face, no distinguishing features, nothing to hint at it being Bella. That is until we'd left Forks, and Jasper had left us. I fully believe that I couldn't see details because decisions had yet to be made. Edward deciding to leave Bella, and shortly after Jasper and I deciding to part made the vision a little less sketchy. A least to the point that I could make out certain features of the unknown woman but not entirely. It wasn't until I'd heard from Jasper that he was going to be living near New Orleans that I'd seen her face.......the woman in my vision was Bella.

I hadn't entirely kept my promise to Edward. I'd agreed to not look for Bella's future after we left, and I'd kept true to that. I couldn't help it that her life was so intrinsically linked with ours that at times glimpses would break through, mere flashes really. Only once she herself had decided to leave forks had I gotten a really clear view at my much missed dear friend. I'd seen that she'd visit our house in Forks, a way to say goodbye once and for all I guess. I couldn't allow her to let us go completely. Her life was still tied with ours and I had to show her that fact in some way, without being entirely obvious as to what her future held. So I'd sent the letter, to be delivered to her when she arrived at the house. Now I just had to be patient, and wait for Jasper to bring her back to us, this time as his mate.

My advance hearing picked up that I would soon have company, as a precaution I began to once again catalogue my entire wardrobe in my mind.....including shoes and handbags. It was how I was so far successfully keeping Edward out of my thoughts. He was home for a visit at Esme and Carlisle's urging. Eventually he would have to know about Bella and Jasper, but not yet and not from me.

Although my heart ached for the pain it was going to cause Edward to find out that the girl he'd left behind was now the woman mated to his brother, he had helped to push their fate together. His leaving Bella had only furthered the wheels of destiny that were already in motion.

"Alice, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" My brother asked. I felt a surge of guilt at what I was keeping from him. When it was just him and I he was almost the old Edward. Not the brooding, tortured, soul he'd become since leaving Forks, especially around this time. Yesterday had been Bella's birthday, and in only two days it would be the two year anniversary of the day we left Forks.

"Felt like talking to Jazz and didn't want an audience." It was a half truth.

"And how is he?"

"He's doing well; he's near New Orleans with Peter and Charlotte." I offered

Edward only nodded his head. The two brothers held no animosity towards each other, and Edward had never cast recriminations against Jasper for his actions at Bella's birthday but they were not close. In fact I wasn't sure they'd even spoken in the last two years. The couple of times that Jasper had visited Edward had been away and neither ever let on if they spoke via other methods.

"Carlisle informed me that he's invited Jasper for a visit while I'm home, a family reunion of sorts." Edward's tone didn't give away how he felt about the idea.

"Yeah, I'm aware. Not sure if he's coming or not though." I stated truthfully.

"You mean you haven't seen it?" Edward lowered himself onto the log beside me, bumping me with his shoulder.

I shrugged. "Guess he hasn't decided."

"Ok Alice what's up?" He quirked a perfectly formed eyebrow at me, truth be told I'd always been somewhat jealous of my brother's perfect brows. Edward smirked and shook his head at my wayward thought about his appearance.

"What are you talking about big brother?" I worked harder at shielding my thoughts......Red Gucci purse, White Christian Louboutin pumps.....

"You're blocking." His intense eyes bored into mine.

"Why ever would you think that?" I giggled, hoping he'd drop the subject and soon.

"Because Alice you are cataloguing your entire closet, and then some."

"So, it's nearly fall. I'm going to need to replenish soon so I need to know what I have." I lied.

"Whatever you say pixie, I'll let it go for now." Edward shrugged. He usually didn't back down that easily.

"So, how long are you home for this time?" I changed the subject though honestly I was quite curious of the answer seeing as how I was going to have to somehow convince Jasper he needed to bring Bella here to face Edward before he could run off again.

]

"Actually Alice I haven't decided if I'm leaving again or not." This was progress; maybe he was finally starting to deal with his grief over leaving Bella. "Being away and on my own hasn't dimmed my memories of her, or made me miss her any less. It's only succeeded in hurting Carlisle and Esme." It was rare that he even brought the subject of Bella up, generally choosing to avoid any mention of her.

"We have all missed you deeply Edward. Having you home again would help us to feel whole again." So much had changed, and having Edward stay would be one step to reuniting the family we used to be.

I suddenly had an epiphany of sorts. Jasper was beyond what one might describe as stubborn and if Bella and he were truly mated he'd be exceedingly protective of her. I'm not sure even I would be able to convince him to return to the fold with Bella. Bella on the other hand I might possibly have more success with. It was something I would have to do in person though. The problem was what her reaction might be if I suddenly appeared on her doorstep. Knowing my dear friend as well as I did I anticipated she was most likely having a few guilt issues in relation to involvement with my former husband. Paying Bella a visit would in effect kill two birds with one stone.......telling her what my visions entailed about her needing to face Edward to provide both of them with some semblance of closure and to alleviate any of the possible unnecessary guilt over being Jasper's true mate.

"Come on Eddie, I'll race you home." I giggled, bouncing off the fallen tree to dance around my brother who was wearing one of his rare smiles.

For the first time in two years I felt hopeful as I raced Edward through the trees. Naturally I didn't have a hope of beating him back to the house but that had been the point. With Edward distracted I was free to list off in my head the things I'd need to get in order.......flight reservations, packing, alibi, hmmm what to pack for September in New Orleans.

A/N - I know, very short. I've always liked the character of Alice and I wanted to show that she's ok with what fate has decided for Jasper and Bella. However, I don't think Edward will be nearly as ok with it........


	15. Chapter 15

All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N First of all I owe a ton of praise to my new beta, Georgia Dawgette. She is amazing! She aided me immensely with this chapter. I'm hoping to be able to get chapters out a bit more frequently now that I have her assistance. As always thanks to everyone who reviewed or added this story to their favorites and/or alerts. Also they give me the push to write more, faster! Hope you like.....

**BPOV**

I was dreaming about being held in a set of strong, cold arms against an equally frosty marble chest; the only thing separating our skin from touching was a fluffy comforter wrapped loosely around my body. As the last vestiges of sleep began to leave me I slowly realized that the comforting body cradling mine wasn't part of a dream.

The whispered "Morning beautiful." combined with Jasper's own unique scent solidified the realization that it was not a dream. I was lying in Jasper's arms, in his bed, wrapped in his blankets........naked. A blush heated my face as I slowly opened my eyes, to find Jasper's perfectly pale face staring down at me. Damn, the man definitely took my breath away.

"G'morning Jazz." I mumbled, turning my face into the softness of the pillow under my head. How unfair that he could resemble a god first thing in the morning while here I lay with bed head and morning breath.

"What? No kiss?" Jasper feigned hurt.

"Morning breath." I mumbled almost unintelligible into the pillow.

Jasper chucked and I felt his weight lift from the bed. "Alright darlin', go have your human time. Then, if you'd like something to eat maybe you could come downstairs and teach me how to use my kitchen.

It was my turn to snort a laugh into the pillow. Turning my face to the side to peer up at Jasper standing so casually beside the bed wearing only a pair of grey sweats slung low on his hips my teasing retort died on my lips. I'd never seen him appear so human, happy and relaxed; like any man after waking up to the woman he loves. Until this moment I'd always seen what he was first, the vampire before the man. It was at that point I'd always tell myself what he was didn't matter. This was the first time I'd ever looked at him and just seen a man.

"What?" Jasper quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Don't move, stay right there." I ordered as I stumbled out of the enormous bed, wrapped only in a sheet. With a grace I hadn't realized I possessed I dashed to the ensuite bathroom, snatching my bag as I went.

Taking a steadying breath I calmed myself. He'd looked good enough to eat. His bare chest, that revealing V in between his hips bones. I was positive he'd be able to feel the lust radiating off of me through the door. Quickly brushing my teeth I decided to ignore the tangled nest on curls on my head. If I had my way I'd just be messing it up again anyway. Noticing the flannel button up Jasper had worn the previous night thrown atop a basket in the corner I impulsively decided to swap it for the cumbersome sheet currently encasing my nudity. Grasping the collar I raised it to my nose, inhaling his scent. Jasper's natural fragrance by far surpassed any cologne ever created. I'm not certain if the change in attire was for Jasper's benefit or my own. I was almost positive he'd love the intimacy of me wearing his shirt but at the same time it catered to my almost ridiculous sense of modesty. I felt somewhat less naked than I had wrapped in merely a sheet.

Opening the door I was pleasantly surprised to see him standing stock still in the same spot I'd left him. The only difference was the intense expression currently gracing his features. Gone were all traces of questioning or amusement. It was abundantly clear that he'd sensed my dominant emotions. Gingerly padding towards him my desire for him elevating I watched his eyes roam up and down my body, widening as he took in my attire. His normally golden hued eyes had a darkness in them, almost as if he was thirsty but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that wasn't it. If it was my blood that he wanted his razor teeth would already be at my throat.

With more confidence than I usually exhibited I stood before him, raising my hand to rest against his bare chest. Doubting it would be effective I gave a push, meant to make him sprawl backwards across the bed. I was more than a little flabbergasted when Jasper allowed his body to tumble backwards, albeit gracefully across the pillowy surface. Although he remained silent, his eyes were still a blend of gold and black, and there was a slight grin on his face, I'm sure in reaction to the shock I was feeling.

Jasper settled himself against the pillows, his hands resting behind his head, watching me with hooded eyes. Crawling up beside his prone form on my hands and knees I took my time, my gaze never leaving his. Straddling his torso, one leg on either side of his waist I didn't miss his sharp intake of breath as he realized I was bare beneath the shirt that was now riding up my thighs.

"Bella......." He groaned, his hands suddenly running up my legs, from knee to upper thigh.

Steeling myself to resist the temptation that was his hands, I attempted to still them with my own. "Nuh uh uh." I scolded in a singsong voice "Last night was your turn, now it's mine."

Removing his hands, Jasper again placed them behind his head. His actions essentially giving me carte blanches over his body. He didn't speak, only watched me with so much intensity that my confidence slipped a little, after all; this wasn't exactly familiar territory for me. Up until the other night when Jasper had insisted that he had ever intention of making love to me this was something I'd assumed wasn't even possible between a human and a vampire. Now that I knew better but I was over thinking things as usual. Just feel Bella, just feel I chanted inside my head.

Tentatively I slid my hands slowly up his chiselled abdomen, allowing my fingers to trace the individual ridges of muscles. Further up, over his well defined Pecs I feathered my fingers over a few of the many crescent shaped scars littered across his chest. I didn't know a lot about Jasper's past or rather his beginning other than it had been violent. These scars told a story, one I would be more than willing to listen to when he was ready to tell me.

Using his wide shoulders for leverage I pulled my body forwards so that we were face to face, my body pressed intimately to his. Through my explorations Jasper laid stock still, allowing me my curiosity.

"Is this okay?"

"Darlin' it's more than okay." Jasper murmured, a healthy dose of lust and anticipation projecting from him to me.

Urged on by the knowledge of what he was feeling I only allowed myself one more moment's hesitation before lowering my mouth to his. Finally eliciting a response from the statue beneath me when his lips parted beneath mine. It always amazed me how soft his lips felt on mine, considering the marble like quality of the rest of his body. Our mouths melded together, his cool tongue caressing my lips; seeking entrance. Time ceased to hold any meaning as I trailed my lips from his mouth to his jaw. With a symphony of open mouthed kisses, licks and nibbles I worked my way to his ear; sucking his earlobe into my mouth and biting down gently. A soft moan emitted from Jasper as his hands finally lifted off of the mattress to glide up my bare back and tangle in my already dishevelled curls.

I became lost in the sensations as I trailed my hands back down over the contours of his body, following close behind with my lips and tongue. Taking his left nipple between my lips, grazing it with my teeth while rolling the other between my thumb and forefinger I was rewarded with a rumbling growl and Jasper raising his hips off the bed. Lower and lower, running my cheek over his rock hard abdomen until I was kneeling between his thighs, the evidence of his arousal creating quite the impressive bulge in his sweats.

I had an overwhelming desire, a need almost to bring him to the same heights of pleasure he'd brought me to last night. There was no nervousness and all of the self doubts that often plagued me had vanished. Jasper's arousal projected and combined with my own, not to mention the symphony of growls and moans being emitted from Jasper gave me all the incentive required to hook my thumbs into the waistband of his sweats and tug. Raising his hips was the only aid he gave me in removing the one item of clothing keeping me from my goal.

"My god." I croaked. There were no words that could aptly describe him.

Jasper's throaty chuckle was cut off to be replaced by a guttural groan as I wrapped my fingers around him, unable to completely encase him in my hand.

* * *

**JPOV**

If I thought Bella's warm little hand wrapping around me before she tentatively began stroking my length was the closest I'd ever get to heaven, nothing prepared me for the overwhelming feelings of her hot little puffs of breath as she lowered her mouth towards me.

"Bella..........you d-don't...."

"Shhhh...." She cut off my protests "My turn remember?"

"Woman, you're trying to kill me." I groaned

The sensations she was creating as she pumped up and down with her hand, using her thumb to tease the tip were mind-blowing. She was inflicting the very best kind of torture on me. The urge to make her mine had never been stronger, not even the previous night when I'd worshiped her body with my own hands and mouth. I was relieved to find I still had the sense to remove my hands from her body to grip the headboard behind me, my need to ensure her safety overriding the desire to feel her soft skin beneath my fingertips.

An aura of wonder and curiosity radiated off Bella, but I wasn't left for long to wonder what she could be curious about before her pink tongue darted out, sweeping across the head of my erection; tasting me. Hearing the "mmmm" hummed from Bella's lips caused all presence of mind to escape me. I could only feel. Without anymore preamble her mouth closed over me, her hand still gripping the base. My growls and the pounding of Bella's heart the only sounds my addled mind could register.

The deafening crack of wood splintering jarred me from my bliss filled haze. For a moment I thought I'd lost the tenuous hold I had over my strength. That was until I was struck with the realization that the headboard was still quite whole underneath my iron grasp.

It was then that I heard it.......

Bella's strangled squeal.....

The muttered "Oh fuck." that sounded a lot like Peter coming from the direction of my now annihilated bedroom door.

"Jesus Christ Peter, what the hell?" I roared, sitting up and pulling Bella behind me on pure instinct.

The rational part of my mind knew that Peter would never harm her, however I also knew that my brother was every bit a typical male. A vampire male at that, equipped with a memory which had unlimited capacity. The last thing I wanted was Bella's semi-nude form being stored and used as fodder for Peter's often overactive imagination.

"Before you rip my head off, could you do me a favour and at least put some fucking pants on first?" Peter's raucous laughter only fuelling my rage.

The expression on my face must have been murderous as it didn't take more than a moment for Peter to silence his laughter and begin backing out of the room.

"Peter......" I growled.

"Jazz, I'm sorry man. All I could hear was you growling like an animal and Bella's heart beating like a jackhammer." He began to explain. "Fuck I thought you'd finally snapped and decided to eat her! Little did I know it was little Bella here doing the eating." Peter again failed at holding the burst of laughter back.

I could sense a genuine concern from Peter. There was something he was leaving out of his half-assed explanation. At times it seems Peter knows me better than I know myself. Which means he knows full well the control I now maintain over my bloodlust. There was more to this and I had every intention of finding out what.

The mortification was billowing off of Bella in waves. I could feel the heat flood her body that was pressed against my back, her face buried in the space next to my shoulder. This only served to heighten my protective instincts forcing me to momentarily put aside my curiosity at what had possessed Peter to assume I had 'finally snapped'.

"Five seconds Peter." My tone was flat.

Peter raised an eyebrow in question.

"That's how much of a head start I'll......" A sudden blur behind Peter distracted me for an instant.

"Now now boys, fight nice." Char's lilting voice rang through the room from where she stood at her husband's side. "Hi Bella." She added waving at the blushing girl still huddled behind me.

The ridiculousness of the situation helped to stomp out some of the burning rage festering inside me. "Char, wondered how long it would take you to join the party" My sarcasm hung heavy in the air. I could only begin to wonder what was going through Bella's head. From what I could sense from her she was experiencing a myriad of emotions ranging from embarrassment to annoyance to....no, she couldn't possibly be amused by this. If I hadn't felt it, I'd have thought I was hallucinating when Bella began to giggle.

"You find this funny darlin'?" I peered at her over my shoulder.

Bella pondered my question. "I'd say absurd more aptly describes this Jazz. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand the utter lack of expectation of privacy one has when around vampires but this is pushing it just a little."

This was not the reaction I'd been expecting from her. Tears, crawling back into that armour she tended to have erected around her.....sure, finding the humour in this situation.......never.

"Now if you don't mind...." Bella continued as she reached around in front of me to place a pillow over my quite apparent nudity, her dismissal of the unwelcome visitors in my room obvious.

"Of course, we'll wait for you two downstairs." Char nodded agreeably, a burst of pride emanating from her in Bella's direction as she pulled Peter out of the room. My fear that the two women wouldn't get along all but evaporated.

Pulling Bella from behind me to settle on my lap I held her face between both of my hands, pressing my lips firmly but briefly against hers. "You are unbelievable my Bella." I chuckled.

* * *

**BPOV**

As Jasper and I dressed a recurring thought kept echoing through my mind that I must have some seriously bad karma. Finally.....FINALLY my advances weren't rebuffed by the object of my affection, only to be not only interrupted, but thoroughly busted in the act by his brother. At the rate things were going I was going to be holding on tight to my virginity forever. Although I was embarrassed, mortified even and exceedingly disappointed I wasn't angry. In his own warped way Peter was only trying to protect me.

Jasper on the other hand kept throwing glares at his now splintered bedroom door, growling to quietly for my human ears but I'm sure at a volume meant for Peter's enhanced hearing.

"Jazz?" It almost felt like speaking to him right now would be the equivalent of poking a bear with a stick.

"Yes darlin?" His tone completely changed when he returned his attention to me, away from the vampire sitting in his living room.

"He meant well." I pointed out, not quite believing I was sticking up for Peter.

"I know." He admitted grudgingly. "How is it you're not upset though?"

"Of all the things I've had to be upset or angry over the last little while, this is barely a blip on the radar." I explained to him.

"You're amazing Bella." Jasper grasped my hand as he led me towards the stairs.

"Its a gift." I shrugged, smiling warmly at his laughter.

Jasper led me to the oversized leather sofa, pulling me close to his side as we sat. Char lounged comfortably in the co-ordinating chair while Peter stood against the wall, a wary expression replacing the almost natural smirk I'd seen the night in the club.

"So dipshit, are you going to fix my fucking door?" Jasper eyed Peter with annoyance.

"Everything is already ordered Jazz, Peter will be picking all the supplies up this afternoon.........Right Peter?" Char's expression held exasperation, but otherwise she seemed completely unphased by what had occurred earlier. Then again the impression I'd gotten from Peter was this wasn't something completely out of the norm for him.

"Yes dear." Peter acquiesced, obviously knowing when to pick his battles where his wife was concerned.

"Bella...." Char's attention turned towards me. "You'll have to forgive my husband's poor manners. I was truly hoping to meet you under less awkward circumstances."

Physically, Peter's wife was a girl looking not much older than me. She was stunning of course, straight waist length hair the colour of gingerbread, petite figure similar to my own. Her skin appeared somewhat darker than other's I'd seen of their kind. I attributed it to the fact that she appeared to be of Latino descent. Her eyes, along with Peter's would take some getting used to. Without the benefit of contacts they were almost a deep burgundy, a tell tale sigh of their diet. Char was dressed casually yet stylishly in a pair of dark fitted jeans and a purple long sleeved sweater. She looked so young, however Char's manner hinted at a much older soul; which was so obviously the case.

"I'm good with awkward, believe me." I assured her. My stomach chose that moment to rumble loudly.

"Darlin, I keep forgetting I need to feed you." Jasper rose from the sofa to head to the kitchen with me in tow.

"Thought you already......" Peter began, that cocky smirk back at home on his handsome face.

"Peter!" Both Char and Jasper roared.

"What?" He actually attempted to feign innocence.

Rolling her eyes at her husband Char intercepted me from Jasper. "Bella I won't even pretend that I'm capable of making anything edible, but I can show you around the kitchen." Looking pointedly at Jasper she had only one request "Please attempt not to remove any body parts when you hand him his ass Jazz. You know how he gets when anything has to be reattached."

"No promises." He looked almost menacing standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed across his wide chest; biceps bulging under the sleeves of his shirt.

Damn but he looked smokin' hot when he was like this. The flutter in my belly that only he could provoke coming back to life. Reluctantly I followed Char into the kitchen, my hunger momentarily forgotten when I caught Jasper's wink in my direction coupled with a knowing grin.

* * *

**JPOV**

"Peter what the fuck was all that shit about ?" I turned on my brother who was still leaning against the wall as soon as Bella was out of earshot.

"I told you Jazz.......growling, racing human heartbeat."

"Bullshit, what aren't you saying? Empath, remember Peter." He was being less than truthful and I could sense it.

"Ok, ok.....it was the growling and the heartbeat but there was more. It's like something has you wound up like a snake ready to strike, and I didn't want Bella to be in the way when you did." Peter answered more truthfully. "You and I both know what that would do to you." He was being serious now.

"I wasn't going to hurt her Peter, in fact I was in complete control."

"I didn't know that. It's not like this shit I know is an exact science. I just knew that there was something, and it's still there. Something has you rattled." This wasn't the first time I'd ended up on the short end of the gaps in Peter's gift.

"Alright Yoda, maybe you've sort of got a point." I conceded.

"Never doubted that I did." Peter's almost perpetual cockiness had returned full force.

Bella's admissions last night about the remaining members of James' coven seeking her out combined with her revelation about the wolves had thrown me. I'd been plagued with guilt when we'd left her, not truly believing we were saving her from anything by abandoning her. It was all only made worse knowing I had been the catalyst for our leaving. Hearing my worst fears had come to fruition, that we hadn't saved her from anything but instead had nearly been the cause of her demise had multiplied my guilt three-fold. Nevermind that she'd then had to rely upon our natural enemy for protection. The only thing that could begin to rival my own self loathing was the almost all encompassing rage I harboured for Edward.

Having not gone into any great detail I could only wait for Bella to fill in all the blanks. Regardless of what light she could shed on everything I don't think I would ever be able to understand how she could possibly feel the way I knew her to feel for me considering my family's role in the things that had been forced upon her.

"Events took place in Bella's life after we left Forks...." I attempted to explain to Peter the vibe he was getting from me. "I'd rather wait for Bella though before we discuss it. There are more than a few holes in the bits and pieces she told me last night."

As much as I loathed making Bella relive the things that so nearly destroyed her, this wasn't something that I could just let go.

"Bella." Peter bellowed. "Get in here so your boyfriend will tell me what's got his panties in a bunch."

I could always leave it to Peter to broach a subject with such tact and decorum.


	16. Chapter 16

As usual all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N - I first and foremost need to thank and bow at the feet of my beta Georgia Dawgette. She saved me with this chapter. I struggled immensely with it but she was able to help me bring it all together....THANK YOU!! I also need to thank those that have continued to leave reviews from the beginning as well as new reviewers. Keep it us, reviews make me want to get new chapter out quicker.

**BPOV**

"I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help in here Bella." Char and I were in the kitchen, lounging against the granite topped counters. "Believe it or not, I'm worse than those two buffoons in there at playing human." She motioned towards the living room with her hand.

Char's 'playing human' comment caused me to recollect on some of my initial impressions of Jasper when I'd first encountered the Cullens. Of all of them he'd seemed to fit in the least, not that any of them had really fit into the small town atmosphere of Forks. But more than the others Jasper had always appeared to be the most out of his element, like a square peg attempting without any semblance of success to fit into a round hole. Images of the Jasper I'd first met played through my mind like a slide show. Pained, almost tortured features, his frame always held stiff as though if for even a moment he allowed himself to relax his control would follow. That Jasper was so different from the one only a room away from me right now. However, it was quite simple for me to see that it was not because he'd become more successful at embracing the human role, but rather he'd conquered the inner demon that had chipped away at his control. There was a sense of confidence that he exuded now, that had seemed to lack previously.

I hadn't spent enough time around Peter to judge his ability at maintaining a human facade for any length of time. It was no question that his almost glowing burgundy eyes, when not camouflaged by contacts would be a dead giveaway that he was most definitely not normal. However, he did seem to have a rather relaxed, confident bordering on arrogant countenance to him though, and appeared mostly at ease in the one human situation where I had observed him.

"It's no matter; I'm pretty adept in the kitchen. It won't take me but a minute to whip something up, if I can find where Jasper put everything." I chuckled, bringing my thoughts back to the present as I opened cabinet doors, taking stock of the sheer amount of food Jasper had purchased.

"Jasper put the food away?" Char was incredulous, her lips parted in shock.

"Shopped for them, carried them in, put them away." I pointed out.

"No kidding? Char appeared to be in awe. "Try as I might, I can't imagine the Major grocery shopping." Her gaze seemed far away, as though she was trying to form the picture in her mind.

"The Major? Why do you and Peter call him The Major?" Peter had referenced the moniker the other night at the club. My curiosity was piqued as to why Peter and Char used this title for him.

"Because that's who he is Bella. Major Jasper Whitlock." She vaguely explained. "He was a Major in the Confederate Army during the Civil War.

"There's more to it than that Char. Peter mentioned 'provoking the major', like it was a separate entity from Jasper." I wasn't going to give in that easily.

"Peter always does say more than he should as do I occasionally" Char sighed. "Bella, this is Jazz's story to tell. Just give him time, it's hard for him to relive that period of his existence."

"The scars?" I questioned.

Char nodded, as a dull ache began to settle in my chest. I'd known last night as soon as I'd seen them that there was only one thing that could leave scars like the ones that marred his body. I ran my finger over the raised, cool flesh of the crescent shaped scar on my arm; remnants of my run in with James. Surprisingly though it had been ages since I'd associated it with James. After they'd all left me it had been one of the few things I could look on as concrete evidence that they'd existed. It was the one thing Edward hadn't been able to take with him. My memories aside, my one scar could not compare with the hundreds I'd seen covering large portions of Jasper's chest, arms and shoulders. I couldn't begin to fathom the extreme violence his past held. I could, I would wait for him to be ready to share his story with me.

Watching me absently trace the scar on my arm, Char placed a hand on my shoulder. "Your strength amazes me Bella. To be human and live to tell about the things you've experienced from our world and yet still possess the ability to love one of us so passionately."

"You take the good with the bad Char. If everything that has happened was what needed to occur to lead me to Jasper then it was all worth it." The truth behind my words hit me as they left my mouth. I'd go through it again, all of it; so long as it was Jasper waiting for me at the end of it. He was worth it, the thought a bittersweet reminder of what Jasper had said to me at one point during those abysmal days spent in Phoenix on the run from James and his coven. He'd assured me I was worth it, worth the danger his family was in; worth the trouble and distress that I had felt I'd brought down on them.

"You are a very special human Bella." Char wrapped me in an amazingly soft embrace. There wasn't even a hint of hesitation on her part, leading me to believe that she like Peter kept a firm hold on their bloodlust.

Our bonding moment was cut short when Peter bellowed from the living room, "Bella, get in here so you're boyfriend will tell me what's got his panties in a bunch."

"That's my man, always so sensitive to the feelings of others." Char rolled her eyes, but the affection she felt for her husband was evident in her tone.

With my pursuit for breakfast interrupted I grabbed an apple and a bottle of juice from the fridge, deciding I'd find something more substantial after dealing with whatever it was Peter wanted.

Peter was leaning against the wall, appearing not to have moved since we'd left the room. Jasper was no longer sitting but was now standing stoically across the room from Peter. Dark, angry looking clouds swirling across an overcast sky were visible through the large picture window that was an ominous backdrop to Jasper's tense stance. The heavy down pouring of rain only added to the dreariness outside.

"What are you going on about Peter?" Char led the way into the living room, chastising her husband as she took a seat.

"Jazz here is all pissed about something but he refuses to discuss it until he has a chance to talk to Bella." Peter looked at me pointedly. I was suddenly wracked with fear that I'd done something to upset Jasper.

"D-did I do something?" I stammered. As confident as I'd been up to this point, the irrational fear that I could lose all this, lose him reared its ugly head. I couldn't go back to life without him, not now; not ever. My hands raked through my hair as I looked rapidly between the two men. I was wracking my brain for anything I might have done that would have upset him. Logically I couldn't think of anything, but it hadn't been a decision based in reason the last time someone else determined what was in my best interest.

"Dammit Peter." Jasper growled, stalking to my side to wrap his arms around me. I was powerless to control the feelings of fear, loss and most of all abandonment overtaking me. "Darlin' I'm not upset with you and even if I was, I am not my brother. You and I are a team, we make our decisions together." Jasper's fingers feathered across my jaw as he turned my face up to his, a blanket of calm settling over me; no doubt courtesy of the man who held me so tenderly in his embrace. "Besides Bella I will never leave you, could never leave you." He punctuated his words with a soft brush of his lips against mine.

Relief flooded through me as Jasper's assurances permeated my panic stricken mind. "I'm sorry, it's just..." The myriad of emotions welling up in me choked off my words.

"Bella.....I know." Jasper's words so simple said so much to me. He understood my insecurities and still wanted me in spite of them.

"I suppose I was a bit vague." Peter appeared to be at least somewhat apologetic over my mini breakdown.

"You think?" Char levelled him with a disapproving glare.

Ignoring his wife Peter returned his attention to me. Jasper had settled us on the sofa, his arm draped protectively around me. "What I meant to convey Bella is that I get the feeling Jasper here is wound so tight he's about ready to snap. Apparently it has something to do with events that took place after the Cullen's left Forks."

"Why didn't you say something Jazz?" I placed my hand softly against his cold cheek, needing to maintain contact with him.

"I believe I got a little distracted" Jasper and I shared a conspiratory glance at each other, memories of the previous night flashed through my mind. It had been my first real taste of intimacy, something I'd never shared with anyone else, and now couldn't imagine ever wanting to.

"Alright you two, enough of that or we're never going to get this settled." Surprisingly it was from Char that we received the admonishment. "Jazz you know as well as I do what Peter is like once he's made up his mind. So unless you'd enjoy having him here for the rest of the weekend, I suggest we carry on."

"We were uh, discussing Edward last night." I offered. "Jasper was able to clear up a few misconceptions I held as to why Edward and the rest of the family left Forks.........and me."

I was shocked at how calmly I was able to relay mine and Jasper's conversation from the previous night. Starting with his admission that Edward had left under the delusion that he was protecting me from their world, culminating in my confession that he'd done nothing of the sort. That not only Laurent, but Victoria herself had come for me, seeking retribution for James' destruction and an abridged version of the role the wolf pack had played in ensuring my safety and survival.

I could feel nothing being projected from Jasper, however his physical state gave away how hearing of these events was affecting him. Fists clenched, eyes black; he appeared to be holding onto his control just barely.

"Bella maybe you should come over here." Char kept her voice low so as to avoid eliciting a reaction from Jasper.

Shaking my head, I mouthed the word "no" in Char's direction. My faith in Jasper was complete, I knew without any doubt whatsoever that he would never harm me.

"It's ok, he's fine." Peter assured. "He's not out of control, he is just trying not to project what he's feeling on to the rest of us. It's a strain on him, but he's in complete control otherwise." He explained. It was eerie how well Peter could read him.

"Jazz look at me." I curled my body as close to his as I could while still maintaining eye contact. "I'm here, I'm safe." I crooned to him. "It's all in the past, both Laurent and Victoria are dead. They can't hurt me now."

I continued to speak to Jasper in low, dulcet tones. I focused every ounce of the calm I'd forced myself to contain in his direction, hoping he'd be able to absorb even a fraction of it. Ever so slowly he seemed to come around, his eyes returning to their normal caramel colour; the tension in his body ebbing away.

I knew he was back from whatever dark place his mind had attempted to take him when he lowered his head, his lips sweeping tenderly over mine after a whispered "Thank you."

"That's fucking outstanding." Peter murmured. "Never have I seen anyone be able to chill his ass out that fast. You're something special Bella."

"Yes she is." Jasper's voice was gravely, as if he was parched.

I couldn't help but feel slightly awed that I'd been able to help him when usually the tables were turned and it was Jasper aiding me. What I couldn't figure out was how I had done it, secretly hoping it hadn't merely been a fluke.

"Are you ok for me to continue?" I asked, worried that he may need to hunt before he was able to handle full disclosure. I was unsure and lacking confidence that I would be able to pull off the somewhat astounding feat of calming him more than once.

"I'm good, I have it under control." Jasper assured me.

"You have to understand how things were for me after everyone left. The life I had planned, assumed was going to happen was over. It was like a whole part of me went with you all. It wasn't just Edward I missed, I longed for......it was all of you." My gaze met Jasper's and I saw the flash of guilt cross his features. I didn't stop however; I needed to get this all out while I was still in this calm and focused frame of mind.

I recounted how I had sought out the meadow that Edward and I had frequented, needing to feel some connection to the man and family I had lost. It was there that I'd come across Laurent.

"He told me that Victoria had sent him, to see if I was still protected."

"Laurent knew damn well we were no longer in Forks. He was in Denali, apparently mated to Irina when the family arrived there." Jasper's growl bordered on ferocious.

"He didn't appear surprised to find me alone. I have always wondered if he'd already known you were all gone." Laurent's nonchalance at finding me alone in the forest now made far more sense.

The next part of my encounter with Laurent was going to be the hardest for Jasper to hear. Fearing his reaction I maintained close contact, hoping to keep him serene throughout what I was about to divulge.

"According to Laurent, Victoria wanted revenge for James' death. A mate for a mate he said. This made no sense to me, I wasn't Edward's mate, I wasn't anything to him anymore." The rejection and abandonment I'd felt when Edward had left, feelings I'd thought resolved but now realized had merely lain dormant, threatened to surface. Keeping these emotions at bay was growing more difficult as I retold of these moments, but I had to try for Jasper. If I lost it, if I broke down, there would be no chance of him keeping it together.

"He said the scent of my blood was too delicious to just leave and that he'd do me a favour by killing me himself. Quicker, less painful he promised. Victoria would draw it out, play with me first if he left me for her." I didn't dare tell Jasper how I was ready to die that day in the meadow. The depths of my depression knew no bounds at that point, death would have been a reprieve from it all. Only the loss that I was certain Charlie would feel over my death caused me any distress.

Jasper remained silent next to me, the previous tension only mildly returning to his body. I was certain he was maintaining control simply for my benefit.

"I heard the wolves before I saw them, how I don't know because they were huge, enormous even." My eyes widened to punctuate my point. "They went straight for Laurent, and I ran. It wasn't until much later when I discovered what and who the wolves were that I knew for sure I wouldn't have to worry about Laurent seeking me out again."

"I can't decide if you are the luckiest human alive, or the unluckiest." Peter shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around all that I was telling them.

"A little of both" I conceded.

"Victoria....what happened with her?" Jasper's voice had yet to return to its typical deep delicious tone, but instead remained hoarse.

"She was more a perceived threat than anything overt, she never did come after me directly." I assured him. "The pack tracked her for weeks, even managed to surround her a time or two but she continued to allude them."

"They obviously were able to trap her if she's dead." Peter observed.

"Uh huh." I nodded my head. "I don't know the details, I never asked and Jacob and the rest of the pack never offered. All I know is she messed up on one of the few times the more experienced of the pack were able to track and surround her. Jacob assured me that she would no longer be an issue, I was safe. Jacob and Sam did however say that there was a young vampire with her, a newborn they presumed. They said she called him Riley."

"What happened to him?" Peter's question was aimed at me, yet his stare was levelled at Jasper.

"He got away."

_Jacob had been livid when the pack had returned to La Push where I was being kept 'for my protection' according to Jacob and Sam. Paul, Quil, and Jared had all been in a celebratory mood, fresh off their kill of a vampire they'd been hunting for months. Sam had been much more reserved, but Jacob had been nearly uncontrollable. It had taken an alpha order from Sam to finally calm him. Sam had explained to me that although they'd been able to destroy Victoria, her companion had gotten away. The pack had been able to see in Jacob's thoughts that his rage was a result of fear, a near panic that the young vampire that had escaped would seek retribution for the loss of his creator. He had later told me that he felt that he'd failed me in some way. For weeks the wolves had scoured the town, the forest, and the surrounding mountains and beaches seeking out Riley's scent. Eventually over time Jacob and the rest of the pack had accepted with a certain degree of caution that he was not returning. _

My memories of those days were still so vivid, but they no longer brought on the feelings of unease.

If Jasper or Peter had any thoughts about what I'd just disclosed, neither voiced them.

"Bella I don't know how you can be so calm?" Char moved to sit close to my other side.

"I've had time to come to terms with much of this. Besides, Jasper is helping me." I leaned my head against his chest.

"But I'm not projecting anything baby. So how?" Jasper asked clearly confused.

"You don't have to Jazz. If I don't keep it together, neither will you." I answered truthfully. I'd always been quite adept at keeping my emotions in check, or rather shutting them down completely, but this was different. I wasn't shutting down, I was merely determined that I wouldn't let the memories overwhelm me.

"Bella, you don't always have to be the strong one." There was no scolding in Jasper's words. They were more like a plea as he wrapped his muscular arms around me effectively pressing our bodies entirely together.

The closeness of his body, although cold was anything but uncomfortable. I found myself wanting to be closer, cursing the layers between us. At that moment I'd have given anything for our earlier privacy as a symphony of emotions rolled through me. Comfort, contentment, delight, desire, longing......all intertwined.

"Reign it in you two. We're not finished here. You can crawl all over each other when we are." Leave it to Peter to ruin a moment. "These wolves Bella, they're dangerous; apparently to our kind in particular."

"Yeah that's the thing." I gnawed at my lower lip nervously. "Vampires are, well sort of their natural enemy...But..." I raised my hand to stave off being interrupted "There is a treaty between them and the Cullen's'. So long as the treaty isn't broken they can co-exist."

Jasper had only nodded in agreement at my explanation. I imagined that Carlisle had filled him in on the Quileute's and the terms of the treaty when he and Alice had joined the family.

"And how much contact do you still have with them?" Peter had a contemplative look on his face, his tone serious.

"Physically......none since I've moved here, but I usually speak to Jacob on the phone every few days. Why?"

"Whose Jacob?" Peter questioned.

I'd mentioned Jacob's name last night to Jasper, and how he'd saved me after Edward had left. At the time there had been no questions asked however I wasn't at all surprised to see Jasper paying rapt attention, awaiting my answer to Peter's enquiry.

"In regards to the pack, or to me?" I asked.

"Both I suppose."

"Jacob is my closest friend in Forks, without him I don't think I'd be here now. Not just because he's part of the pack, but because he was the only one that was able to help me crawl out of the depression I was in. Honestly, he was my sun when everything around me was so dark" I took a shuddering breath. Speaking of Jacob and all he'd done for me was the one thing that could crack the calm facade I'd been maintaining. "As for the pack, I guess he'd be the second in command, for now."

"For now?" Peter quirked an eyebrow.

"He is meant to be alpha, once he's ready. Jacob is barely 18, he's still very much a boy."

"You miss him." Jasper's whispered. It was a statement rather than a question, but his tone held no accusation.

"I do, very much. I can't begin to describe what he means to me, we share a bond. I love Jacob, like a sister for her brother" I felt the need to reassure him. "It's not like us Jazz, not how I love you." I kept my eyes locked with his, letting everything I felt for him flow through me; knowing he would feel it.

Seeming to get his bearings Jasper unwrapped his arms from around me and stood. "I think we've had enough of this for today." His voice was authoritative. "So as much as I generally enjoy your company." Jasper addressed both Char and Peter. "I would like some time alone with Bella."

Seeing disappointment settle across Char's face I offered up an invitation for later in the evening. "How about tonight you both come over and we'll watch a movie, or something." Looking towards Jasper, I hoped he wouldn't be too upset with me making plans without first consulting him. I was pleasantly surprised to see a smile gracing his chiseled features.

"Sounds wonderful Bella!" Char's disappointment vanished, her earlier radiance reappearing. "Come Peter, lets give these two some privacy." She pushed her husband towards the door, giving him very little opportunity to argue.

"Bye Jazz, Bella.........don't do anything I wouldn't do." His raucous laughter following him out the door.

Once Char and Peter had left the silence in the room was nearly deafening. Jasper seemed to be frozen. Moving to stand behind him I placed one hand on his shoulder, while resting my face against the tense muscles in his back.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." My words muffled against his back.

"Upset me? Bella you've only proved today everything I've been saying." Jasper turned, his hands grasping my shoulders lightly as he held me away from him. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. Your strength, your ability to forgive, the passion with which you love with your whole heart. It never fails to astound me. Even the kindness you showed Char today, after everything you've been through and knowing what her diet is."

"She seems......lonely." I shrugged.

Despite my relative discomfort with her diet, I found myself genuinely liking Char and enjoying her company. She reminded me of the three female members of the family I still ached for. I could see hints of a tenacious and stubborn spirit so much like Rosalie. A protectiveness and genuine love for those she considered family similar to Esme. Char's acceptance and sheer friendly nature were reminiscent of the one Cullen I missed above all others.......Alice.

"Still so modest my Bella." Jasper chuckled, running his cold hands that had been resting on my shoulders down my arms.

I looked down, a blush staining my cheeks as I shook my head. I'd never done well with compliments. Nevermind the fact that his propensity for that particular endearment was enough to make me weak in the knees. As a general rule I have never been the type to swoon, but without fail every time 'My Bella' fell from his lips; I turned to jello.

"Anyway, we've both had an emotionally trying time, and I don't know about you but I could use a nap." Jasper drawled with a spark of mischief in his beautiful eyes.

"You don't.......ohhhhhh." It sank in slowly. "Yeah, umm I'm feeling a little worn out as well." Faking a yawn I grinned. "But not too worn out." I was quick to add, emphasising the 'too'.

Jasper laughed loudly before bending to wrap his long fingers around my waist, only to toss me over his shoulder and dash at a little less than vampire speed towards the stairs leading to his bedroom.

Squealing in surprise, I couldn't help but dissolve into a fit of giggles at his silliness. It was refreshing after the morning we'd had.


	17. Chapter 17

**All Characters as well as all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N I apologize for the delay in updating. I got a wee bit tied up in the Olympics. I was hoping to update over the weekend but I got more than a bit tied up in Olympic hockey. Being Canadian is my only defence! **

**I so need to thank my beta, Georgia Dawgette for her help with this chapter. I had a mini meltdown and completely blanked on how to finish this chapter. Without her it would have probably been another week wait for this one. Thank you again to everyone who continues to review, they inspire me to keep writing. Also thanks to those that have added this story to their favorites and alerts. **

**BPOV**

One moment we were at the bottom of the stairs, the next I was being dumped, rather unceremoniously onto Jasper's expansive mattress, the blankets still a rumpled mess from this morning. A deep chuckle emanated from the culprit, where he stared down at me from the foot of the bed.

"Such a romantic you are Jazz." I leaned back amongst the tangle of blankets and pillows, propped on my elbows. A glare on my face, yet I was unable to keep the amusement out of my voice. "The whole caveman routine is quite seductive." I rolled my eyes for effect.

"So it's romance you want huh? To be seduced?" One long leg bent at the knee rose to kneel on the bed, followed slowly by the other; the mattress dipped under his dense weight. Jasper's tawny eyes locked onto mine as he knelt at my feet, and he ever so gently raised them to rest atop his muscular thighs. "Why didn't you say so darlin'?"

A feeling of anticipation coiled tightly in my belly, my desire for him reaching a fever pitch. I was quite aware that this time we would not be interrupted and I couldn't help but wonder if we had finally gotten to the point where he would fully make me his. I was quite aware that he was cognizant of my response to his touch, his voice; and all it implied. My heart beat at a rapid pace, my breaths becoming short little puffs, nevermind the waves of wanton desire most likely spiralling from me to him. Part of me was disconcerted that he was able to feel even the minutest change in me whether it be physical or emotional. However, the majority of my being was grateful that I did not have to spell things out for him, no fear of miscommunication as to what I wanted.

"Baby you are so warm, so soft." His strong, cold hands encasing my denim clad legs as he ever so lightly ran them up and down the length of my calves. The contrast of his alabaster skin against the dark denim mesmerized me as I watched his hands move from my ankles to my knees, his thumbs barely brushing against my inner thigh just above my knee; before retreating back to my bare ankles.

.

Careful of placing any of his weight on me, he stealthily, with an almost feline grace inched his way up my legs; only to settle himself back on his heels over my knees. His hands continued to illicit responses from me as he ran his flattened palms over the tops of my thighs, around to my hips; his straying thumbs ever so gently grazing over my hip bones.

Jasper's face remained impassive, nearly impossible to read. The only proof that he was as affected by his action as I, was the darkening of his once tawny eyes, and the deep breaths he drew. I, on the other hand, was a near trembling mess by the time his hands began to skate under the hem of my shirt to trace over the bare skin of my abdomen. Jasper's long fingers spanned my waist as he moved his hands up my torso to just below my lace covered breasts. His teasing touches were enough to nearly drive me mad. The icy coolness of his fingers setting off sparks on my skin, a seductive companion to the throbbing ache between my thighs.

"Jasper." I moaned breathlessly "Please."

"Please what darlin?" A throaty chuckle accompanied his enquiry.

"Touch me." My hands rested on his rock hard thighs, fingers curled, nails digging into denim that was stretched over unrelenting marble.

"Oh but sweetheart, I am touching you." His tone was teasing and seductive. "Or did you have some place particular in mind?"

Fluidly Jasper arranged our bodies so that we were kneeling, our knees grazing against each other. Dipping his head, his long fingers brushed the blanket of my hair aside as he lowered his lips to nuzzle at my neck "Like here?" His icy breath puffing against the sensitive skin of my throat caused a shiver to race up my spine. Jasper's lips glided to my ear, his tongue swirling around the lobe before he whispered, "Or here?"

I groaned my impatience, the sound a mixture of yearning and frustration as he continued to torture me with feather light kisses along my jaw; his strong hands lightly grasping my hips. Curling my fingers around the hem of his shirt I tugged up, hoping to impart the need I had to feel the coolness of his skin against the heat of my own.

"Patience Bella." Jasper whispered as his strong hands, which had been resting on my hips, glided upwards ever so slowly divesting me of my own shirt. "We have plenty of ......." A piercing ring from Jasper's pocket interrupted his words. "Shit!" Reaching into his pocket he gave me an apologetic look before explaining. "It's Alice sweetheart, I have to answer. It could be important."

"Sure, I understand." I said over the lump of disappointment that was lodged in my throat. Part of me was crushed that our attempts at being intimate had been foiled, while another part longed to have contact with the culprit responsible for the interruption. With as much grace as I could muster I climbed off the bed, needing to distance myself while he spoke to Alice. Retrieving my shirt from the floor, where Jasper had unceremoniously tossed it, I padded to the bathroom. The click of the door shutting blocked out Jasper's greeting as he answered the phone.

Bracing my hands on the vanity I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Flushed cheeks, dishevelled hair. Guilt spiked through me. While Jasper had assured me that Alice was beyond ecstatic that we'd found each other, I couldn't help but feel as though I was taking something from her. Until I could hear from Alice that we had her blessing, I did not think anything would be able to convince me that I hadn't in some way wronged my best friend, my sister.

As for once again having our lovemaking interrupted, I was starting to believe that the fates had a hand in it. Jasper had reiterated to me how Alice had been adamant that the road would not be clear for us until I faced and resolved things once and for all with Edward. Maybe this was fates way of backing her up. It was either that or Jasper and I just had terrible luck. Either way, the earlier mood had been broken. All I truly felt up to now was a shower, hoping the hot water could soothe some of my insecurities and frustrations away.

* * *

**JPOV**

Hearing the click of the bathroom door I felt Bella's absence immediately. Where moments ago her warmth had surrounded me I now felt........bereft. Sighing I flipped open my phone, the ring tone already giving away who would be on the other end. "Alice this better fucking be good." I hissed.

"Whoa Jazz, why so hostile?" The little all seeing pixie on the other end of the line not convincing me that she wasn't aware of what she'd interrupted. I was nearly overcome by the urge to toss the offending phone away and go after Bella. The only thing that stopped me was my paranoia that something could be wrong. Although Alice and I still spoke fairly regularly, never twice in two days.

"Don't feed me that shit Alice. I know you watch my future." There wasn't anyone that knew Alice better than I.

"Jazz for obvious reasons there are certain hmm, visions I make a point of blocking. As happy as I am for you and Bella, I don't need details." She explained. Alice and I always had a way of communicating without having to spell everything out. Therefore it was not the least bit surprising that she'd picked up on exactly what event in my life I had assumed she had foreseen, and effectively ground to a halt.

I knew Alice did not have a vindictive bone in her body, but I was having a hard time reigning in my emotions, especially with the image of Bella looking almost entirely dejected imprinted on my mind. The disappointment that had radiated from her as she'd left the room, combined with the feelings of guilt and frustration flowing from beyond the bathroom door, were not lending any strength to my emotional stability.

"I apologize Alice, it's just somewhat of an emotional minefield around here at the moment." I knew it was no excuse for snapping at her, however, knowing Alice she would understand.

"It's fine Jazz, no harm done. Now as for what I called about." She chirped, my harsh words apparently already forgiven. "I'm flying out of Fairbanks at seven tomorrow morning and I'll be arriving in New Orleans at 9:23 tomorrow night."

"You're what?" This was not something I'd been expecting, not so soon anyway. Then again, I shouldn't have been at all shocked seeing as how Alice thrived on surprises.

"I'm coming there." She stated simply. "It's getting increasingly difficult to keep Edward out of my head. Even I only have so many items in my wardrobe that I can take inventory of, and as soon as I begin translating anything into a foreign language he gets suspicious. Besides, Bella needs me."

"Bella needs you?" I questioned.

"She does. Let me guess." She began much to my amusement. Something Alice never had to do was guess. "You're being bombarded with feelings of guilt from the bathroom?"

"I thought you blocked these visions out Alice." I growled, now doubting her earlier declaration that visions of mine and Bella's more intimate moments were blocked.

"Don't be so obtuse Jazz, of course I block those ones out. This is different. Bella is in pain and I cannot ignore it any longer. I spent years doing that and I'm done. She needs me, so I'm coming."

"Why do you think it's you she needs Alice?" I cringed, hoping the way I'd phrased my enquiry wouldn't offend her.

"For someone so attuned to the feelings of others you are still such a man Jasper Whitlock!" She admonished. "Bella is feeling guilty because she thinks she's betraying me by being with you."

"That's ridiculous; I told her we had your blessing." I assured my former wife who was beginning to grate upon my last nerve.

"She needs to hear it from me Jazz. Please take my word for it. It's going to eat at her until I tell her myself just how okay I am with this turn of events. Besides, she misses me; and I her." I had no doubt Alice was telling me the truth. If there was one thing I could be certain of, it was that she would never steer me wrong or purposely deceive me to get her own way.

I sighed, quite aware that this was a battle I was not going to win. Truth be told I wasn't sure I wanted to. Bella's longing to see Alice had been quite obvious to me, and realistically there was very little I would be able to deny her. "Alright Alice, you win. Will you need me to pick you up from the airport?"

"Of course not silly. I've already arranged for a rental and I know my way to Char and Peter's." She giggled, her excitement over the imminent reunion with Bella apparent in her voice.

"I'll prepare Bella, we both know how well surprises go over with her." I stifled a groan, the image of an angry Bella crossing my mind.

"Alright Jazz, now go cheer her up and I'll see you both tomorrow." Alice's lilting voice a welcome interruption to the pissed off human I was currently imagining.

"Alright Ali, til' tomorrow." I heard the click in my ear as she hung up.

Sitting on the end of the bed I was torn over whether to join Bella in the bathroom, or wait for her to come to me. Hearing the shower turn on, fully aware that it meant Bella was only feet away from me wet and naked did absolutely nothing for my control. Making a split second decision I rapidly disposed of my clothing before entering the steam filled bathroom.

Even through the haze it took no effort with my eyesight to make out Bella's alluring form behind the frosted glass of the shower doors. Her curvy silhouette, legs so long for someone so petite, dark mantle of hair flowing down her back in wet curls; she was perfection. The aroma of her strawberry shampoo combined with her own unique scent was tantalizing. Rather than the jolt of desire I anticipated feeling, I was instead struck with a tug of tenderness as I looked upon the amazing creature that was Bella.

There had been no shift in her emotions since I'd entered the room, making it obvious that she didn't know I was there. Gingerly I slid open the shower door and stepped in behind Bella. Resting my hands on the silky skin of her shoulders I dipped my head to place a chaste kiss against the back of her neck. "Thought you might like some company." I murmured hoping my presence wouldn't upset her more. My comment was met with silence, though I could feel no anger coming from her.

Bella showed no reaction, no emotion whatsoever to my presence. Her eyes were open but she didn't seem to recognize that I was even there with her.

"I'm sorry darlin'. Please don't shut me out." I pleaded with her. Panic gripped me, a sense of dread settling in my stomach, fearing that Bella had possibly been pushed to far this time. Of all the mistakes I'd made in my existence, this I was certain would be the only one that could destroy me if I didn't fix it.

* * *

**BPOV**

I felt Jasper's body stiffen behind me and sensed something else.........anxiousness, panic. Both were strong enough to crack the shell I'd wrapped myself in, needing to block out the negative feelings threatening to overshadow all my newfound happiness. It was a defense mechanism I'd perfected after Edward had left me. I'd over time gotten to the point that I was able to block out the pain that had for so long continually tried to drag me down, often for days at a time. The downside however was that same shell also kept anything good out, essentially cutting me off from the world around me.

The emotions projecting off of Jasper had been enough to pull me out of myself. A desire to ease his worries far surpassing the need to bury things I didn't want to feel. Turning to face Jasper, unconcerned with my nudity I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I'm not angry Jasper." I mumbled into his broad chest.

With his index finger under my chin he lifted my face. The sight of his eyes, filled with emotion, was nearly my undoing. I was hit with the realization that I was hurting him.

"Bella, please do not ever shut me out." Jasper's voice was tortured.

"I-I'm sorry." I stammered, lowering my eyes.

"You have nothing to apologize for darlin'. I just want you to know you don't have to do it all on your own all the time. Let me be here for you Bella."

I nodded my head, tears threatening to overwhelm me. It had been so long since I'd felt like I was a part of something. Jasper's words made me feel as though we truly were a team, and that we'd face everything that would come our way together. There was one thing however that he couldn't give me, for that I needed Alice. But that was a discussion that could wait for later. With our water slicked bodies flush against each other, I refocused my attention on the specimen of perfection who was currently feathering his fingertips lightly up and down my arms. I was torn, I so badly wanted Alice's blessing but I craved his touch.

Jasper reached for my bath sponge and shower gel that I had set on one of the built-in shower shelves. Pouring a generous amount of the strawberry scented liquid onto the sponge he created a lather between his hands. Almost as if he could read my mind as well as he read my emotions, he swiped the foam covered sponge gently across my still too tense shoulders. Without a word he continued to lather my body with the sweet smelling foam, massaging my taut muscles with what I was sure was just the slightest bit of pressure; only a small fraction of what he was truly capable of. As comforting and relaxing as it was to have the puffy pink sponge massage the tension out of me under Jasper's guiding hand, it wasn't what my body was truly yearning for.

Watching rivulets of water trail down Jasper's chest I was nearly mesmerized. Raising my face to look up into his I was a little taken aback to see that his face was completely relaxed, eyes closed, his lips just slightly parted. He appeared so peaceful, which was one expression I wasn't sure I'd ever seen grace his beautiful features. With a sigh I rested my cheek against his hard body, a sense of contentment I'd never before felt washing over me.

"My Bella." I heard Jasper softly murmur before I felt his lips against the top of my head. With those two simple words all the earlier doubts and insecurities took a back seat to the swell of love that consumed me.

* * *

**JPOV**

Bella and I had easily drained the contents of my overly large hot water tank with the length of time we'd spent in the shower. It had been tender and sensuous however, not overtly sexual in any way. We had held each other, while intermittently exchanging soft caresses and lingering kisses. By the time the rapidly cooling water had forced us out of our sanctuary Bella's emotions had improved immensely. We or rather I had then been distracted by a rumbling that was most obviously Bella's stomach voicing its hunger. Bella though had merely giggled over my distress that I'd forgotten her need for food, before assuring me she was indeed a big girl and quite capable taking care of her human needs. I was definitely not in my element, the self assuredness that was second nature for me was almost non-existent when it came to Bella. The predilection I had to treat her with kid gloves would have to cease, as it was increasing my stress level exponentially. Besides, I was quite sure Bella did not appreciate it; although she was much too kind to call me out on it.

Perched on the ledge of one of the dark granite countertops in my kitchen, I watched Bella as she ate a sandwich she'd thrown together for herself. I silently mused about how long I would be able to put off the conversation I knew couldn't be avoided. Not only had I yet to inform Bella of Alice's impending visit, we hadn't spoken at all about why or even how she'd been able to almost entirely close her emotions off from me. I had also sensed that there was something Bella wanted to tell me, although it was impossible to pinpoint exactly what it could be. There wasn't going to be any easy way to start this conversation, so now was as good a time as any to test taking off those kid gloves.

"Bella, about the call from Alice....." I started

"Jazz, I need to see her, talk to her, something." She interrupted before I could let her in on the details.

"I know." Sliding off the counter I took my time walking to where Bella was standing across the room.

"But how?' The confused look on her beautiful face, a match to what I felt from her.

"Alice told me." What I didn't tell Bella was how it goaded me that Alice had been correct when she'd told me of Bella's need for her.

"Of course she did." Bella nodded, as though it all made sense now.

Taking a deep breath that I didn't require, I said the words that she'd either loathe or love. I was betting on the latter considering her confession about needing to see or talk to Alice. "She's coming here Bella." I could sense disbelief.

"W-what?" She stammered.

"Alice will be here in the morning darlin'."

A/N Due to the number of stories being removed from this site and knowing the future content of this story I've begun posting this story at The Writer's Coffee Shop as well. I've put a link on my profile.


	18. Chapter 18

**As usual everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. **

**A/N So Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Unfortunately life got in the way of my writing time. Hopefully there won't be such a delay between chapters again. Occasionally it may be unavoidable that it takes me a little longer to post updates but I can guarantee you that they will come. I won't ever abandon this story. **

**Once again a million thanks to my beta Georgia Dawgette. She has amazing insight, and her ideas add much to this story! As always thanks to those that have read, reviewed, added this story as a favorite, etc. I know I'm horrible at answering reviews but I do read every single one and hopefully throughout this week I will get to replying to them. I love reading everyone's thoughts, comments, ideas, etc. Also they really give me the incentive to buckle down and write.**

* * *

**BPOV**

I couldn't be sure I'd heard him correctly. Had Jasper really said Alice would be here tomorrow? To say I was stunned would be putting it mildly. For the past two years I'd longed to see Alice again; to hear her angelic voice just one more time. The only thing that had stopped me from begging Jasper to let me speak with her when she'd phoned earlier was the guilt I'd felt as soon as he had told me who was calling.

Only a moment ago I had told Jasper that I needed to see Alice, and now that he was telling me her arrival was imminent I didn't know how I felt about it. I just wasn't able to resolve my affection for my friend and the desire for her to be happy with my complete inability to ever give Jasper up now that we'd found each other. I could only hope that Jasper's assurance that Alice had accepted us as a couple was accurate.

Focusing my attention back on Jasper, I quickly realized from the pain filled look on his face that I was hitting him with a barrage of my rapidly fluctuating emotions. From panic to excitement, elation to fear; they ran the gamut. Where was that annoying cheerleader that had taken up residence in my psyche when I needed her, telling me this was what I wanted, what I'd been waiting for. Why couldn't she chill me out this time?

"Sorry Jazz." Now, to top it all off I felt horrible that Jasper had to experience everything I just did. "I'm killing you here aren't I?"

"No, no........It's alright darlin'. I probably shouldn't have sprung it on you like that." He was noticeably cringing at the effort to reflect calm onto me. "After telling me you wanted to see her, I was somewhat under the impression this would be welcomed news."

"It is!" I was quick to assure him. "It's just so.........sudden." Jasper engulfed me in his powerful arms, my face buried against his shoulder, while I allowed the feel of him against me combined with deep breaths to calm me.

Leaning back while keeping his arms around me Jasper arched his eyebrow "You okay?"

"Yeah........yeah, I think so." I nodded my head with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, hoping to convince the empath staring down at me. Truthfully though I wasn't entirely sure that I was okay. As much as I mostly trusted in Jasper's love for me, I couldn't help but worry about what Alice's arrival could mean for us. I knew I couldn't possibly measure up to her perfection, and he had chosen to be with her once before. What if next to her he saw me for what I was.......plain, ordinary, human.

* * *

**JPOV**

After guiding Bella into the living room, we settled ourselves against the overstuffed cushions of the sofa; Bella shifted her body so that she could stretch out comfortably, her head resting in my lap while she closed her eyes. A soft sigh of contentment escaped from between her alluring pink lips. I noticed that the overcast skies from this morning had turned nearly black, making it appear as though it was evening rather than only mid-afternoon. Although not close enough for human ears to pick up, I could hear the faint rumblings of thunder, a storm was definitely brewing. It felt almost prophetic in a way. Alice was only the tip of the iceberg. If I was being realistic, I'd have to admit that I had known from the second Bella re-entered my life that our being together meant putting her on a collision course with Edward. As much as I fought against it, I knew Alice had merely confirmed my own realization that Bella would eventually have to resolve her past with my brother. I could only hope that when the day came that Bella and Edward were again face to face, that my inadequacies next to the golden boy wouldn't be glaringly obvious to her. Not only was Edward her first love, he also didn't carry half the baggage or scars that I did.

What I hadn't been able to anticipate was Bella's reaction to the news that Alice would arrive tomorrow. All in all it had gone fairly well, aside from the near panic attack that is. I was relieved albeit, somewhat perplexed, when the myriad of emotions that had seemed to rocket from her vanished as rapidly as they'd appeared. It amazed me that she was able to control them to the point that I could barely detect that she was feeling anything.

"Bella?" I looked down at the stunning creature resting on my lap as I began to run my fingers through her thick curls.

"Mmmhmmm...." She mumbled.

"May I ask you something darlin?" Bella's ability to either control her emotions, or block me outright from feeling them was perplexing. It was similar to walking into a room blindfolded. Gauging the emotional climate of my environment had become second nature to me, and although most of the time I'd rather not experience the range of feelings around me, it was somewhat disconcerting to find that I couldn't always use my ability around the one person whose emotions I wanted to be aware of. It seemed to only occur when Bella was distressed; as if some invisible, impenetrable wall came up around her during those times.

"Of course Jazz." Bella's dark lashes fluttered against the creamy slope of her cheeks as she opened her eyes, chocolate pools staring up at me expectantly.

"Earlier in the shower............" I hesitated.

"Uh huh." Bella prompted me, pulling herself into a sitting position and facing me.

"I could feel everything you were Bella, until I was in there with you. Then there was........nothing. It was as though your body was there but everything else just shutdown." Bella looked down at her hands fidgeting in her lap. "Then in the kitchen after you realized how your emotions were affecting me, everything seemed to shut off like a switch, and I could feel nothing from you." I tilted her chin up so that she was looking at me. "Baby how are you doing it? How are you blocking me?" I asked, knowing it was possible that she wasn't even aware of the answer.

With a sigh Bella began speaking. "I guess it was too much to hope that an empath wouldn't pick up on that huh?" She appeared almost sheepish.

"Just a little." I confirmed with a grin, not wanting her to feel as though she was being put on the spot.

Standing up, Bella tucked her hands into the front pockets of her hooded sweatshirt before beginning to pace slowly back and forth in front of me.

"I-I don't know how to put into words what I became after you all left." Bella sighed, shoulders hunched, face angled so that she was staring at her feet. "It was..........bad, really bad Jasper." She whispered.

A sharp jolt of her grief and loss, enough to nearly cause physical pain coursed through me. I could only imagine that this was merely a fraction of what she'd felt right after we'd left.

"It was horrendous. I couldn't function, Jazz. I didn't talk to anyone. I barely slept or ate. I stopped living.......because........because my reason for living at that time was gone. When you all left you took everything with you including my future, or rather the future I'd thought I was going to have with Edward, with your entire family. Charlie didn't know what to do with me; Rene was ready to have me committed." She explained.

"Bella......" My voice trailed off when she put up her hand to stop me. I wanted to tell her again how very sorry I was, how I knew that there was nothing I could ever do to make up for what my weakness had caused. Bella, of course would attempt to assure me that I wasn't the reason behind Edward's decision to leave. She was wrong, so wrong though. Before the party I'd felt how content Edward was, or as content as Edward could ever be. Bella had brought my brother back to life, and I'd been there to witness how quickly that life had been extinguished out of him when we left. For as long as I existed I would carry the guilt of all the pain I'd caused not only my family but more importantly, Bella.

"I learned after awhile that if I concentrated I could shut it all off. All the hurt, all the pain, everything. Like a switch, I could shut it all off and at least pretend to live a little again. The downside was that by closing myself off emotionally to the bad stuff, I essentially also blocked out the good stuff. It's gotten better, but there are still times that I do it, although not usually consciously."

Bella stopped in front of me, tears pooling in her eyes. Wiping the palms of her hands over her eyes to swipe the tears away she apologized. "Sorry, I just .........it brings all those memories back."

Softly grasping her hips in my hands I pulled Bella between my legs. Resting my forehead against the flat plane of her abdomen I sighed. "You never need to apologize for what we did to you darlin' and I'm not sure I can ever apologize enough for the part I played in all of it."

Sinking to her knees in front of me, her warm palms cupped my face. "Jasper, I already told you I never blamed you. Besides, everything that happened brought us to this moment; right?"

I nodded mutely.

"When I left Forks I had decided to put my past where it belonged, behind me." She began.

"Guess I made that a little difficult huh?" I asked.

"That's the thing Jazz, you didn't. I don't look at you and see my past......" Bella's voice trailed off, a slight blush staining her cheeks.

"What do you see Bella?"

"My future." She stated simply. Two words had never held more power than the ones she'd just spoken.

Pulling her onto my lap I buried my face in the veil of her hair. No other words were needed as we held each other. I lost track of how long we sat, our bodies entwined murmuring quietly to each other; exchanging gentle caresses and soft kisses. I did however know that because of this amazing woman I felt at peace, a tranquility like I'd never before experienced in my entire existence settled over me. Not even with Alice had I ever felt this level of contentment. Hearing that Bella saw me as her future, I was able to forget for a moment the hurdles we had ahead of us.

A loud knock on the door broke us from the bubble we had encased ourselves in for the afternoon.

"Hope you're decent." Peter's voice carried from just outside the still closed door as the handle turned. "To damn bad if you're not cos' we're getting wet." He grumbled as he and Char stepped into the entry way.

"Awww look at you two, so cute together." Char gushed as she took in Bella and I with our arms still wrapped around each other.

Peter looked at his wife as though she'd grown another head. "Who are you and what the fuck have you done with my wife?"

"Peter..........Bite. Me." Char fixed him with an icy glare.

"Ah there you are sugar." Peter laughed as he wrapped an arm around Char. Bella giggled; obviously amused by the never ending show that was Char and Peter.

"We brought you Chinese Bella." Peter snatched the bag out of Char's hand, making a show of offering it to Bella. "A peace offering if you will." A charming grin plastered on his face.

"Sucking up?" I asked, looking at him over my shoulder.

"Of course." Peter answered truthfully. "Is it working?"

"That depends." Bella shrugged her slight shoulders.

"Oooooonnnnnn?" Peter stretched the word out.

"Well, on whether or not there are spring rolls in that bag." Bella answered as though it was the obvious answer.

"Uh think so." Peter looked to Char for confirmation. She nodded as she chuckled at the exchange taking place between Bella and Peter.

"Then it's working." Bella untangled herself from my arms, standing to greet Char with a hug. As I watched the two women take Bella's dinner into the kitchen, I couldn't help being pleased at how they had seemed to become fast friends.

"Ok something's up. Spill it Jazz." Peter turned towards me as soon as Bella and Char had left the room.

"Alice will be here in the morning." I sighed. There was no point beating around the bush, hiding shit from Peter was damn near impossible.

"You're shitting me right?" He looked incredulous. "Your ex-wife AND your girlfriend.........in the same house? Priceless."

"My ex-wife who happens to be Bella's best friend." I added.

"Dammit man, your girl is your ex-wife's best friend and used to be with your brother. When the fuck did your life turn into a daytime TV drama?" Peter laughed loudly.

It all sounded so sordid when broken down to what the circumstances really were. I shouldn't have been shocked that Peter would be the one to point out the obvious connection between all the parties.

"Glad you find this so amusing. Laugh it up fucker!" I tossed a cushion at his head, missing when he bent at the waist to brace his hands against his legs. My obvious annoyance only fuelling Peter's reaction to what he found to be a hilarious situation.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked, balancing a plate of food in one hand as she walked across the room to rejoin me on the sofa.

"Nothin' baby, Peter is just having a moment." I glared at my brother, hoping he'd take the hint that I did not want him bringing up this particular topic of conversation in Bella's presence.

"Peter." The warning in Char's voice loud and clear. "You promised to play nice!"

"Why does everyone always assume I'm the one not being nice?" Peter asked indignantly, throwing himself into the arm chair.

"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck....." I said, wanting to get a rise out the man that was quickly becoming the bane of my existence.

"Yeah, yeah! Fuck you Jazz." Peter huffed while the rest of us chuckled at his expense. "Thought we were supposed to be watching a movie or something."

The remainder of the evening passed uneventfully. Peter and Char curled up in the arm chair while Bella and I stretched out on the sofa with her back resting against my chest, as we engrossed ourselves in a movie marathon. Bella had been rather amused with Peter and Char's choice of movies, although Char had laid the blame solely at Peter's feet for the theme of tonight's films.

"What? Vampire movies rock, they're hilarious! How they think this shit is even half assed believable is beyond me." Peter had defended his choice rather enthusiastically.

Char and I had merely shrugged, well aware that engaging Peter in an argument on the subject would be futile.

* * *

**BPOV**

Today had been tumultuous to say the very least. I'm uncertain if there has ever been a time when I have felt so many different emotions in such a short span of time. Mentally and emotionally I was exhausted; physically I wasn't doing a whole lot better. Peter, bless him had brought quite the assortment of vampire movies for us to watch. It was perfect! For the first two movies I laid on the sofa, my back pressed against Jasper's chest while one of his muscular arms was casually draped across my hip, as I'd listened to the three real life vampires in the room comment and critique the Hollywood versions. Observing, and at times joining in on the easy going camaraderie of Jasper, Peter and Char had been just what I needed. A light ending to a day heaped in enough drama to nearly drown me.

By the time Peter slipped Fright Night into the DVD player I could barely keep my eyes open. The hypnotizing beat of the rain and low rumbles of thunder, combined with Jasper's feather light caresses up and down my arm interspersed with soft kisses against my temple, made it nearly impossible to fight the heaviness of my eye lids. I was fairly certain Jasper used his gift to force me to end my battle to remain awake.

"Sleep now sweetheart." Jasper whispered in my ear, and it was the last thing I heard before I allowed sleep to overtake me.

* * *

I stretched my body out and burrowed myself deeper under the blankets. I somewhat recalled Jasper carrying me to his bed, where he'd removed my jeans before crawling in beside me. It never ceased to amaze me how Jasper could consider himself a monster, yet show me such tenderness and care. He did not see himself clearly at all. I could only wish that he would see in himself what was so obvious to me.

I wasn't quite ready to start the day. On one hand I was beside myself with anticipation to see Alice again, but on the other was the apprehension I felt over how she would react to actually seeing Jasper and I together. Needing to feel the security of Jasper's touch, I patted the bed beside me disappointed to feel nothing but the coolness of his sheets. I immediately felt foolish over my disappointment that he wasn't there beside me, after all he didn't sleep. It's not like I could expect him to do nothing other than watch me sleep, and wait for me to awaken.

Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I decided that I'd have a quick shower before seeking Jasper out downstairs. That's when I heard it. A sound, that until very recently, I never thought I'd hear again. The tinkling giggle that sounded like bells ringing.

"Alice......." I choked out a whispered sob.


	19. Chapter 19

All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer, I'm just having fun making them do what I want!

Again, a million thanks to my awesome beta GeorgiaDawgette. If not for her, it would not only take me forever to update, but her ideas add so much to each chapter. There are so many of you that have reviewed faithfully throughout the story and I want to say THANK YOU! I love your reviews, they give me inspiration to write! I also love all the ideas that some of your put into your reviews and will definitely take all of them into consideration as this story progresses.

**APOV**

I maneuvered the black Mercedes Benz rental through the zig zag of dirt roads, breaking when I approached the massive wrought iron gate. Using the code that Jasper had text me I let myself into the fenced enclosure beyond which was two houses. The larger structure I knew was Peter and Charlotte's. As close as Jasper and he were, Peter and I had always rubbed each other the wrong way. They were as close as brothers and in a way, I think Peter always attributed the long stretches of time between Jasper's visits to my influence. I had always left that choice up to Jasper, and his true reasoning was that he hadn't been entirely confident in his ability not to slip up in his diet if he spent any extended time with Peter and Charlotte. The sheer length of time that he'd spent with them now, without any slip ups, was a true testament to his new found control. Personally, I didn't have a problem with the couple, to each their own. Being a vegetarian was a choice I was happy with, but as a rule I also didn't look down upon those that chose to feed from our natural food source, so long as it was done as a means of survival and not sport. As far as human drinkers went, Peter and Charlotte were both quite humane in how they went about it. I held no ill feelings for Peter or Charlotte. Mostly, we just didn't know each other that well. Shrugging my shoulders I decided it was water under the bridge, and not something that was going to deter me from the purpose of this visit.

First and foremost, I wanted, no needed to see Bella; for her sake as well as my own. I had missed her horrendously, a fact I had to keep mostly to myself when with my family, as bringing the subject of Bella up tended to create unwelcome tension. It wasn't because the family's feelings had deteriorated for the human girl that played a large part in changing the entire dynamic of our family, but more because those feelings were as strong as ever.

The crunching of my tires on gravel as I slowed to a stop outside the smaller of the two houses broke me from my internal musings. I was nearly vibrating with excitement as I climbed out of the car. My best friend, my sister was within reach; I could smell her scent, so uniquely Bella and her heartbeat was music to my ears. It sounded as though she may well still be sleeping, if her slow even heart rate was any indication.

I sensed him before I saw him. As I looked towards the front door of the house Jasper was hard to miss. Our past aside, even I could admit the man was gorgeous; not just for his obvious outward beauty but also the way he held himself. The Jasper I was beholding now even more so, there was a quiet confidence about him that I hadn't seen in so very long, and a sense of contentment about him that I don't believe I'd ever seen.

Flying towards Jasper who was leaning casually in the doorway, I wrapped my arms around him in an affectionate hug. "Jazz it's so good to see you."

Lifting me off my feet to return the hug he chuckled good naturedly. "Likewise darlin'."

Everytime I'd seen Jasper in the past two years, and now more so than all the other times, I couldn't help but reflect on how fate had taken no prisoners when it came to my family. Carlisle felt as though he'd failed his family when he'd been powerless to keep us all together. Esme, the consummate mother missed her absent children, and like a mother in the truest sense, hurt because her children were also hurting. Emmett had lost much of the child like quality he'd always had. He hadn't taken the sudden departure of his brothers, his confidants, his partners in crime so well. Combined with losing the human girl that had become as much a sister to him as I was, had succeeded in making Emmett a much more subdued version of himself. Rosalie for all her faults was fiercely in love with her husband, but the way in which he'd been altered had not done great things for their relationship. Esme had even gone so far as to voice her concerns to me about the state of Rose and Em's marriage, nearly begging me to delve into their future so that she could be sure they'd make it through all of this. The most affected however, had been Edward, Jasper, Bella and myself.

Edward had distanced himself both physically and emotionally from the entire family. Only recently had he began attempting to close the chasm that had grown between him and the rest of us. As far as he was concerned he'd given up his only chance at happiness, his only chance at love. I knew I had my work cut out for me in convincing him otherwise. There was no way he was going to take the news that Bella was never meant for him positively. His chance at happiness and love was still out there, I'd seen her. I just needed Edward to wake up enough to be able to see it for himself.

Bella had probably suffered more than all of us combined. Although slightly dysfunctional, we did have other members of our family to lean on. We'd left Bella with no one. Of course she had Charlie, but no one that knew our secret, no one she could confide in, and not one link to the family that she'd been so much a part of. As for Jasper and I, the dissolution of our marriage had most likely been more painful for our family than for us. It had been one more failure, one more child leaving, one more brother gone.

Looking at Jasper now I could guarantee I wasn't in love with him. I knew that with certainty, but being near him never failed to bring the memories of a more simple, happier time to the forefront of my mind. Unlike the rest of my family, I had both the blessing and burden of my visions that gave me the extra time to assimilate myself to the changes that had occurred, as well as others which were imminent. We would, with any luck, and much work on my part get back to those happier times, but not before first wading through some trying moments on the horizon. There was so much I'd seen recently that I'd yet to share with even Jasper, something I hoped to rectify during my impromptu visit.

Leading me into the entry way Jasper and I made small talk, discussing my flight and the family without going into to much depth. After many minutes of idle chatter I addressed the elephant in the room. "Bella still sleeping?" Of course I already knew the answer.

"You don't play coy well Alice." Jasper shook his head, completely aware of the segway I was attempting to make into the much needed conversation regarding Bella.

"Yes, well...........how is she Jazz? And don't lie to me!" I asserted.

"Bella, is Bella. As much as things change there are those that stay the same and although there is much that's changed about the girl we knew in Forks, there is still so much about her that's the same Alice. She still puts others before herself. She is still the kind, caring, loving girl we knew but..........." His voice trailed off.

"But?" I prompted.

"We hurt her terribly Alice. What Edward did, what we all did very nearly destroyed her, and the scars are still very obvious." Guilt was written all over Jasper's face. "I'm aware of the part I played in all of this, and I will spend the rest of my existence trying to make it up to her."

"Jasper don't do this to yourself. You know for a fact that there is no way Bella would ever place the blame for that night at your feet." I scolded.

"I fucking attacked her Alice, or at least made a hell of an effort to. If Carlisle and Emmett hadn't restrained me, there is no way she'd have survived that night." With a derisive grunt Jasper turned away from me, his formerly relaxed posture now tense. "To top it all off, we left her, he left her."

"Jazz I don't think any of us survived Edward's decision unscathed, including our clueless brother." I didn't miss the flash of fury that crossed Jasper's features at my words when his head whipped back in my direction.

Jasper's voice when he spoke was low, nearly a whisper and absolutely lethal. "I could give a flying fuck how hurt Edward is over his decision. You haven't seen her face when she talks about her life after we left, nor have you felt the sheer emptiness when she shuts down emotionally; a trick she picked up to deal with the hell he......Christ, what we put her through."

I don't think I'd ever seen or heard Jasper appear so fierce. Of course by nature, I knew what he was capable of, what all our kind was capable of. However, this reaction was a true testament of his love and loyalty to Bella, as well as a demonstration of his protectiveness towards his mate.

"Of course, I'm sorry. I'm aware that not one of us experienced a fraction of what she must have." I apologized.

"Forgive me Ali, I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. I know how hard leaving Bella was for you." Jasper sighed, running his hands through his blond curls.

"Of course I forgive you. Naturally you're protective of her, it's the way of things." I lightly shrugged my shoulders, feigning nonchalance, when in reality it still pained me that it was someone else other than me provoking that instinct in him. If I was being completely honest with myself, as accepting, and I'd even say happy as I was for Jasper and Bella, there was still that part of me that hadn't completely let go of the past Jasper and I had shared. I would however, never allow those irrational feelings to interfere in helping to assure their happiness, as well as the reunification of my family.

"This can't be easy for you Alice." Jasper's gaze shifted down, guilt and remorse evident in his expression.

"Nonsense Jazz. We both know how this works. Besides, it's Bella. I couldn't have chosen anyone better suited for you." I assured him, and I meant it with my entire being. "I already know and love Bella so it will be a piece of cake for me to fill her in on all the ways she can wrap you around her little finger." I giggled, wanting to return to the lighter atmosphere we'd had when I'd first arrived.

"Oh she does just fine on her own in that department, with your instruction she'd be downright lethal." Jasper's said with a chuckle and a shake of his head. It was wonderful to see that level of happiness surrounding him again.

That was when I heard it. The rustling of blankets from a room upstairs, followed by the distinct sound of footsteps vainly attempting to move silently across the floor. The sound that followed would have brought tears to my eyes had I been able to shed them. My name, merely a whispered sob, but it was the voice, one until recently I never thought I'd hear again.

"Bella." I nearly whimpered, my gaze shooting to Jasper.

"Alice, please.........let her come to you. This needs to be on Bella's terms" It was less a request and more Jasper telling me how this would have to happen.

* * *

**BPOV**

Standing in the middle of Jasper's room, I stared at the open doorway. The splintered door had been removed and Peter had yet to install the new one leaving an open space that, at this moment, signified the only barrier left between me and the whirlwind that was Alice. I fully grasped what this meant, it meant allowing the Cullen's back in my life. Jasper seemed separate from the rest of the family, he always had, and being with him had not necessarily meant being with them. Who was I fooling though; there was nothing I'd wanted more since losing them than to be back in their fold once again. However, the dream held much more weight when it started to become a reality. A reality that also contained Edward, which was something I wasn't sure I'd ever be prepared for.

I wanted this though. I wanted the bond back that Alice and I had shared, along with the comfort and acceptance I'd always felt in the presence of Carlisle and Esme. I longed for Emmett's brotherly teasing and bear hugs that nearly knocked the wind out of me. I could do without Rosalie's unique brand of bitchiness, but she was somewhat a package deal with the rest of them. As for Edward, that was something I wasn't sure I could describe; mostly because I couldn't nail down my feelings when it came to him.

I knew I was getting ahead of myself, the only member of the family down there right now, other than Jasper, was Alice. But.........this was merely the first step to the rest. Was I ready? Could I put the past behind me and look completely towards the future? I'd already forgiven them, or well all but one of them. Again that wasn't something I needed to deal with today. I needed to start taking things as they came, or I was going to lose my mind trying to make heads or tails of it all.

Before I could chicken out and change my mind, I gingerly started to walk towards the doorway. I stepped out of the bedroom and onto the landing, when I turned towards the stairs I saw a sight that nearly took my breath away.

Alice stood at the bottom of the staircase, an expectant look upon her face. Everything about her was exactly the same. From the black spiky hair that went in whichever direction it wanted to, but always seemed to suit her so well, to the designer clothes that she decked herself out in. I could see that she was bouncing slightly on her heels, something she tended to do when she was being forced to reign in her overly excitable nature. Off to the side Jasper stood silently, allowing Alice and I to have our moment. Meeting his gaze, I formed my mouth into a half smile, wanting to let him know that despite how haywire my emotions were right now, I was indeed okay. Continuing to put one foot in front of the other I said nothing as I descended the stairs. When I reached the bottom I stopped a few feet from where Alice stood. I couldn't stop the tears from pooling in my eyes. Not until I'd seen Alice from the landing, had I fully realized just how much I'd missed her.

"Alice...." I sobbed, my emotions getting the better of me as I took a tentative step forward.

"Oh Bella." Alice cried, as she rushed the few remaining feet between us to sweep me into a tight embrace.

We both rushed to speak at the same time, our arms wrapped around each other. "Alice I....I can't believe you're really here." I stammered.

"I've missed you so much Bella." Alice's tiny body shook with sobs.

All the misgivings, nerves, and if I was being completely honest fear, that I had felt leading up to this moment dissipated as soon as I'd felt Alice's tiny, yet strong little arms embrace me.

Stepping back from me, her small hands perched on her hips I quickly got a glimpse, well more an in your face bombardment of the Alice I remembered. "Bella, what are you wearing?" Her small nose wrinkled up as she looked me up and down, taking in my Tulane University sweats paired with a too large green t-shirt which belonged to Jasper and hung on my small frame.

"Alice." Jasper scolded with mild warning in his tone.

I'd been so wrapped up in my reunion with Alice, that for a moment, I'd nearly overlooked the fact that Jasper was standing only a few feet from us, an unreadable expression on his face for only a second before a slight grin took its place. Positive he was trying to get a read on what I was feeling; I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at him. "It wouldn't be Alice if she liked what I was wearing."

"True, true." He murmured before walking to where I was standing. Bending forward he placed a chaste kiss on the top of my head. "Good morning darlin'." He whispered, before wrapping an arm around my waist.

I froze, warring with myself over wanting Jasper's touch and close proximity, while at the same time worried as to how Alice would react to his display of affection. Raising my eyes up to look at Alice I was surprised to see a genuine smile gracing her delicate features as she observed mine and Jasper's interaction.

"Morning." I murmured as I allowed my body to slightly relax into his. Returning my attention to Alice, I grasped at a way to break the silence that seemed to have descended upon us after our initial excitement at being reunited. "How long are you able to stay for Alice?" I asked somewhat timidly. Not wanting her to misconstrue my question and assume she wasn't welcome here.

"It's somewhat open ended right now. I will be staying long enough for us to go shopping though Bella." Alice once again took in my outfit moments before her face lit up in a mischievous grin.

"That sounds wonderful Alice." I wasn't sure who was more shocked at my declaration.......Jasper, Alice, or me. Surprisingly though, I was looking forward to time with Alice even if it meant following her around every mall in New Orleans.

"Who are you and what have you done with Bella?" Alice looked to be in a state of shock. "No stomping feet, no begging, no bargaining. You've made this entirely too easy for me!"

We seemed to be falling back into our once familiar and comfortable friendship so easily, as though no time had passed since the last time I'd seen her. It was absolutely surreal. But so much time had passed, and things were different, so completely and extraordinarily different. I wondered to myself just how long we'd be able to successfully ignore the colossal elephant in the room.

"Alright Jazz." Alice clapped her tiny hands together "It's absolutely wonderful to see you again, but it's girl time! Bella and I have a ton of catching up to do, so you need to shoo."

I could feel Jasper's eyes on me, positive he was gauging my emotions before acquiescing to Alice's demand. Tilting my head up my eyes met his worried gaze. He looked tired, and...........hungry. The toll my emotional whiplash had been taking on him was evident by the dark circles under eyes that were usually a warm caramel colour, but now appeared to be almost a muddy brown.

Turning my body to face him, I placed my hands against his cool cheeks, gingerly running my thumbs across the shadows marring his beautiful features. "You need to hunt Jasper." I whispered.

Knowing he would attempt to argue with me, I quickly placed a finger against his lips to shush him. "Don't argue with me, we both know the emotional ping pong we've been playing has been wreaking havoc on you. Besides, Alice and I do need some time alone to catch up." I assured him.

"You're sure sweetheart?" Jasper's eyes moved rapidly over my face, attempting to detect any negative feeling I may have been experiencing. I consciously exuded as much calm and confidence as I could muster, wanting him to step back and take care of himself instead of having to take care of me.

"Positive. Now go before you provoke the pixie." I chuckled as Alice gave him a mock glare to further prove my point.

"Okay, Okay." Jasper threw up his hands in defeat. "Dammit Alice, you're here all of twenty minutes and I'm already getting kicked out of my own house." Jasper scowled in Alice's direction, but the humour was evident in his tone.

"Suck it up princess." Alice giggled as she skipped across the room before lithely tossing herself onto the massive sofa, nearly dwarfed by its size.

I walked Jasper to the door, our fingers entwined. "I'll see you soon darlin'." He drawled as he tipped his head to place a soft kiss against my slightly parted lips. For a split second it completely escaped me that Alice was sitting just across the room, and I raised myself on my toes to press my lips firmly against his. I blushed furiously when my faculties returned not a moment later. Glancing at Alice I was relieved to see that she seemed to be thoroughly engaged with her phone, her fingers moving rapidly over the keys. Sighing in relief I returned my attention to Jasper who placed one more sweeping kiss against my forehead before leaving.

Hearing the soft click of the door the butterflies in my stomach returned full force. I couldn't help but feel somewhat apprehensive as to how this would go without having Jasper here as a buffer. I just kept reminding myself over and over that this was Alice, and my nervousness was completely irrational.

Sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Alice I sat forward, my arms resting on my knees as I angled my body towards her, wondering which of us would end the uncomfortable silence that had permeated the room upon Jasper's departure.

Alice motioned to her phone before hesitating as though she wasn't sure she should say what she'd been about to. "It was umm, Edward." She continued. "Asking how Jazz was." She rushed through the rest of the needless explanation as my brain had almost ceased to function when she'd spoken Edward's name.

"Oh." I'm sure my mouth was set in the shape of a perfect O.

"I'm sorry Bella; I shouldn't have brought him up." Alice quickly apologized, a stricken expression on her face.

"No, it's ummmm........it's fine Alice." I reassured her. "He doesn't know, uh know about me.......?" My voice trailed off.

Alice shook her head no. "I promised Jazz I wouldn't say, or think anything until you were ready."

"Thank you Alice, I know it can't be easy keeping things from him." I was fully aware just how close she and Edward had always been which had to be making it extremely difficult to keep secrets from him.

Silence enveloped the room once again. I hated this awkwardness that suddenly seemed to be between us, and wanted nothing more than for us to be able to go back to our earlier banter. The time had passed for that now though. There were things that needed to be said, let out into the open, if we were going to be successful in genuinely regaining our former closeness.

Taking a deep breath I took the plunge. "I love him Alice. Like a lot." I cringed internally, hoping she realized I meant Jasper and not Edward.

With a slight smile Alice said only two words. "I know."


	20. Chapter 20

**As always, everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N - So it's a much shorter chapter than usual but necessary to transition the story to where I want it to go. HUGE thanks to my beta Georgia Dawgette. Without her it would take weeks for me to post, and she is awesome at breaking my writer's block! Her ideas add so much to the story, and I'm completely hopeless at punctuation so she is the one to thank that this is readable! All of your reviews have been awesome. Thank you for all of them, as well as to those that have put this story on alert or added to favorites. You guys are the best! **

_Previously_

_Taking a deep breath I took the plunge. "I love him Alice. Like a lot." I cringed internally, hoping she realized I meant Jasper and not Edward. _

_With a slight smile Alice said only two words. "I know." _

* * *

**BPOV**

"Of course you do." I sighed. "Can I ask you something Alice?"

"Anything." She replied simply.

"Why don't you hate me?" Lord knows I'd hate me if I was her. I was.......am, her best friend, and Jasper's her husband or well he used to be. Not to mention the fact I'd at one time thought myself to be hopelessly in love with her brother. I groaned inwardly, realizing how sordid it all sounded after working out the finer details in my head.

"What reason would I have to hate you Bella?" Alice genuinely looked confused.

Admittedly I wasn't exactly knowledgeable when it came to all the ins and outs of the vampire world, but I did understand somewhat the whole 'mated' thing. Basically, Jasper and I shared an unbreakable bond. Now if I'd spent over half a century with someone only to have them form an unbreakable bond with someone else so soon after our relationship had ended, well I have a feeling I'd be a little pissed about it.

"Ummm Jasper?" His name sounded like a question when I all but choked out my reply.

"Don't be absurd! Didn't he tell you?" Alice sat up straighter as she chastised me for my apparent absurdity.

"Well he told me you were.........well that you were okay with this, and that you were happy for us." I was dumbfounded by what appeared to be automatic acceptance of my relationship with Jasper.

"So what's the problem then?" She appeared completely perplexed.

"I feel like I've betrayed you." I dropped my chin so that I was looking at the floor while I pulled at a loose thread on my sweat pants.

"That is utter nonsense Bella!" Alice's normally high pitched voice sounding a few octaves higher than usual. Sliding her tiny body closer to mine she reached over and firmly grasped my chin, forcing me to look at her. "Now you listen to me Bella Swan, you would never, could never betray me. If anything you are loyal almost to a fault. If anyone is guilty of betraying anyone it's me! What I did, what my entire family did is unforgivable, yet every vision I've had recently shows you doing nothing but showing us forgiveness."

I was struck nearly mute by Alice's rant. Never in a million years had I expected this level of understanding from her. Hollow assurances, empty words........those I had been expecting, not this passionate defense against my self recriminations.

"What else would I do other than forgive Alice? It took Jasper telling me the whole truth about what went down that night, but I now understand the why. Edward in his own warped fucked up way was trying to protect me, and the rest of you were doing what you could to keep your family together by abiding with his wishes." I murmured, while Alice raised her eyebrow at my language.

"I saw what you went through Bella. As soon as I allowed myself to see you again I saw it all. You may forgive us, but I'm not so sure I can ever forgive myself." This was the most subdued I'd ever heard Alice.

A thought suddenly occurred to me......"Is this why you're being so understanding about Jasper and I? Because you think you owe me something?" I asked suddenly suspicious.

"Oh Bella, no not at all." Alice giggled, her mood apparently lifted by my suspicions. "You and Jasper belong together; you've always belonged to each other. Fate just decided to take the long way in getting you two together." She explained.

Fate decided to take the long way? No shit! Fate had more than taken the long way when it came to my life; it had taken the most treacherous, dark, miserable path it could. How does this fate thing work anyway? There are so many what ifs........what if Jasper hadn't tried to attack me at my birthday party, what if Edward hadn't decided to leave, what if Alice and Jasper hadn't had the epiphany that their marriage was over. Not to mention everything I'd felt for Edward, was it all a lie? I couldn't help but wonder if Jasper and I were together because of everything that had occurred or despite it.

If the events of my 18th birthday hadn't taken place would we have still found our way to each other, or would Jasper still be married to Alice and I still with Edward? The loudest voice in my head kept telling me to let it go, live in the now, embrace what I have with Jasper. However, there was a small, niggling voice that kept asking me these questions, seeking to make sense of the situation, needing to justify everything that had taken place since meeting the Cullen's. Again though, I couldn't help but feel that everything I'd experienced in the last two plus years had all been worth it seeing as how in the end, it had all led me to where Jasper and I were now. The loud voice was winning. If there was one thing I'd learned from all of this, it is that happiness can be fleeting, and to grasp it with both hands when it's within reach.

"That's one way of putting it." I verbalized my internal monologue. "I still haven't wrapped my head around all of this Alice. Some of it completely confounds me to be honest, but if there is one thing I am certain of it's my feelings for Jasper."

"It is a bit of a mind fuck isn't it?" Alice asked, a serious expression on her face as she nodded her head in understanding.

I snorted while trying to suppress the laughter threatening to escape. Hearing Alice curse was comparable to her speaking a foreign language, but it had effectively aided in breaking the proverbial ice. However, she had also hit the nail on the head with her apt description of this unique situation.

"What?" Alice arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me, obviously unaware at what was provoking my amusement.

"Nothing, nothing." I waved my hand in a dismissing gesture before standing. "I realize we have only a million things to talk about Alice, but this human needs food." I walked towards the kitchen, uncertain if she'd follow me or not.

* * *

**JPOV**

When Alice, and Bella for that matter, had all but forced me to leave my house I had been hesitant. Unbeknownst to Bella I was quite aware that she was purposefully trying to project to me that she was feeling confident and calm. Unlike when she'd managed to completely shut her emotions off to me, I had felt those that she thought she was hiding. Guess her shielding ability was an all or nothing sort of thing.

The only reason I'd even acquiesced to their demands was because I knew without a doubt that Alice truly only had Bella's best interests at heart. If I thought for even a moment that she had an issue with the state of mine and Bella's relationship, there is no way I'd have left Bella to face that level of shit alone.

Bella did have a point though, I needed to hunt. The emotional atmosphere of the past couple of days, the up and down of it all had taken its toll on me. It's not that I was anywhere near out of control or that there was any danger in me hurting Bella, in fact for whatever reason the scent of Bella's blood no longer held any temptation for me. I would have loved to believe that I had managed to build up the type of tolerance Carlisle had to blood, but I knew that wasn't the case. My best bet was that, my need to protect her overrode my desire for what flowed through her veins. It was better to be safe than sorry though, I could not ever let my thirst reach the point where the burn was nearly unbearable. As much as I was certain that I could never bring myself to hurt Bella, I wouldn't take the chance. There was always the chance that my control could slip, and I was more than well aware what the road back from that would be fraught with. So with those thoughts playing a loop in my mind I had gorged myself on whatever animals I could find without straying to far from home. It was slim pickings, but there were times you had to sacrifice quality for quantity as well as location.

The buzzing of my phone in my pocket broke me from my deep absorption in my thoughts. Concerned that it was Bella, needing me back at home I answered quickly without checking the caller ID.

"Bella?" I asked with concern.

**Hmmmm...wonder who's calling him.......**


	21. Chapter 21

**As usual all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N - Your responses to the last chapter were great! Almost every review included a guess as to who was on the phone, with the vast majority guessing Edward. I hope you all won't be disappointed when you discover who it actually is. Mega, mega thanks to my beta Georgia Dawgette, between pm's and chapter revisions that she worked through super fast, along with all her ideas she kept me motivated to get this one out quickly. Thank you for all the reviews, alerts, etc.......they were one of the big reasons I wanted to get this chapter out so quickly.**

* * *

**JPOV**

"I'm afraid not." The voice on the other end of the phone line its usual calm, although there was an undertone of confusion present.

Fuck me!..........Carlisle.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath. "Carlisle, you need to block your thoughts now, and then I will tell you everything." I said with far more authority than I felt. Pacing amongst the trees that lined Peter and Char's property, I couldn't fathom how I had been so careless.

I had been so entirely consumed with thoughts of Bella, and how she was fairing in her reunion with Alice, that her name had left my lips without thought, certain it was her on the phone needing me home.

"Edward isn't here at the moment." Carlisle assured me, naturally picking up on the reason for my request to shield his thoughts. He did not elaborate on Edward's whereabouts, nor did I much care, so long as Carlisle could assure me that his thoughts were safe from Edward's gift.

This was not how I'd planned for Carlisle to find out. I knew from the get go there was little hope of Alice not seeing mine and Bella's relationship, but I had hoped not to include the rest of the family so soon. I was in no way ready to endure the fall out that I was positive would ensue, and I was beyond hesitant to subject Bella to all that would inevitably follow our relationship being brought to the attention of the rest of the family.

There was however, no way to avoid filling Carlisle in on the details. Starting from the moment I'd seen Bella in the club, I related the past few days to Carlisle, of course editing the more intimate details of our time together. He listened without interruption, although I'd expected no less from Carlisle.

"This is unexpected." Carlisle sighed. "Though, thank you for telling me the truth son."

Surprisingly, I felt some relief being able to confide in the man I still very much considered my father. Trusting Carlisle to keep my confidence was a non issue, I trusted him implicitly. Although this was not a position I relished putting him in; with keeping the secret of one son from another. Carlisle was not one to pick favourites, yet the bond shared by him and Edward was not a secret. Guilt flashed through me as I pictured Carlisle in his study, sitting at his desk appearing entirely composed. Appearing was the key word, to most Carlisle was the epitome of control and composure, but to those who knew him like his family did it was quite simple to find the chinks in the armour when something was upsetting him. It was his eyes, always the warm topaz which told of his diet; in their depths his emotions were often reflected. At this moment I could only imagine what I would see in them.

"I didn't plan this Carlisle, nor did I ever expect to see Bella again, never mind discovering the feelings I have for her." I spoke quietly into the phone.

"The thought that this was in any way premeditated hadn't even crossed my mind Jasper." I had been almost certain that out of everyone, Carlisle would have been the one to reserve judgment on me, but all the same it was a comfort to have that confirmed.

"Thank you Carlisle." There was nothing else I could say.

"How is she?" In that moment I didn't need to be an empath to pick up on the concern, and fatherly affection in Carlisle's voice. I know it had troubled him and Esme both greatly to leave Bella behind, but with Edward's decision made they'd felt they had no choice.

"She's Bella. Like I told Alice, in many ways she's still very much the same girl we left in Forks. She's been through a lot though, and it has left its mark." For mostly selfish reasons I had no desire to go into detail yet again about the devastation we'd inflicted upon her, or the danger we'd failed to protect her from.

"Alice, of course. This would explain why she suddenly felt compelled to pay you a visit." I could clearly see the pieces clicking into place for Carlisle as he spoke. "It would also be why Edward has been insisting that Alice is hiding something from him, as apparently she's been cataloguing her entire wardrobe for quite a number of days." Despite the seriousness of the conversation, I didn't fail to pick up the note of amusement in his voice over Alice's stealth tactics.

"Carlisle........." I hesitated, grasping at a way to put my request into words in a way that would not make Carlisle feel like he was engaging in an outright betrayal of Edward. "It's imperative that Edward does not know about this yet. The decision to see him needs to be Bella's, and we both know what Edward is like. If he knows about her, about us, there is no telling what he will do. This has to be on her terms."

"Of course, of course. I will ensure he does not learn of this from me, and I will keep this from the rest of the family." He assured me. "Jasper..........he will need to be made aware eventually. He is still very much in love with her, or rather believes himself to be. All I can request is that you discuss this with Bella, and assure her that I will do whatever is within my power to make this easier for all parties."

"Thanks again Carlisle, I'm sure she will appreciate it and I will try." There was no way I could guarantee him that Bella would ever agree to see Edward. The rage I'd felt from Bella when discussing Edward the other night had been extreme in its intensity. Facing Edward would be a huge step for her,

"Jasper may I ask how Alice took all of this?" The strain in Carlisle's voice was evident.

"Would you believe she took it better than even Bella and I did?" I chuckled at the wonder that was Alice. "She is with Bella now, and it wouldn't shock me in the least if those two are once again thick as thieves before too long."

"I suppose that shouldn't in any way surprise me. She's probably been aware for quite some time." The tension eased from Carlisle's voice again momentarily, until he proceeded with his next question. "And your control Jasper, there is no......" His voice trailed off as I interrupted him.

"It's ironclad Carlisle. If there is one thing I can guarantee you, it is that there is absolutely no chance of me harming Bella." My thoughts from earlier again at the forefront of my mind.

"You've come a long way son, I'm very proud of you." As much as I didn't want it to matter, the fact that I could finally inspire pride, rather than pity and disappointment in the head of our family, did mean a great deal to me. However, it wasn't something I would freely admit to anyone else; admitting it to myself was enough.

"Not to change the subject Carlisle, but I'm assuming you had a reason for calling." I was clamouring to change the subject, but I was also aware that Carlisle had not yet told me the reason for his phone call.

"Jasper, I believe I already have the answer to my purpose for calling." Carlisle sighed. "Esme and I were wondering if you had given any thought to our request that you visit soon. However, in light of recent events I do understand why you would decline."

Leaning against the thick trunk of a tree, I ran my fingers through my tangled curls in guilt, frustration, and the list of recriminations could go on and on. As hesitant as I was to cause Esme or Carlisle anymore pain, it was Bella that was now my priority and her needs trumped all else.

"I can't give you an answer Carlisle." I replied truthfully. "Like I said, how everything plays out will be up to Bella."

"Would I be overstepping my bounds if I offered a little fatherly advice?" I almost laughed outright at the question. Although diplomatic, Carlisle very seldom asked before imparting his wisdom upon those of us he considered his children.

"By all means." I answered, knowing that whatever advice Carlisle had, he would never attempt to sway my decision in his favour.

"I understand your hesitancy to subject Bella, and yourself for that matter to all that will undoubtedly occur once Edward knows. But Jasper, secrets always have a way of coming to light and I honestly believe that this is something Edward needs to hear from you and Bella. The fallout could be much worse if he were to find out by chance." His words made sense, and although I knew Carlisle would do everything within his power to maintain my confidence, it was often trying and at times nearly impossible to keep things from Edward if he was motivated enough to discover them.

"I will talk to Bella." Was my simple response, there were no other guarantees I could offer him.

"That's all I ask." Carlisle stated solemnly. "Also, please remember you can speak to me anytime Jasper, you are still my son."

"Thank you Carlisle, that means more than you know." A deep affection for the man on the other end of the line settled over me.

After saying our goodbyes and disconnecting the call, I quickly hit the speed dial that would connect me to Peter.

"Jazz, I see the itty bitty annoying one has arrived." Disdain evident in Peter's voice.

"Do not start on that shit Peter! I do not have the time or the patience for yours and Alice's little pissing contest." I growled

"Well aren't we three different kinds of asshole today." He snapped.

Giving no apology for my previous tone I simply stated, "Carlisle knows about me and Bella."

* * *

**BPOV**

"How do you eat that?" Alice's face was scrunched up as she stared with disdain at the salad I had thrown together for my lunch.

"I put it in my mouth and chew." I deadpanned.

"Isn't it comparable to eating......well........grass?" I swear she almost shuddered. She could drain a full grown predatory animal but my salad made her shudder.

I shook my head and laughed. I had missed her randomness.

Alice and I were seated at the high back stools that sat facing one of the granite counters in Jasper's kitchen while I ate my hastily prepared lunch. The comfort I'd always found in my friendship with Alice seemed to be returning in miniscule amounts. It was a good start. Though I couldn't completely understand how she was okay with mine and Jasper's relationship, well more than okay the way she told it, but for whatever reason I knew she was being sincere.

"So Jazz is quite the kisser huh?" Alice had the same shit eating grin on her face that I was accustomed to seeing on Peter's. Maybe I didn't miss her randomness so much.

"Alice!" I hissed, my cheeks feeling as though they were on fire, and I was certain appearing as such as well. "I am not discussing this with you!"

"Why not?" She appeared almost hurt. "It's what friends do, and besides you never had a problem talking about this when you were with Edward."

"That was when I was kissing your brother, not your ex-husband." I exclaimed, mortified at the direction our conversation had taken.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. You and Jazz are mates, and showing affection is completely normal." I swear this was similar to when Renee gave me the birds and the bees talk at the ripe old age of ten, only a million times worse.

"I know Alice. What isn't normal is discussing it with his ex-wife." I said through clenched teeth.

Jumping off of her stool, Alice stood with her hands planted on her hips. "Bella I am more than just Jasper's ex-wife, I am also your best friend and I would hope that trumps the rest. Besides, who better to talk to about him than me?"

I knew when a battle with Alice was all but lost, but I was still positive I couldn't have this conversation with her. It was entirely too.......weird. Somehow I knew Alice would get her way though, it was merely going to be a matter of how non-intrusive I was going to be able to steer it.

"Vampires are very sensual and sexual creatures Bella." Apparently Alice was channeling her inner Dr. Ruth.

Looking at Alice pointedly, memories of all my failed advances towards Edward played through my mind.

"Alright, maybe not ALL vampires." She amended somewhat sheepishly.

I snorted somewhat unladylike at her admission. I couldn't believe we were even discussing this. Well more Alice discussing while I sat dumbly on my stool glowing bright red, my only real input being my ever changing facial expressions.

I walked across the kitchen to place my dishes in the previously unused dishwasher, feeling Alice's eyes on me the whole time. It was rather disconcerting.

"We haven't ummm.........shit........Jasper and I haven't had sex Alice." The words awkwardly tumbled out of my mouth as I turned around to look at her from the other side of the kitchen.

"I know." Those two words spoke volumes.

They confirmed that regardless of what I chose to share with Alice, she was most likely already aware. Such was the way considering her visions. Rather than feeling as though our privacy had been violated, I felt a sense of awe at the pixie. It suddenly dawned on me that although she was more than familiar with the ins and outs of mine and Jasper's relationship, including all the intimate moments, she still was completely accepting. More than accepting if I was being accurate in my description, she had fully embraced us as a couple. It was as though I could see the light through the dark. The epiphany was freeing, assuaging me of the majority of my guilt where Alice was concerned.

Before I could formulate a comment, or an answer to any number of the things she'd said in the last few minutes, we were interrupted by Jasper stalking purposefully into the kitchen. Something was up, he appeared tense and on edge. Without even hesitating I rushed towards him and stepped into his waiting embrace. Leaning my face against his chest, I inhaled the scent that was unique to Jasper. I knew the discussion Alice I were having, although delayed by Jasper's return, was by no means over.

"What is it Jazz?" Alice's voice broke through the bubble we tended to enclose ourselves in.

Tightening his arms around me, he looked from where I was surrounded by his embrace to where Alice was situated. "Carlisle knows."

My relief at believing I'd scored a reprieve from Alice's girl talk was short lived.

* * *

**CPOV**

Sitting at my desk, my hands steepled in front of me I looked around my study. Like most of our homes, the room was decorated with dark mahogany furnishings and accented with deep reds and gold. Books spanning the centuries as well as my numerous degrees set in antique frames lined the walls, they were the few things I always insisted on taking with me from house to house.

As much as I'd have relished the time to put into perspective everything Jasper had told me, it wasn't a luxury I had right now. I hadn't the slightest idea when to expect Edward back, and I could not chance him finding out about Bella via my wayward thoughts. I'd promised Jasper I would do everything within my power to keep just that from happening, a task I was anything but looking forward to.

I couldn't stop my thoughts from playing again the events that had occurred over the past two years, events which had forever changed the dynamic of the family I'd formed. Of all the things that could have been the downfall of this family, I'd never even once considered that the cause would end up being our affections for one human girl. Not to place blame on Bella, she was the most innocent in all of this. Not all of the changes were detrimental I had to admit. Jasper had acquired the control, the confidence to embrace our vegetarian way of life; something I'm uncertain he'd have been able to do while living amongst us. I felt nothing but pride in all he'd accomplished. Although I was not his sire, he was as much my son as Edward or Emmett.

Edward...........I was at a loss when it came to helping my first son. I could only hope that his decision to return permanently to the family was a sign that he was healing, and coming back from the cloud he'd lived under since leaving Bella.

"Who were you on the phone with Carlisle?" The deep, quiet voice jolted me from my thoughts and memories.

"Edward, back from hunting already?" I immediately began to recite the Hippocratic Oath silently, unprepared for Edward's sudden appearance in my study.

"Carlisle." Edward paused, his fists clenched at his side and mouth set in a tense line, all of this in complete opposition to his almost casual stance against the door frame. "Who were you talking to, or more importantly, why were you talking about Bella?"

Sighing heavily I braced my hands on the arms of my chair and stood. Tentatively, I took a few steps towards Edward. "I was speaking with Jasper." Lying outright to him would only exacerbate the situation once everything came to light. The trick now was going to be avoidance. "I was wondering if he'd given any more thought to visiting."

"What does that have to do with Bella? You're hiding something from me Carlisle." Edward was maintaining a calm demeanour, even though I had no doubt he was feeling anything but ease. "First Alice, now you. What do you know about Bella that you aren't telling me?"

Edward was not going to let this go without answers. I would not go back on my promise to Jasper, however there was no way I was going to be able to keep Edward entirely in the dark either. I had anticipated that it would be a struggle keeping this from him however, I had not the slightest idea that he was near enough to hear mine and Jasper's phone conversation, or rather my side of the call.

"It is not my place to tell you everything Edward; I can only implore you to be patient." Patience was a virtue Edward tended to have in spades, as was the nature of our kind. I wasn't so sure this was a strength he would be able to draw from as a look of abject horror crossed his features.

"Has Jasper been in contact with her?" It was not difficult to guess that the memories of Jasper's and Bella's last contact were at the forefront of his thoughts. "Is that why Alice decided so suddenly to go to him?"

Quickening my strides I reached Edwards side, placing my hand on his shoulder, I attempted to diminish some of his fears without allowing too much information to slip. "All I can tell you is that Bella is not in any danger."

Outwardly Edward appeared to compose himself, but knowing him the way I did, I could see the frustration of not knowing, the sense of betrayal he was experiencing knowing that I would not, could not be budged to tell him more than I already had, and most poignant was the longing evident in his eyes for the girl he'd walked away from just two years ago.

Straightening himself, Edward nodded at me while he murmured "Carlisle," before stalking away without another word. I knew there was a call I'd have to make, Jasper would need to be informed that he could expect to be hearing from his brother and that the time for making decisions on how to tell Edward the truth, was upon him and Bella. All I could hope for now was that Edward would keep his head about him, and not run off half cocked to confront Jasper and Alice, and that Jasper would be able to forgive my failure to keep everything from Edward.

* * *

**APOV**

One minute I had Bella nearly convinced to spill her guts about how things were progressing physically between her and Jasper, and the next Mr. Moody himself appeared. As soon as I'd seen the unsettled look on Jasper's face I knew something was up, and it wasn't good.

It wasn't until I heard him speak the words "Carlisle knows" while he clung tightly to Bella that I was able to fully register just how rattled Jasper was. The usually stoic man was no more when it came to assuring Bella's well being. The man in front of me now, was one that is deeply in love with the woman wrapped in his arms. It would be more than obvious to anyone that saw them together how deep their feelings for each other ran.

Where many would naturally assume that I would be envious, or perhaps even jealous of their bond, I took comfort in it. Only true mates would be able to feel the depth of what they so obviously felt for each other, in such a short span of time. Two of the people I loved most in this world were where they belonged........with each other. With my little 'awww' moment over, it was time to get to the bottom of what in the hell Jasper meant by Carlisle knowing. What did he know and how? As much in favour as I was of Bella settling things once and for all with Edward, after todayI understood more so than ever before how much it needed to be on her terms. What would Carlisle knowing mean for that actually being allowed to happen?

Before I was able to put a voice to my questions, Jasper delved into a description of his phone call with Carlisle. As he progressed through the retelling of their conversation, I could see Bella becoming more tense, and almost withdrawn. She was still encased in Jasper's arms but it was as though the life drained out of her. Her normal fair skin took on a nearly pasty tone, the expression on her face blank; conveying almost no emotion. She was shutting down. Even Jasper's assurances that Carlisle had promised to do all he could to keep things from Edward until they were ready for him to know, did little in the way of eliciting a reaction from her.

The shrill ringing of my phone cut off the remainder of Jasper's explanation. I knew then, without requiring a vision of any kind that Carlisle had not succeeded in successfully keeping Edward in the dark. The question now was how much he knew, and what kind of damage control I would have to engage in.

Checking the caller ID, my suspicions were confirmed when I saw the display lit up with Edward's name. Striding quickly from the room, not wanting to provide more reason for Bella to withdraw into herself, I prepared myself to answer the phone that was incessantly ringing in my hand.

Taking a deep breath that I didn't require, I snapped my phone open. "Edward, did you not get my last text that I would speak with you tonight? Or do you just miss me that much already big brother?" I prattled on in my most chipper of tones.

"Alice, what have you been hiding from me about Bella?" Edward cut to the chase immediately, either seeing through my facade or just not caring about anything but the answers he was obviously seeking.

I could only hope that Edward would eventually forgive my deception, as I began what would need to be the best acting performance of my existence.


	22. Chapter 22

**All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N**

**First of all, I apologize for how long it took me to update this time around. Unfortunately at times life gets in the way of what we'd like to actually be doing as opposed to what we have to be doing. I will try to make sure my updates don't take this long in the future. Thank you for all your patience. **

**Now I owe a huge thanks to my beta Georgia Dawgette. Without her, this chapter would be nowhere near finished. Whenever I am "stuck" she allows me to bounce ideas off of her comes up with phenomenal ideas of her own, which are only rivalled by her patience and ability to make me use proper punctuation hehe. **

**I also need to thank everyone that continues to read, review, and add to favorites/alerts. Nothing is better for a writer than knowing that what they are writing is enjoyed by others. At least for me. I know I don't often get a chance to answer all the reviews but I do read them all and appreciate every single one of them. If, however, you have a question, idea, etc I will make a point of answering. I have rattled on enough now, i'll let you get to the newest chapter.........**

* * *

_Previously_

_"Alice, what have you been hiding from me about Bella?" Edward cut to the chase immediately, either seeing through my facade or just not caring about anything but the answers he was obviously seeking. _

_I could only hope that Edward would eventually forgive my deception, as I began what would need to be the best acting performance of my existence. _

* * *

**APOV**

"Why would you think I'm hiding anything from you?" I needed to find out exactly how much he knew, without divulging too much, or sparking more suspicion from him.

"Alice please......."I could almost picture him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I know Jasper has been in some sort of contact with her, and you are with him. The mathematics of it all are quite simple." Edward snapped.

"It's not what you think Edward." I paced through Jasper's living room, out the front door to the large deck on the front of the house. Realistically, I knew I wasn't anywhere near far enough away for Jasper not to hear me, but that wasn't really my motivation for needing to get out of the house. All of this felt so......wrong to me, and the walls of the house combined with the subterfuge I was engaging in had made me feel claustrophobic. Gazing out towards the trees that bordered the property, the wide open spaces, I felt myself calm while I awaited his response.

"And what am I thinking Alice? That you both went against my wishes that we stay out of Bella's life, that she be allowed to lead a normal life free from the unique type of danger we brought to her; especially Jasper!" His voice roared through the speaker on my cell phone.

I gasped in surprise at Edward's insinuation that Jasper was a danger to Bella. Granted, he didn't know all that I did, but never had he been so harsh towards Jasper. For a long time after the night of Bella's eighteenth birthday, I had wondered just how much blame Edward put on Jasper for the decision he'd felt he had to make in regards to his relationship with Bella. Never once though had Edward said anything, never cast recriminations. Rather he'd internalized much of the blame, claiming that it was his fault for thinking he could ever have a successful relationship with a human.

"Bella is not in any danger Edward. Jasper would never hurt her" I almost whispered, knowing this was one truth I would have to assure him of, if I was going to have any chance of keeping him from making the rash decision to come here.

"You've seen her." It wasn't a question.

"I have." I sighed. I knew my admission could incite him, yet it was the only way I could think to guarantee him of her safety.

There was no response, yet I knew from his shallow breaths that he was still there. "Edward?" I asked with trepidation, after waiting several minutes for him to speak.

"H-how is she?" His voice broke; all anger seemed to have vanished from his tone.

"Bella is doing well, she's in college now." I offered, still wary of just how much information I should give away. "She.........she's happy Edward." It wasn't the complete truth, Bella was still haunted by what our family had done, but she was the happiest she'd been in a very long time because of her newfound relationship with Jasper.

"Has she moved on then?" His question shouldn't have surprised me; Edward always was somewhat of a masochist.

Again, I sighed before answering, knowing that the next words out of my mouth would have the power to break my brother's heart just that much more. "She has." I of course did not elaborate that she'd indeed moved on with his own brother. It was, however, for the best that Edward get used to the idea that Bella was no longer his.

The image of Jasper and Bella from when I'd left the kitchen flitted through my mind. Bella, wrapped up in Jasper's protective embrace while he whispered to her so quietly, not even I was able to make out much of what he was saying. There had been an intimacy between them that had never been there between her and Edward, and if I was being honest between Jasper and I. They had been the picture of two beings that, above all else belonged to each other.

"I see," was his only response. I ached for him, and what I was sure felt like losing Bella all over again.

Regardless of the heavy handed way Edward had made the decision to remove not only himself but all of us from Bella's life; I knew he truly believed himself in love with her. Edward had been certain that leaving her, allowing her to live out her human life was in her best interests. What he failed to realize was that had they truly been mated, there was no way he'd be able to leave her so easily, and for this length of time. Not to say that the last two years had been easy on my brother, the complete opposite in fact. He had not, however, experienced the all consuming despair that would have accompanied the loss of his mate.

"I'm sorry Edward." I murmured, my voice filled with sympathy.

"No, no it's what I wanted Alice. I wanted her to live, to be happy, and to find someone she could do that with." Edward's voice had returned to its normally calm, deep timbre. "But tell me, how do you and Jasper fit into all of this?"

"Jazz ran into her at a club...........and I.......well I needed to see her, to explain Edward." I purposely infused my voice with a note of pleading and downplayed Jasper's involvement in it all, needing him to believe that my only motivation had been to absolve myself of the guilt that I carried over the way we had left her.

Edward sighed, and I knew I had succeeded in calming him. Our conversation had bought Bella and Jasper time to decide how to proceed with telling Edward, as well as the rest of the family, with the exception of Carlisle, the truth. This would work, so long as Carlisle could succeed in keeping Edward out of his head and discovering the truth about who Bella had moved on and was happy with.

"I apologize Alice. I should known better than to doubt your loyalty to me." Edward sounded repentant and the guilt that had been hovering at the border of my conscience surged ahead full force. After all was said and done, I didn't know if he was ever going to be able to forgive me for my duplicity.

"Apologies are not necessary." My words were an understatement, as apologies would be necessary all around soon.

I wasn't entirely sure how I felt after hanging up with Edward, with assurances that I would be in touch soon. There was little doubt that I'd managed to prolong the inevitable, for the time being Edward was placated by the explanations I'd provided him with. At least I hoped so. There had been no new visions since hitting 'end' on my phone, but that only meant Edward had not made any decisions. He was the member of my family that was always the most difficult to pinpoint, to maintain in my visions. The major reason for this being our closeness, it was at times a double edged sword. Edward, better than anyone knew how to avoid detection in my visions. By constantly changing his mind, or merely making split second decisions, he was able to confuse my visions and at times completely fly below my radar.

As I turned to step back into the house, a shadow descended over the rambling deck as dark clouds began rolling in, blocking out the sun. A shiver went through my body as the weather seemed to mimic the situation my family was finding itself in once again. A storm was brewing on the horizon in more ways than one.

* * *

**EPOV**

My Bella....

I attempted to picture what a 20 year old Bella would be like. Would she still have that sense of innocence infused with her own unique kind of strength? I pictured a Bella similar to the one I'd last seen, yet different. Time erasing that klutzy young girl, and replacing her with a graceful woman. Of course she would still be brilliant, and more beautiful than she was ever fully able to embrace. I could see her in my minds eye, the thick veil of chestnut waves, her expressive dark eyes, though her face most likely had lost much of its youthful roundness. I shook my head, breaking myself of the spell that I had the tendency to fall under when thinking of her. Following this path of thoughts never led me anywhere good. If anything I was forced to realize all that I had willingly given up.

Of course, I realized that as time went on, Bella would continue to change, and age. One thing that would never feel the touch of time, however, was I how I felt about the girl that would forever be eighteen in my memories. Loving Bella had altered me, and as a vampire there was no coming back from that. Denying myself the love and affection of the only woman I had ever, could ever love was the least that I could do for her. Bella deserved more than I could ever offer her. Whenever my resolve would begin to crumble, this was what I would cling to. Besides, the absence of her from my life was a reality I would over time get used to.......perhaps.

The most important thought I needed to hang onto, is that my Bella was alive, safe, and happy. Though, she wasn't really my Bella anymore was she? As loath as I was to even consider it, she was someone else's. Some nameless, faceless human had with her now, what I never could......never would have. Things were as they should be, I had to remind myself; this was what I wanted, why I'd left. I had never been able to fathom Bella being what I was, her heart no longer beating, the blush that so adorably stained her beautiful face being no more. Alice assured me that rather than chasing death, Bella was finally embracing her humanity. Maybe not in those words, but by Alice's description that she was happy, and had moved on, it was easy to infer. Could I let her go now? Would I ever truly be able to say she was no longer mine, and mean it?

Stiffly, I sat on the black leather couch while perusing the mostly familiar decor of my bedroom. A room that, until recently, I'd spent almost no time in for nearly a decade. Esme had updated the furnishings and added the few personal belongings I never left behind. After we'd left Forks Carlisle had chosen for us to settle at the family home in Alaska, near our Denali cousins. I'd left the decision up to him. I'd had no opinion regarding where we went, only that we needed to leave. It wasn't as though I was planning on spending much time wherever we relocated, seeing as how, rather than moving with my family I had exiled myself from everyone, travelling around the world since I'd left my Bella. Esme, ever the optimist had still readied my room and awaited my return. Now, after two years of mostly aimless wandering, I was ready to return to my family. Granted the face of our family had somewhat changed over that time.

Alice and Jasper parting had not been shocking to me at all, even though everyone else had seemed caught off guard by it. Then again, they hadn't seen Alice or Jasper's thoughts the way I had. Due to my gift, I had insight into their relationship, and how they both truly perceived it. Neither Alice nor Jasper had ever entertained the notion that their relationship was meant to be forever. There was someone meant for both of them, it just didn't happen to be each other.

Thinking of Alice always provoked feelings of guilt, even though she would be the first to dismiss them as ridiculous. I, however, felt responsible for her now being so alone. Bella had been the closest thing Alice ever had to a best friend, and I'd taken that away from her. Also, the timing of Jasper and Alice's marriage dissolving was no coincidence. The events on the night of Bella's birthday party had been what finally triggered Jasper's decision to leave. I wasn't sure I could ever make it up to my sister; I knew I could never give her back what she'd lost.

I suppose that was why I hadn't gone ballistic when Alice had admitted to seeing Bella. Allowing her to put closure to that friendship was the least I could do. I couldn't shake the niggling doubt plaguing though me that things were not as cut and dry as Alice would have me believe. I could trust Alice though, couldn't I? She was the sibling I was closest to, which also meant she knew me better than almost anyone. That wasn't always entirely a positive thing. Alice and I both had worked out over time how to skirt each other's gifts, never mind the innate ability to placate the other when needed. There was definitely something more that Alice was not telling me, after all it was Jasper that Carlisle had been speaking to, not Alice. I knew Carlisle and Alice well though. If they believed that I was adequately pacified by Alice's account of the situation, they would perhaps lower their guard in my presence. Then.........if there was something to hide, I would discover what it was. I realized how underhanded and manipulative this was, but whatever they were hiding pertained explicitly to Bella and that I could not ignore.

Rising from the sofa I swiftly left my room, deciding it was time to tell Carlisle that I had spoken with Alice. Taking my time, making my way down the hallway to Carlisle's study I took in how Esme had redecorated since the last time we'd lived here. Photos set in frames adorned the walls, one in particular stopping me in my tracks. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed it before. I'd been home well over a week, but I suppose I hadn't yet taken the time to really take in my surroundings. There were a number of frames containing photos taken during our years in Forks, but it was just one that I focused on. Prom.......the six of us......Rosalie and Emmet, Alice and Jasper, me and Bella. Initially, after the shock of seeing the photo wore off, I was filled with a near debilitating surge of betrayal. Betrayal that Esme would go out of her way to hurt me in this manner. Quite rapidly however, those feelings were replaced with a sense of understanding. I had forced Esme to leave Bella, who she'd come to think of as another daughter. I could not however, force her to stop caring about Bella.

* * *

**BPOV**

Jasper..........he was back. I was safe from Alice's examination of my nearly non-existent sex life with her ex-husband. Something wasn't right though. I could tell that Jasper was extremely upset by something. His posture was tense, his face set almost in a grimace. I had gone to him immediately, stepping into his embrace and wrapping my arms around him, wanting to shield Jasper from whatever seemed to be torturing him.

Alice had spoken the words that were merely bouncing around my head, almost as if I was afraid to ask for fear of his response. Then he spoke the two words that explained it all, yet at the same time caused me to hurtle full force into shut down mode. Carlisle knew about us, and there was little doubt in my mind that only meant one thing.......Edward would soon know as well.

Jasper began relaying the phone call from Carlisle, and why he'd had to explain about our relationship. I felt as though I was in a tunnel. I could hear Jasper, yet he sounded so far away. Cursing my apparent inability to deal with any sort of crisis, I willed myself to calm down. I was fed up with feeling so.......so weak. Using Jasper's voice and his soothing words as an anchor, I concentrated on keeping my mind with my body. As tempting as it was to let myself go to the place where nothing could hurt me, I knew I had to stay with Jasper. Opening my eyes, I gripped Jasper's shirt and looked up into his worried gaze.

"Bella? Darlin' are you alright?" The concern written all over Jasper's face sent a surge of guilt through me. He had so much more to deal with than me having a nervous breakdown.

"Wh-where's Alice." Looking around the kitchen, I noticed immediately that she was no longer present nor could I hear her voice.

"She's on the phone." Jasper's flat tone gave it away easily that he wasn't happy about it either.

"With?" I asked hesitantly.

"You don't want to know sweetheart." He shook his head, and wrapped his arms more securely around my body.

"Edward." I whispered as it dawned on me what exactly that could mean. He must know something; this was more than just a coincidence.

Jasper merely nodded his head, confirming my suspicions.

Suddenly, where moments earlier I'd felt nothing I was inexplicably hit with a furious rage. My entire body began to vibrate, while I tried to squelch the emotions which were threatening to become uncontrollable. I kept repeating the mantra in my head, "Think of Jasper, think of Jasper." I could already see how my nearly uncontainable fury was beginning to affect him. Darkening eyes, his arms no longer around me but braced at his sides, and his hands clenched in tight fists. With large shuddering breaths I willed myself to calm, erecting some of the wall I generally closed up tight around myself whenever I was feeling something entirely undesirable.

"Jazz, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I chanted, his face cradled between my hands as I placed chaste kisses along his clenched jaw.

"I'm fine Bella. I just need a moment." Jasper attempted to assure me as my apologies escalated into near sobs.

I hadn't noticed when the room had gotten darker. There was no way enough time had passed for it to be that late in the day already. From our position in the kitchen, I was able to see the source of the darkness through the window nestled between the cabinets and over the sink. Dark grey clouds were literally rolling across the sky, blocking out the sun that had peaked out for a time this morning. I shivered, a sense of foreboding settling over me. It was hard to distinguish the cause, unsure whether it was the volatile weather, or the uncertain nature of how everything with Edward would play out. All I knew with a certainty was that I felt weak.

* * *

**JPOV**

Bella's emotions where all over the place, I couldn't keep up. I was in an empath's nightmare. When I'd first entered the kitchen I'd felt Bella's discomfort, and only humour and curiosity radiating off of Alice. Very rapidly however, their feelings had shifted to concern. Bella had rushed to me, her warm little body pressed tightly to mine while her arms had wrapped around my waist. Almost immediately I'd felt comfort, not only from her touch, but from the feelings of love and fierce protectiveness that had seemed to flow from her to me. This was all new to me. Usually, I was the one expected to offer comfort and manipulate the emotions of whoever required it. To have Bella, without a thought, offer me the same meant more than I could even describe.

All of the warm and tender emotions I was able to draw from Bella came to a halt when I made the mistake of carelessly blurting out that Carlisle knew. Instantaneously, I'd felt absolutely nothing from Bella, who was once again encased in the emotional armour she was able to erect at will. Her body had stiffened, her eyes held a blank look; she was shutting down.

I'd rapidly explained to Alice all that had taken place over the phone with Carlisle and myself, while continuing to hold Bella gingerly in my arms, unable to let her go. I was no longer sure who was drawing comfort from whom at this point.

Not even the shrill ring of Alice's phone had been enough to break Bella from the nearly catatonic state she was on the cusp of. It had however sprung Alice into action and I couldn't help but feel her panic, followed by resignation, before settling on determination as she answered her phone to the only person that I was sure was able to make Alice react in that manner. Edward.

Even though I could only hear one half of the conversation, it was not difficult to ascertain what the topic of discussion was. Bella. If there was any comfort to be drawn from the fact that Edward had called Alice to discuss Bella, it was that it confirmed that Carlisle had not betrayed my trust. Edward did not know everything. If he had, I was sure there would not have been a courtesy call made first. He would have, without a doubt, already been on his way here.

Admittedly, even though part of my attention was on Alice's side of her conversation with Edward, the majority of my attention was on the beauty in my arms. Whispering quietly, assuring her everything was okay, including myself I kept Bella tucked close to my chest. She was already so far gone that I highly doubted she could hear all that I was saying to her. It was because of the extent of her withdrawal, that I was shocked when I felt her small hand fist the front of my shirt, only to look down to see her chocolate brown eyes staring at me, cleared of the fog that had moments ago clouded them.

Relief flooded through me, although it was short lived when she questioned where Alice was. I had no idea what to tell her. On one hand lying to her was not an option, but on the other, what would telling her that Alice was on the phone with Edward do to her?

Compromising the two options, I kept my answer vague. "She's on the phone."

I should have known Bella wouldn't leave it at that. "With?" It was apparent from her pensive tone that she had her suspicions.

"You don't want to know sweetheart." I answered, all but confirming who Alice was speaking with.

"Edward" was all Bella said, her tone flat, nearly void of emotion. I should have known this was merely the calm before the storm.

Rage.........pure, unadulterated rage filled me. The emotion was not my own though. It was Bella's. Clenching my jaw I dropped my arms from around Bella, my fists tight at my sides. I needed to get a handle on this; I couldn't allow what Bella was feeling to be the one thing to make me lose it. Controlling my own anger, my own fury was a cake walk around Bella. Her safety trumped everything. Reigning in what she was deflecting onto me was a whole other issue. I was preparing myself to flee the confines of the kitchen, to distance myself from Bella and to separate her from the danger I would be to her like this. As sudden as the rage reared it's destructive head, it was gone. In its stead was an unsettling calm. Looking at Bella I could see she was concentrating, her whole body taut.

I was awed once again at the control she could wield over her emotions. Always so insightful, of course she would have realized she was projecting onto me and she'd just stopped, like that. Amazing. All her anger replaced with remorse as her soft lips grazed over the skin of my jaw while she nearly sobbed out her apologies.

Then my world as I now knew it fell apart, and anguish I'd never before felt gripped me.

"No more. I can't do this anymore Jasper, we can't do this anymore." Bella sounded resolved, as she shook her head.

Was this it? Had she finally reached that point where she decided being with me was just not worth the effort, worth dredging up old hurts, and creating new ones? Could I let her go now that I had a taste of what a life with Bella could be like? So many questions, none that I could to bring myself to ask. Instead I could only stand stiffly in front of her, my whole body once again rigid. I prepared myself for the blow of her saying goodbye.


	23. Chapter 23

**All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N - Alright so I didn't quite keep my promise for a quick update. Unfortunately real life decided to kick my ass the last few weeks. To those that have been following this story, thank you for your patience! Not once have I received any sort of nastiness for my at times slow updates, you are all awesome! Thank you for all of the reviews. I wish I had the time to answer each and every one. For those of you that have reviewed each and every chapter THANK YOU! You wouldn't believe how motivated it keeps me even when life is kicking my ass. **

**My beta Georgia Dawgette deserves HUGE thanks! She has an extreme amount of patience with me and I'm not so sure this chapter would be even near completion without her help and ability to motivate me. **

* * *

_Previously_

_"No more. I can't do this anymore Jasper, we can't do this anymore." Bella sounded resolved, as she shook her head. _

_Was this it? Had she finally reached that point where she decided being with me was just not worth the effort, worth dredging up old hurts, and creating new ones? Could I let her go now that I had a taste of what a life with Bella could be like? So many questions, none that I could to bring myself to ask. Instead I could only stand stiffly in front of her, my whole body once again rigid. I prepared myself for the blow of her saying goodbye._

* * *

**BPOV**

I was tired of feeling weak, and fed up with my entire life and feelings being wrapped up in Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward.............for too long everything I was, or wasn't had depended on him. This could not continue. Jasper and I could never move forward, or build anything together so long as this, as long as he was hanging over our heads. I'd reached my limit; I would not do this anymore.

"No more." I shook my head vehemently. "I can't do this anymore Jasper, we can't do this anymore."

I stalked across the kitchen, away from Jasper. The physical distance was an attempt to shield him from my volatile emotions. Obviously a vain attempt, seeing as the expression gracing his face could only be described as pure agony. I yearned to rush back in to his arms, to comfort him, but the only way I could do that was to shut it all off. The lack of emotions or feelings of any sort coming from me was no consolation to him though, as I'd discovered over the past couple of days. He found my 'emptiness', as he'd so aptly described it, to be just as disconcerting, if not more so than anything negative I might be feeling.

"Bella.......don't do this........" Jasper's voice cracked. "Please........." His ochre eyes were pleading with me.

I couldn't understand his response. How could he not want me to take control of my life again? Didn't he want us to be free of the secrets and lies hanging over our heads, over our entire relationship? This was no way to start our lives together. Couldn't he see that?

Then it hit me, literally and figuratively. A nearly debilitating sense of loss seemed to punch me in the stomach, one that couldn't even compare to what I'd felt when Edward had left me in the woods. It was only then that I realized how he had interpreted what I'd said to him. I'd told him I couldn't do this anymore. My god, he thought that by 'this' I had meant us?

The man standing across the room from me was not the Jasper I knew. His head lowered, eyes on the floor, arms limp at his side, shoulders hunched.......he looked defeated. I had to fix this!

I quickly moved to stand before him again, my hands pressed against his muscular chest. "Jasper, look at me." I pleaded.

Raising his head so that I could see his handsome face, I tentatively slid one of my hands up his chest, along his neck to rest on his square jaw. "Bella.......please." He whispered.

"It's not what you're thinking...........I didn't think........didn't mean......." I stumbled over the words as I lost myself in his eyes, so full of despair. "Never Jasper, never could I leave you." Jasper's icy hand enveloped mine resting against his face as he nuzzled his cheek further into my hand. "I have no life without you in it." I all but sobbed out the admission.

All of the anxiety and desperation that had permeated the room moments before vanished, only to be replaced with immense relief and an aura of what I could only describe as love. Before I could even register the movement, Jasper had his arms wrapped around me, our bodies melded close together and his face pressed into my hair. "Baby, I'm not even sure anymore how I existed before you." His normally smooth voice sounding hoarse with emotion. "I thought I was losing you."

"Never." I stated emphatically. "I will not ever leave you, so long as you want me." Although the subject of 'forever' and me being changed had yet to be broached by either of us, I had no qualms about pledging my forever to Jasper.

"I will always want you." Jasper whispered as his lips pressed against my own.

For now, his words were the only assurances I needed. Combing my fingers into his tangled, blonde curls I angled my lips against his, deepening the kiss. Feeling his tongue brush my lower lip I opened my mouth a fraction, granting him entrance. Jasper's tongue tangled with my own as his long fingers found purchase around my waist, pulling my body flush against his. His tongue and lips were beginning to elicit soft mewling and moaning sounds whenever he would pull away just enough for me to take a breath. It was as if we couldn't get enough of each other, each of us feeding off the emotions of the other. The intensity of the moment made every other time we'd touched pale in comparison, even the night his hands had explored all of me. This was more than just a physical connection; it was a reaffirmation of the immense bond between us.

All too soon however, our passionate impromptu make out session was brought to an abrupt halt, when we heard a slight "ahem" coming from the direction of the entryway between the living room and the kitchen.

Hesitantly, I turned my head towards the owner of the ahem, already knowing who I would see. Alice.........and cue the mortification. Instantaneously I could feel the heat radiating from my face, positive I was nearly glowing red. It was one thing for her to know I was intimately involved with her former husband; it was a whole other thing for her to see it up close and personal.

Alice of course, did not appear to be at all phased by what she'd walked in on, quite the opposite in fact. While I glowed red, Jasper continued to hold me close to his body while Alice stood in the doorway with a rather pleased smile plastered on her beautiful face.

"Shut up Alice." I mumbled before she could say a word, as I attempted to disengage myself from Jasper's arms. This proved to be a more difficult feat than I had anticipated. A deep chuckle emanated from him as I tried. As much as I wanted to be annoyed by it, I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but relief at hearing him sound happy, as opposed to the feelings that had plagued him only minutes before. The relief began to ebb somewhat as I realized that we had yet to discuss what I'd decided to do about Edward, as well as the details of Alice's phone call with him.

* * *

**JPOV**

Never in my existence had I experienced the kind of agony that I'd felt when I thought Bella was saying goodbye. If any doubt had existed in my mind that she was truly meant for me, that one moment, when I thought I'd lost her had completely eliminated any doubt from my mind. By the same token, I'd never before experienced the sweet relief that had washed over me when Bella had assured me she had no intention of leaving me, and that I had misunderstood her words. It was becoming apparent as the days passed that Bella was quite adept at provoking extreme emotions from me, both good and bad. Especially the good though. When she'd deepened the rather chaste kiss I'd initiated, all sense of why this wasn't the best time for us to be indulging in the physical aspects of our relationship seemed to fail me. Instead, I'd become engulfed by her scent, the feel of her warm pliant lips against mine, her soft and fragile body under my fingers, and the immense feelings of overwhelming love coupled with lust emanating from her.

The fact that we had yet to address what she had really meant by not being able to do this anymore, or that Alice was in the next room failed to hold any weight when my senses were so filled by Bella. Had it not been for Alice's timely 'ahem', I'm almost certain I would have ended up taking Bella for the first time in the middle of my kitchen. As frustrating as it was becoming, I was actually grateful for Alice's cock blocking. Bella, however, I don't think appreciated the gesture nearly as much as I did. I didn't need to be an empath to pick up on her embarrassment and utter mortification at being busted by none other than Alice. Of course, her first instinct had been to step away from me, but I was having none of that. There would be no more hiding what was between us, especially in my own home. So rather than allowing her to pull away, I locked Bella in my embrace while laughing at her attempt to struggle.

Bella gave up her vain effort to extract herself from my arms rather quickly, embarrassment giving way to impatience. The impatience I was certain stemmed from having to wait for Alice to say something, anything, about her phone call with Edward.

"Spill already Alice." I huffed, Bella's impatience obviously intensifying my own.

"I've bought you both some time. Edward is........well he's suspicious, that much was obvious. Though he doesn't know anymore more than, that we," She motioned between me and herself, "have been in contact with Bella in some way or another."

"So, Carlisle has been able to keep him out of his head?" I asked, relieved to have it confirmed that the man I considered my father, had not betrayed my trust.

"Mostly yes." Alice nodded her head.

There were things Alice wasn't saying, that much was apparent. You can't live with someone as long as Alice and I did and not be able to tell when something isn't being said. That being said, I also knew Alice would not keep anything from me that was paramount to Bella's well being. I would have to trust that whatever Alice wasn't saying, was more for Bella's benefit than not, and that she would eventually tell me.

"I want to tell him." Bella suddenly spoke up. "I can't keep waiting, and worrying that Edward will find out and how he will react." Her earlier statement was now starting to make sense.

"He has owned every emotion, every action, and almost every decision I have made since I was seventeen years old." Bella's emotions began to fluctuate again. I projected calm onto her while leaning down to place soothing kisses across her temple. "He doesn't get to own this, I want to be free." Bella's words accompanied her tucking her body in closer to mine.

As much as I wanted to stay in the bubble Bella and I had created for ourselves this weekend, I knew it wasn't possible. I could not, would not shelter her the way Edward had tended to, although the urge to do just that was at times overwhelming. Bella had seen and experienced enough in her short human life to have proved her capable of handling more than one would assume she could handle. There was however, one thing I could do for her. I could be the one to tell Edward and face the wrath and fury that would result. If there was one thing that I would never allow, it was for Bella to end up in the middle of the war that would ensue between my brother and I.

"I will tell him." I asserted while looking down at her tear stained face.

"No!" Bella wrenched her body away from mine to stand between me and Alice. I could feel the determination, and something akin to panic radiating from her. "This is my battle Jasper and I won't have you fighting it for me."

"Stop being so stubborn." I threw my hands up and raised my voice in frustration. "You have no idea how he is going to react. Darlin, you've seen first hand the damage we can do, yet still you insist on putting yourself in that kind of danger?" I was all but yelling at this point. Did she not realize what could happen if Edward became territorial, or worse if the hard fought control he'd mastered around her in the past slipped for even a moment?

"Edward would never hurt me." Bella's eyes darted between Alice and I before stuttering out the afterthought of, "physically anyway."

"Intentionally, no he wouldn't." Alice interjected. "But this admission, this uh situation could test his control Bella." Alice hung her head, and I knew without a doubt that this wasn't something she was only hazarding a guess over. She'd already seen the outcome of Bella facing Edward on her own.

"Alice?" My question hung unasked between us.

Alice stepped gingerly towards Bella and grasped her upper arms. "Bella I love you like a sister, and I realize you need to do this, in fact I encourage it." Alice took a steadying unnecessary breath, "But please, listen to Jasper. You cannot face Edward on your own; you must allow us to be there with you. The consequences of you doing this on your own would be too great Bella." The calm expression gracing Alice's delicate features did little to erase from my mind the look of horror that had flitted across her face a few minutes earlier

"Alright." Bella sighed, she hung her head momentarily before turning her gaze towards me and extending her hand out in my direction. "We will do this together." She agreed as I grasped her now clammy hand in mine.

"Thank you." I breathed in deeply, unaware that I'd been holding my breath.

I met Alice's eyes, reading the relief not only in their ochre depths, but also in the emotions she was giving off. I had a distinct feeling that whatever outcome Alice had seen when Bella decided to confront Edward on her own, had been devastating. I could only hope the outcome would be fractionally improved by her agreeing to us doing this together.

* * *

**APOV**

I don't think I had ever truly comprehended everything Bella had experienced since becoming part of our world, until she spoke of how Edward had essentially owned every aspect of her life since meeting him. I, better than any other member of my family, had seen how things between them had been. I had no doubt that Edward loved her, in his own way, and there was no question that Bella had been unequivocally and unconditionally in love with my brother. But.......I also had observed how Edward had controlled every aspect of their romance. There had been no equality. I hesitated to describe it as controlling, as everything he'd done had been to keep Bella safe, and her heart beating. However, Edward never truly understood that Bella had been more than willing to give up her mortal life, in order to spend eternity with him. It had perplexed me how he'd been perpetually willing to give Bella anything, except the one thing she wanted most. So yes, I could see how she would feel that Edward had owned everything about her for far too long.

The Bella I had witnessed in Jasper's arms when I'd inadvertently interrupted their, if I was being completely truthful, extremely passionate kiss in the kitchen, was not Edward's Bella. She no longer was the self conscious teenager of only a couple of years ago, but a confident young woman more than willing and able to express not only what she wanted in her relationship with Jasper, but her feelings for him as well.

Jasper and Bella were two of the most important beings in my life, and as strange as I'm sure it would be for many to comprehend, seeing them as I had, so wrapped up in each other, had been one of the best things I'd seen in a very long time. I know Bella was having a hard time understanding how I was okay with their relationship, and I could only hope that with time, she would begin to see things the way I did. Jasper was more than my former husband; he was the one being in the world that knew me like no other. He also was never meant to be mine in the way that he was so obviously hers. I hope that one day she will be able to trust in my happiness for them.

I had told Jasper that this needed to be done. That Bella would need to face not only her past with Edward, but the man himself if they were ever to be free to pursue a life together. So why now that Bella was onboard was a sense of dread settling over me? Naturally, I'd seen glimpses of how the situation would play out. Bella would have her work cut out for her, Edward was not going to let go easily. But the visions that played through my mind when Bella announced that she wouldn't have Jasper fight her battles for her, that this was something she had to do, were unfathomable. If she persisted in doing this on her own, we would lose both of them.

Wringing my fingers together, while my gaze drifted back and forth between the couple in front of me, I felt the dread turn to panic. I couldn't let this happen. It would destroy completely our now only fractured family, and the fall out would be something Jasper would never be able to come back from.

Attempting and miraculously succeeding in maintaining a facade of calm, I explained to Bella that although Edward would never intentionally harm her physically, the fact remained that at any time his baser instincts could override the humanity he worked so hard to maintain.

"Alice?" My name spoken as a question from Jasper, asked me what he couldn't in front of Bella. No other words were needed though; I knew he was asking if I'd seen what the effects of Bella's decision would be.

It was surprising how easy it was to convince Bella to agree not to confront Edward alone once I stood before her, my hands gently grasping her arms; my eyes pleading with hers to let this stubborn notion go.

Relief was a mild and completely inept description of what I felt when my vision changed, the utter destruction of everything dear to me no longer imminent.

* * *

**BPOV**

I sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in flannel grey and pink plaid pajama pants and matching grey spaghetti strap tank top. The weakness and fear I'd felt earlier was all but gone; I felt strong and more sure of what I wanted now than I ever had.

We were going to tell Edward. There was no set time as to when yet, only that we would plan it around my classes which we'd determined wouldn't be at all difficult. Seeing as how my last class on Friday ended before noon, and I wasn't scheduled to have class again until Tuesday morning, every weekend was a long weekend for me. I was very grateful for how I had planned my schedule. One of the greatest things to come from my, our decision to tell him, was that the stress of waiting for him to find out on his own was dissipating. Granted, we wanted to be the ones to reveal the truth to him, but we no longer feared him finding out another way. The realization had been freeing.

My thoughts wandered to the emotionally charged afternoon that had occurred. After things had been settled, Alice had taken it upon herself to decide that Jasper and I needed time alone; she had said we needed to decompress. I'd immediately had an immense amount of guilt that she felt the need to leave Jasper and I alone when she'd essentially just gotten here.

In typical Alice-like fashion, she'd dismissed both me and Jasper when we'd urged her to stay, and had insisted I stop being absurd when I'd apologized profusely for the drama that had interrupted our reunion. She had then gone on to maintain that her inner diva was all but screaming for a stay in a five star hotel after being holed up in the wilds of Alaska for so long, and that she already had reservations made at The Ritz Carlton. Alice had giggled when I'd asked her why in the world she'd need a hotel room that she wouldn't sleep in.

"Silly Bella, sometimes a girl just needs to be surrounded by a little luxury." Had been her exact words.

After promises that we would see each other tomorrow, and spend the last day before I had to go back to class together, Alice left for the evening. The events of the day had done little in the way of provoking my appetite for food, but at Jasper's urging I'd prepared myself a small salad for dinner while he took a moment to call Peter to offer him a cliff note explanation of what had taken place, as well as begging off the offer of Peter and Char paying us a visit. Jasper had explained that neither of us were in the frame of mind for it, and really just desired a quiet night together. If I didn't think about it too hard, I could almost picture us being a typical couple spending a Sunday evening at home together. Unfortunately, my aptitude for over thinking.....everything didn't allow for that particular fantasy to stick around too long in my mind.

And this is how I now found myself perched on the edge of Jasper's bed, waiting while he finished his shower before we settled into our night of 'togetherness', as I was internally dubbing it now. Hearing the spray of water in the shower cease, I was unexpectedly hit with a feeling of nervousness. For more than a few minutes now, the reality that only a door separated me from a gloriously wet and very naked Jasper had been playing havoc with my libido. This, coupled with the fact I had decided that I didn't want to wait any longer to belong to Jasper in every sense of the word, I was impressed with myself that I wasn't a very large vibrating bundle of nerves.

After coming to the conclusion that we would very soon be telling Edward about our relationship, I had decided that when the time came I wanted to go into it with Jasper and I belonging to each other not only emotionally, but physically as well. If I was to be completely truthful, there was a small part of me that wanted to go into the confrontation with Edward with there being solid proof that what Jasper and I had ran deeper than anything Edward and I had ever had together. However, a much larger part of me just simply wanted........him, wanted to show him how deep my love ran for him, wanted to take that step to merge our emotional bond with the physical.

The click of the bathroom door opening succeeded in not only distracting me from my thoughts, but also in increasing my nervousness to a nearly insurmountable degree. The sight that I beheld when I raised my eyes to look at the man who exited the steam filled room overwhelmed me completely.

Jasper........perfection......his blond curls falling in wet disarray around his handsome face, drops of water still dripping down his broad shoulders, trailing along the pale skin of his chiseled chest, the sparse trail of fair hair below his navel, leading into the towel which hung loosely around his narrow hips where a very obvious V only accented his perfectly formed abs. Not even the crescent shaped scars that were visible across his chest, shoulders and arms could detract from his appeal. It was the complete opposite in fact, they only served to enhance the ruggedness that contributed to his appeal. My mouth went dry, and I couldn't be completely certain as to whether my jaw hadn't hit the floor. Jasper smirked, and cocked his head to the side. There was not a doubt in my mind that he knew absolutely every feeling that went raging through me at the mere sight of him.

"Bella?" The deep timbre of Jasper's voice laced with a questioning lilt flowed over me, causing a shiver to run through me.

"Hmmhmmm?" It was as though I was suddenly unable to form a coherent thought. What was wrong with me? I'm an intelligent woman, capable of articulating myself so much better than a mumbled 'hmmmhmmm. Besides, this wasn't a new development, I'd already seen him with less on than the towel that was currently gracing his slim hips.

"You okay darlin'?" He drawled.

"Never better." I answered.

Damn him, he knew exactly what he was doing to me. Cocky empath!

"Alright, if you're sure." Jasper shrugged his broad shoulders before walking to his dresser to dig out a pair of pajama pants.

The urge to chuck one of the many pillows piled on the bed at his back was nearly overwhelming. That is, until, with his back still turned to me he dropped the towel from around his hips. Bending forward slightly he began slipping his pajama pants up his muscled legs. I couldn't help the slight groan that escaped my lips, a groan he'd no doubt heard. My suspicion was all but confirmed when he seemed to take his sweet time sliding the cotton material up his legs.

The man was maddening! Between the plethora of emotions I was throwing off, and the lack of control I seemed to have over my physical reaction to him, there was no way he was in the dark as to what I wanted. I shouldn't have been surprised. More than once Jasper had insisted that everything we did would be at my pace. The ball was in my court, and he was no doubt waiting to see what I would do with it.

**A/N - Next chapter things will **_**FINALLY**_** heat up.......promise!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Everything Twilight belongs to the amazing Stephanie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them. **

**A/N - Once again I need to apologize. Sorry, sorry, sorry for the length of time it took me to update. I'll spare you all the boring details of all the reasons why it took me forever. Thank you to all my regular readers for being so patient. Hopefully this chapter makes up for the wait. I also need to thank you for the reaction to the last chapter, it was amazing and many of the reviews were hilarious! You ladies are the best!**

**A million thanks to my beta, Georgia Dawgette! She was uber patient when it came to recieving bits and pieces of this chapter as I had them ready and she gave me a kick in the ass when needed. Also although she denies it, the ideas she gives me once she sees the "finished copy" are always amazing and inspire me to pretty much always add that little bit more. She's much to modest! **

**Also, this story is rated M for a reason, this chapter being one of those reasons. **

* * *

_**Previously**_

_The man was maddening! Between the plethora of emotions I was throwing off, and the lack of control I seemed to have over my physical reaction to him, there was no way he was in the dark as to what I wanted. I shouldn't have been surprised. More than once Jasper had insisted that everything we did would be at my pace. The ball was in my court, and he was no doubt waiting to see what I would do with it_

* * *

**JPOV**

I had not missed the way Bella had reacted to my attire, or rather the lack thereof when I entered my bedroom. The sudden hitch of breath she'd drawn in, along with the acceleration of her heartbeat had not escaped my enhanced hearing. From the moment I had entered the room I'd been able to detect quite the range of emotions radiating from her...affection, nervousness, frustration, and a passionate hunger I had yet to experience so intensely from her before. What had nearly caused my undoing though, was her scent, and it had absolutely nothing to do with her blood. Bella was aroused, and although tantalizing; the scent of her blood had nothing on the musky perfume of her arousal. For once, it was not the craving for her blood that I was fighting to control, but rather my craving for her luscious body. However, I'd sworn not only to myself, but to Bella as well, that I would let her set the pace for the physical side of our relationship, a promise that was becoming more and more difficult to adhere to. My more primitive, animalistic side demanded I take what was mine, and to lay claim to my mate, while the man in me urged me to allow Bella to make the first move. If I was being honest, much of the turmoil I was experiencing at this moment was of my own making. From the moment I'd walked out of the bathroom and saw Bella perched on the edge of my bed, I had done very little to discourage her reaction to me. In fact, I'd done the exact opposite, making a point to provoke her more wanton emotions, all the while reveling in her physical and emotional reactions.

Taking a series of shallow breaths, I attempted to control my wayward body which had begun to more than react to Bella's physical and emotional responses to me. Then I heard it...the soft padding of feet crossing the carpet to where I was standing in front of my dresser. Not wanting to spook her, I stood stock still, giving off the illusion that I hadn't heard Bella approaching. Granted, it was an illusion I knew she'd see right through. Bella had spent enough time around my kind to be more than aware of our heightened senses.

Hot little hands pressed against my bare lower back, but it was the excruciatingly slow sweeping motion of those same hands traveling up my back that caused me to clutch the edge of the dresser; the wood groaning and cracking under the pressure of my fingers. I barely breathed, her scent much more concentrated due to her proximity. When I felt warm puffs of her breath followed by the moist touch of her lips, it took every ounce of control that I could muster to keep from turning around so that I could make her aware of exactly what she was doing to me.

"Jazz?" Bella murmured my name in while continuing with the hot, wet pecks of her lips interspersed with gentle sweeps of her hands.

"Uh huh?" Was all I was able to force out between my clenched teeth.

"I'm ready." Her whisper would have been barely audible to human hearing.

She was ready? My mind was so addled by the very nearness of her that the full meaning of her statement failed to register completely. As a vampire, it is second nature to be able to process multiple thoughts, but such was not the case when I was being overwhelmed by everything Bella. What was it she was ready for? It was only when Bella's slim fingers slid around to caress over the tense muscles of my abdomen, then slipped lower to run gingerly along the edge of my pajama pants did a sudden dawning begin to take place.

Grasping her wandering hands in my own I pulled her in front of me, essentially trapping her between my unyielding body and the front of the large oak dresser. With my hands planted on either side of her fragile little body, I took a moment to allow my eyes to take her in, gauging her reaction to the sudden shift in our position. Bella's expressive eyes were locked on me, not an ounce of apprehension present in them. A faint blush stained her cheeks, and she'd drawn her lower lip between her teeth, something that usually signaled her nervousness. I was certain she'd be trying to push me away, albeit in vain, but rather than having her hands planted on my chest in a defensive manner she continued to coast them up and down my torso.

"Are you sure?" My eyes bored into hers. I kept my tone gentle, soothing even. The last thing I wanted Bella to feel because of my need for confirmation was rejection. I leaned my lower body into the soft cradle of her hips. I wanted Bella to feel the physical proof of my desire for her, not only to stave off any deluded sense of rejection over my question, but so that she would be fully aware of what she was agreeing to.

Bella audibly gasped, her eyes widening slightly at the contact of my body against hers.

"Bella?" I questioned.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." Bella nodded her head as she spoke, her gaze never wavering from mine. "I. Want. You. Jasper."

She had given me all the confirmation I needed. A surprised squeal escaped from Bella's mouth when I suddenly and effortlessly lifted her into my arms, and proceeded to stalk across my room toward the ridiculously large bed for which I was now beyond grateful I'd purchased.

BPOV

"I. Want. You. Jasper."

I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting to happen when I said those four words. I'm pretty sure though, that I hadn't expected Jasper to lift me into his arms as though I weighed nothing at all, and start in the direction of his bed. I had all but convinced myself that it would take much, much more to convince him of what I wanted, considering his protective tendencies. It was almost too easy.

Stop Bella! I silently scolded myself. I would not over think this. I wanted this man more than anything in the world, and by some miracle he wanted me as well. I would not spoil this with my insecurities, ones I had no reason to feel. Jasper had been more than forthcoming about his feelings, and well, his desire for me. Especially considering his little, or rather not so little move against the dresser. I thought for certain that I was going to completely combust when he'd leaned his hips into mine, his prominent erection had been beyond evident. Heat swirled low in my belly, and breathing had become something that took a concerted effort.

When Jasper had literally swept me off of my feet and into his powerful arms I'd let out the most mortifying squeal. With less awkwardness that I felt, I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face against his solid chest, hoping to hide the blush that was a bi-product of my very un-sexy squeal. I didn't have to see Jasper's face to know that he was more than amused by my reaction. I was fairly certain that the giddiness I was experiencing wasn't entirely my own.

After setting me against the mound of pillows in the middle of his bed, Jasper stretched out beside me lying on his side, his elbow bent and head resting in his hand. The expression on his face as he gazed down on me was intense, and I waited, barely breathing for him to say or do...something. I could feel my heart beating a steady rhythm in my chest; set all the more aflutter knowing that he could hear it as clearly as I could feel it. Was I nervous? Most definitely! This was a huge step in our relationship, but one that I had absolutely no doubts I wanted to take. As inappropriate a time as it could be to have thoughts of Edward, I couldn't help but reflect that I'd never felt like this with him. There was an intensity, a fire between Jasper and I that had been lacking with Edward. Shaking my head, I forced all thoughts of Edward from my mind, wanting instead to focus on the man beside me. The man that I was more than ready to give myself to completely and, in a way that I had never belonged to anyone else.

* * *

**JPOV**

She was perfection. With my head propped on my elbow, I couldn't keep myself from staring down at her. I could feel her nervousness, and clearly hear the rapid beat of her heart, how I loved that sound. Now, I could honestly understand why Edward had been so drawn, and frankly nearly obsessed with its steady beat. Neither of us said a word, even though we were unable to tear our eyes away from the other. Slowly, so as not to startle her, I cupped her face in my hand, her warmth being absorbed by my cold skin. Bella's lips parted just slightly, as I swept my thumb over her plump and very inviting lower lip.

"So beautiful." I whispered, finally breaking the silence that had encased us.

A blush crept up her cheeks, staining her fair skin a deep rose color. Bella's innocent reaction only served to increase my need for her. How she could not see for herself just how very desirable she is, was beyond me. Only the fact that she was so fragile, was enabling me to keep my nearly raging libido in check. I'd had my fair share of women, but never like this. Never with a human whose life I held in such high regard, and never with someone I loved to the point of distraction. In so many ways this would be as much my first time, as hers.

Moving my thumb from her lips, across her jaw, down the creamy slope of her throat I watched as her eyes fluttered shut, and a soft sigh escaped from between her lips. Almost reverently, I caressed the skin just above the fabric of her shirt before slipping the thin straps off of her shoulders and replacing my hands with my lips. Her skin was so soft, and she smelled absolutely delectable. My need for her increased exponentially when I felt the increase in Bella's arousal coupled with the hot touch of her hands sweeping up over the bare skin of my back as I interspersed kisses with gentle flicks of my tongue against her skin.

"Please Jasper." Bella murmured, as I shifted my attention to the sliver of exposed skin between the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her pajama pants. I couldn't help the triumphant feeling or the groan that escaped me when Bella's midsection rose off of the mattress when I ran my tongue around the tiny indentation of her navel.

"Patience darlin'" I urged, even though I was hanging onto my own control by a very thin thread. Bella's every reaction to the way I touched and kissed her body called to me. The increased speed of her pulse, the feelings of lust and want she was emitting, and her scent...the tantalizing aroma that was a tell tale sign of how wet she'd become for me. She was ready for me, but I was in no way finished with my explorations of her luscious little body. I had every intention of taking my time and making this experience something she would never forget.

Slipping my hands under the hem of Bella's shirt I slid the material up, baring her to me, inch by glorious inch. Sensing no hesitancy from her, I proceeded to remove the thin piece of material completely. Raising my eyes to hers, I wasn't surprised to see a slight blush gracing her delicate features, although I was fairly certain it was not due to embarrassment or shyness. The look in Bella's eyes was of pure, unadulterated, desire.

Dipping my head, I sought out Bella's mouth, my tongue tracing her lower lips before ever so gently sucking it between mine. A low growl of passion rumbled up from my chest, as Bella's delicate fingers tangled in my hair while she angled her head and met my kisses with equal fervor.

Every emotion radiating from the beauty in my arms urged me to lose myself in her, but it was the feelings of affection that succeeded in harnessing the demon within, allowing the man in me to take the lead. Always cognizant of my strength when touching Bella, I cupped a pale breast in my hand and proceeded to sweep my thumb over the pebbling nipple. Bella's kisses became more frantic, and heated as I continued with my gentle ministrations.

"Jasper please..." She moaned once again when I began to trail kisses from her mouth, to her chin, down the slope of her throat and over the taut skin of her collar bone.

"What is it you want darlin'? I asked, my voice sounding gravely even to my own ears.

"Y-y-your mouth..." Bella whispered throatily.

"And where do you want my mouth Bella?" The spike I felt in the level of lust she was emitting fuelled me on as I whispered the words in her ear, allowing my cool breath to tickle across her skin.

"Jasper..." She sighed, the telltale blush staining her cheeks. I could sense her embarrassment which only accentuated her innocence.

"Here?" I asked with a slight chuckle, as I kissed the underside of one breast as she watched my movements with hooded eyes. A slight shake of her head giving me my answer.

"Hmmm, here? I moved my mouth to the valley between her breasts as I teased her with just the tip of my tongue. My inquiry was met with a more forceful shake of her head.

"Then how about here?" I purred, then swiped my tongue over one pert nipple before drawing it completely into my mouth.

"Yessss..." Bella hissed as I moved my head back and forth paying equal attention to both of her breasts. At once I was caught up in the taste and smell of her. She was exquisite.

I felt her warm fingers inch hesitantly across the waistband of my pajama pants. Looking up from where my attention was currently fixated I watched for a brief moment as her eyes followed the path of her fingers. Threading my fingers through hers, I raised her arm above her head to rest on the pile of pillows beneath her while shaking my head when her eyes met mine.

"Jazz...but..." Her voice was laced with confusion.

"Sweetheart I want this to be about you. I want to take my time, and make this special for you, for us. If your hands keep wandering you're going to make that extremely difficult for me." I smirked at the blush that once again graced her cheeks.

"But I want to touch you." Bella continued from where I'd interrupted, her plump lips in an alluring pout.

I wasn't sure I could feel more aroused, more at the edge of losing all semblance of self control until Bella's admission, sighed from between her pouty lips illiceted images of her tiny, delicate, warm hands...I had to suppress the groan threatening to burst forth from deep in my chest. There was though, only one thing I craved more than her touch. I wanted to create a frenzy, unleash a passion in her she'd never before experienced with anyone else.

"And you will darlin'. But my kind is selfish by nature and I'm feeling particularly selfish right now. What I want is to see you let go completely in my arms." I whispered the words in her ear as my hands traveled down to run my finger along the waistband of her pants, similar to what she had attempted. Her sharp intake of breath was all the assurance I needed that she wasn't about to argue.

* * *

**BPOV**

The feelings and sensations this man could evoke from me were mind boggling. Jasper's voice, gruffer and possibly even deeper than usual, his scent, the natural fragrance that was more provocative than anything you'd ever find in a bottle. His touch, every time Jasper's fingers or lips made contact with my over sensitized skin it was as though tiny flames were licking at my body, consuming me and creating a burning need for him.

In between wandering hands and a mixture of lingering and teasing kisses what was left of our clothing was discarded, leaving no barriers between the warm softness of my body and the cool hardness of his. Being uncharacteristically bold, I swept my eyes up and down Jasper's gloriously nude form beside me. Broad shoulders, long limbs, lithe muscles rippling under fair skin; the only possible imperfection being the scars that marked him, and yet I didn't...couldn't see them that way. Even they were strangely perfect, only adding to Jasper's allure rather than detracting from it. Rippling abs, leading to the delectable V of his hips and the most intimate area of his body...long and thick and as captivatingly striking as the rest of him. I reveled in his beauty, and not for the first time I had to wonder why me? Why would someone like him...beautiful, powerful, immortal, want someone like me...plain, broken, and human?

"Stop Bella." Jasper's voice was gentle, yet his words a command. "No insecurities allowed in here." He tipped my face up so that we were eye to eye.

Damn him, and his ability to read every nuance of what I'm feeling. Rather than spew off all the obvious reasons for said insecurities, I chose the path of least resistance, avoidance. Closing my eyes I sucked my lower lip between my teeth and proceeded to nibble on the plump flesh nervously, hoping Jasper would let it go and just touch me again. Touch me he did, one cold digit tenderly coaxing my lip from between the nervous clamp of my teeth.

"Baby, look at me." He pleaded and I was powerless to deny him. "What is causing this anxiousness? The self doubt that's pouring off of you?"

"N-nothing." I mumbled as I pulled myself up so that I could sit, knees bent and wrap my arms around them.

"Tell me Bella, please." Jasper's voice was pained, and the expression on his face one of confusion, and hurt. Hurt?

"You, Jasper you're just so...so...so everything. It's always the same Jazz." My voice rose an octave in my frustration of having to explain this to him. These bouts of insecurity infuriated me. The other morning I'd felt so much confidence in his presence yet now I only felt unbelievably inferior. Besides, how could he not see how heavily tipped the scales were in his favor? "You, your kind, all so beautifully perfect, strong and powerful, immortal. Seeing you like this..." I gestured to the length of his body with my hand, "It reinforces how I will never measure up." My voice had trailed off until it was barely a whisper.

"Are you serious?" His tone was incredulous as he propped himself up further on the mountain of pillows, running his hands through his mass of blonde curls. The spark ignited once again in my belly at the sight of him, unabashed by his nudity, biceps bulging every time his fingers flexed through his hair.

Jasper ceased the motion of his fingers and peered around his arms at me, a smirk alight on his face. I felt the heat of embarrassment hot on my face.

"Stupid empath." I muttered under my breath, mortified once again that he knew without me saying or doing anything how my body reacted to just the sight of him.

"Oh my sweet, beautiful, oblivious Bella." Jasper chuckled. "How is it that you cannot see yourself the way I see you?"

I merely shrugged my shoulders, but said nothing.

"You Bella, are exquisite. A mixture of beauty, strength, intelligence and the kindest heart I've ever known." The weight of the bed shifted as he moved closer to where I sat curled in on myself. "Yet you continue to see yourself as plain, ordinary even, when you are anything but. I will tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me."

One icy finger ran down the center of my back, causing a shiver to course through my body. It was not the coolness of his touch that triggered the response but rather the ecstasy just one touch from Jasper was able to elicit.

"Come back to me." He implored. "Let me tell you, show you, exactly what you do to me Bella."

I could deny him nothing, and with very little hesitation I moved back into his arms. Immediately he buried his face in my hair.

"You are my weakness Bella, but only in the best possible way. One look at you and I'm powerless, you completely own me." Jasper's words were only slightly muffled by the veil of my hair where he'd kept his face buried as he inhaled deeply. "Your skin, so soft, so warm and when you blush...god." His groan was almost primal as his hands ghosted over my body. "I want you like I've never wanted another, and not just your body, but your mind, your heart...all of you. I'm not even sure you realize the gift you're giving me."

I looked at him questioningly, confused by his words. What gift could I possibly give him, when he'd already given me so much. He'd given me back the ability to love, to feel. I could never repay that.

"I cannot describe to you what it means that I will be the first, the only..." Jasper paused as he shifted so that once again we were side by side, his large frame dwarfing mine as he leaned over me.

"To touch you..."

His hands were everywhere, yet tender in their exploration. Across my breasts, his thumbs ever so softly teasing my quickly hardening nipples. The ache low in my body growing with every sweep of his thumbs, it was the most exquisite torture.

"Like this..."

His cool caresses trailed lower, and I whimpered at the loss of the tender strokes that had mildly relieved the ache and throb coursing through me. Whimpers turned to almost wanton pants I could not control as I fisted my hands tightly in the sheets when he parted my legs and trailed his fingertips up my inner thighs. He inched closer, and closer to where I most desired to feel him.

"Where only I have ever been."

Memories of the first night I'd stayed here with him floated through my mind, reminding me of the pleasure that awaited me as Jasper's fingers tenderly parted my folds, spreading the moisture from my opening up to the swollen, sensitive nub of flesh that throbbed mercilessly.

"So wet for me." Jasper groaned almost breathlessly, "Only me."

His mouth crashed against mine. This kiss was different from any other we'd shared. There was almost a desperation to it. His fingers were relentless between my thighs, stroking, dipping one then two inside of me. I was powerless to do anything but dig my nails into the unyielding flesh of his back while I writhed beneath him. Pants turned to moans as I lost the tenuous grip I'd had on controlling my reactions to Jasper.

"Only you Jasper, it will always only be for you." I gasped when he broke the kiss to allow me to breathe.

"I love you Bella." His entire demeanor changed, the desperation I'd sensed erased as quickly as it had appeared. "I need you to know that if you give me the gift of your innocence, if I claim you...I will never let you go, ever." His eyes, so dark with the emotions coursing through the room, bored into mine.

"I'll never want you to let me go." My mind was clear, my insecurities squelched for the time being. "I only ever want to belong to you."

My inner voice, that I could never seem to completely silence, reminded me of the perks of Jasper being an empath. Words were not really a requirement when he could ensure that I felt everything he was feeling. And felt it I had, every ounce of love, desire, want, the overwhelming entirety of what he'd tried so many times to explain to me, but I'd been hesitant to believe. To a degree, I still could not wrap my head around the why, but I would not, could not question his sincerity any longer. To some, Jasper declaring that he wanted to claim me, to never let me go would seem archaic and extreme, but it fit us perfectly. I would belong to him alone, just as he would belong only to me. An unbreakable tie, a bond, would be forged that had the potential to catapult us to a whole other level of commitment. A concept that I found both exhilarating and petrifying.

* * *

**JPOV**

"I only ever want to belong to you."

Belong to me, Bella would be mine as much as I was already hers. I felt like the worst kind of bastard for thinking it, and if I was being brutally honest, reveling in the fact that once we took this step, Edward would have no claim on Bella. She would be mated with me. The chauvinistic nature of these thoughts would have disturbed me, had it not been for the fact that she would also own a part of me that could never belong to another. Although it no longer beat, my heart would belong to her for eternity.

Saving these musings for later, I refocused my thoughts on Bella's warm, pliant body beneath me. The silken feel of her wet folds, the heat and softness that encased my fingers as I rhythmically stroked in and out, while my thumb strummed across her engorged nub.

"There will be pain darlin'" I watched Bella's face for her reaction, preparing myself to stop at even the hint of hesitation on her part.

"I know." She nodded, anticipation and desire warring with nervousness dominating her emotions.

I would use every ounce of my ability to ease it for her, wishing for her only to feel pleasure rather than the discomfort or pain that would accompany the loss of her virginity. Concentrating, I centered every feeling of desire, lust and wanton need that she provoked in me, and projected them back to her. Bella's heart rate quickened, her breathy moans increased in frequency, her pupils dilated to the point that her eyes appeared black rather than their typical chocolate brown. Her rose tipped nipples stood on end, and the wetness coating my fingers increased exponentially while she writhed uncontrollably below me.

"Jazz...w-w-what are you doing to me?" She struggled to get the words past her clenched teeth.

"Don't fight it baby, let go." I urged while I settled myself between the milky white of her thighs. Poised at her entrance I stroked over her slick wetness with the engorged head of my erection, watching, waiting while positioning Bella's slim hips to accept me.

"Ohhh..." A sharp cry erupted from Bella, "Jasper!" She panted heavily, her eyes rolling up before fluttering closed.

A wave of ecstasy hit me, its intensity causing my body to react almost painfully. I could not recall a time when I had ever been as aroused, as hard as I was at that moment. There was nothing I wanted more than to plunge into her depths, yet I held back. Bella's human frailty would be no match for the untamed force at which I could take her, if I didn't keep my wits about me. I could not lose control. The time would one day hopefully come that I could lose myself completely in her glorious body, today was not that day.

Tentatively I eased inside of her, one painfully slow and tender stroke. I gritted my teeth, a feral growl rumbling in my chest. Heat...wet, silky smooth heat. The feel of her body wrapped intimately around mine was like nothing I'd ever experienced, there were no words that could aptly describe it. Feeling her barrier, I paused.

"Bella..." I groaned. "Fucking amazing." Not exactly eloquent, but decidedly fitting.

"More, I want more Jazz. Don't stop, please." Bella gasped out, her eyes locked on mine, her tiny fingers gripping my hips, attempting to pull me closer, deeper.

Taking advantage of the orgasm that still had Bella firmly in its grasp, I pushed forward through her hymen. Joined completely, as on; I caught her mouth with my own, swallowing the slight groan of pain that she had still managed to feel through her pleasure. I ceased breathing, wary of the blood I knew would be present, Bella's blood. Holding completely still, I allowed her body time to adjust as she stretched and formed around me. It also gave me time to regroup, get my errant body under control; otherwise there was no way this would last, that I would last.

Hesitantly I took a breath. The smell of blood was present, yet faint and the venom stayed at bay. Triumphant...I could not resist the triumph I felt that I had so far kept the monster restrained.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, peppering kisses over her face as I braced my arms on either side of her while our bodies stayed intimately joined, yet unmoving. "Did I hurt you?" I warily watched her expression, looking for signs that she was in any pain even though the emotions I could sense from her were filled with anything but.

"I'm okay, I'm better than okay." A smile tugged at her pouty, kiss swollen lips. "You can...ummmm, move...uhh if you want." Her cheeks tinted pink.

With Bella's reassurances I shifted my hips, drawing my length almost completely out, before sliding into the wet heat of her body once again. Bella answered my actions with soft moans and I was lost. Our bodies began to move together in an age old dance, giving and taking. Words were no longer necessary and the only sounds in the room were the moans and whimpers we coaxed from each other. Sweat coated Bella's body as we strained towards completion, the taste salty on my tongue as I flicked my tongue over her skin while continuing to rhythmically thrust tenderly in and out of her warm depths.

"Jazz...I'm so close, can't last." Bella's panted words broke the heavy quiet of the room.

I quickened my pace, and deepened my thrusts. My fingers sought out where we were joined, as I teased her sensitive nub and angled my thrusts so that I could repeatedly brush against the bundle of flesh knowing it would throw her over the precipice she was teetering on.

It was becoming a test of my will not to erupt inside of her. One look at the goddess writhing below me, so responsive to my body, my touch, my love for her, and I was at the edge with her. How long had I yearned for this connection with Bella, never believing it would be possible? Momentarily I was plagued with guilt for not being completely honest with Bella about how long I'd harbored less than brotherly affections for her. She had given me everything, her forgiveness, her trust, her love and now not only her body, but her innocence as well. At the very least I owed her the truth. But first, I would give her pleasure and bring her to heights no other before me had.

"Bella, cum for me baby." I gasped.

The losing battle I was waging with my body overrode any and all self recriminations, or thoughts in general. My entire focus, my whole being was Bella and the feel of her...beneath me, wrapped around me.

Her walls tightened around me like a glove, gloriously contracting and I was lost. I anticipated and prepared myself for the pooling of venom to fill my mouth, and burn my throat, but it never came. Instead I became awash in sensations no words could aptly describe. Beneath me, Bella tensed, her nails attempting to find purchase in my unrelenting skin. Crying each other's names we tumbled over the edge together as I thrust one last time, letting go deep inside her pulsing core.

"God I love you." I groaned, once I was capable of speaking. Wrapping Bella in the quilt from the bed, I turned us on our sides and pulled her into my arms.

"And I you." Bella sighed as she curled into my side, her hand flat over my chest where my no longer beating heart lies.

This, I pondered silently, must be what paradise is like. For this brief moment in time, nothing outside the cocoon surrounding us mattered. The world outside and all of the obstacles we still faced held no weight. Bella had done for me what no being or thing had ever been able to do before...for the first time in over a century I felt at peace.


	25. Sorry for the Delay

**Authors Note**

**First of all I would like to apologize for those that were hoping this was an update...finally. Sorry that is not the case. I would like everyone to know though that I have not abandoned this story. There will be an update, and soon but circumstances have caused there to be this huge delay.**

**My home was broken into while my family and I slept. No one was hurt however my laptop was stolen and along with my laptop the current chapter I was working on as well as all my outlines and story ideas. It's going to be a process to put all that back together.**

**So, please bare with me. I will be updating and I will never abandon this story. Thank you all for your patience.**


	26. Chapter 26

**_Ok now for the long A/N where I get to thank everyone for being so patient. After my laptop was stolen and along with it the entire outline and ideas for this story, I just lost the urge to write. I kept getting stuck everytime I'd sit down to do it. I knew that eventually I would get back to it, it just happened to take more time than I initially planned. I am so grateful for the kind words I received from everyone. I also really really really need to thank my beta, Georgia Dawgette. Through all the months that I sent her well NOTHING she kept gently urging me on, and totally stuck by this story and was completely understanding about my inability to write anything. So...I'm back and hoping to be able to update regularily. I'm still rebuilding the outline but I do know where I want this story to go...for the most part. This is just a short chapter to get me back on the horse so to speak, hope you all enjoy..._**

_Previously_

_"God I love you." I groaned, once I was capable of speaking. Wrapping Bella in the quilt from the bed, I turned us on our sides and pulled her into my arms._

_"And I you." Bella sighed as she curled into my side, her hand flat over my chest where my no longer beating heart lies._

_This, I pondered silently, must be what paradise is like. For this brief moment in time, nothing outside the cocoon surrounding us mattered. The world outside and all of the obstacles we still faced held no weight. Bella had done for me what no being or thing had ever been able to do before...for the first time in over a century I felt at peace._

_

* * *

_JPOV

It was normally at this time of night, when everything was silent, and there were no competing emotions to mask my own, that I would become restless, with too much time to reflect. It was also when my self flagellation was generally at its worst. The text book tortured soul, that was me. Granted, I had more than my fair share to atone for. Much of what I'd done in my existence, hell pretty much all of it if I was being completely honest, could not be rectified. The vast number of innocent lives I'd been responsible for ending, a number which didn't include the countless I'd doomed to a soul less existence serving Maria, were merely only a fraction of my many and varied sins. Where some would consider our vast and vivid memory to be a blessing, I begged to differ. A perfect recollection of every horrific deed I was guilty of could be brought to the forefront of my consciousness with little effort, hence my nightly ritual of allowing the pictures to play through my head, like a looping horror movie, while I let the guilt eat at me had begun.

But not tonight...

In fact for the last few nights the restlessness had been held at bay. The reason for my reprieve was currently sound asleep in my arms. Bella's deep and even breaths, the steady beat of her heart and the peaceful look gracing her beautiful features seemed to keep my waking nightmares at bay. Though, tonight was different from the others that I'd held Bella while she slept. There was a whole new dynamic to our relationship now, as if everything we'd felt before tonight had been intensified somehow, made deeper and stronger. I had worried that because Bella was still human, the bond forged when vampire mates made love for the first time would not be possible for us, well not in its entirety anyway. The moment our bodies joined, I had experienced a sensation that nearly defied description. Even now, hours later, it was difficult to put into words. All I knew for certain was that this girl, this phenomenal woman, had reached and now owned a place in me I never thought existed. If what Carlisle claimed about our souls was true, then mine now belonged to Bella.

The physical responses that this shy human girl could illicit from me were phenomenal. No one before her, not even Alice had been capable of provoking such responses from me, both physical and emotional. I couldn't begin to explain the depth of what I felt for Bella, or how it had only intensified now that she was truly mine. A primitive notion I could admit, but the reality in my world was that Bella now belonged to me. Although it stirred a twinge of guilt within me, a small part of me couldn't help but rejoice at the fact that if her and Edward were to come into contact he would know immediately that I had claimed her as my own. At one time, her heart may have belonged to him in some way; but as of last night, Bella was mine...heart and body. How could I explain to Bella how last night had changed me, had changed us without completely overwhelming her was a whole new issue, and one that for now could wait.

I took note of the time, the red numbers blaring from the clock on the bedside table. 5:00 am. With trepidation, I acknowledged that Bella and I realistically had only a few hours left completely to ourselves. Knowing Alice, she would be here bright and early to whisk Bella away on the promised shopping trip. My hope that the storm that had been looming all last evening would break up to allow for the sun to shine and effectively quash any planned outings with Alice, was dashed as the rain continued to beat against the roof, the clouds still thick and dark. For this reason, I couldn't manage to strum up even an ounce of remorse when I used my gift to manipulate Bella awake, making it seem as though her body had decided to awaken naturally.

Bella stretched and yawned sleepily, as her eyes slowly fluttered open. Her hair was a tangled mess, the curly length flowing over her bare shoulders, her lips kiss swollen, and a slight pink flush staining her cheeks as she pulled the blanket up from where it had slipped, revealing the tops of her breasts to my gaze. I don't think she'd ever looked more beautiful.

"Morning darlin'." I drawled as I leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Are you sure it's morning?" Bella's face wrinkled in adorable sleepy confusion. "It's still dark Jazz."

Raising my hand, I rubbed the back of my neck while giving Bella what I was sure was a sheepish look "Yeah, well...we only have a few hours until Alice makes good on her promise to whisk you away."

"I knew there was no way I woke up on my own at this ungodly hour." Bella's tone was teasing, and the smile gracing her generous mouth assured me she was anything but upset upon realizing I was responsible for waking her. "Are you sure you didn't just get bored watching me sleep?"

"Darlin' watching you sleep is anything but boring." I murmured before brushing my lips against the soft curve of her jaw.

Bella shook her head and pulled a pillow over her reddening face. "Do I even want to know?" Bella mumbled into the pillow.

Plucking the pillow out of Bella's grasp, I chuckled at the vision of her eyes closed tightly, a dark red staining her delicate features. Stretching out beside her, I tucked her hair behind her ear before leaning down to pepper kisses along her bare shoulder, up the slope of her neck, across her jaw to her mouth that was set in an adorable pout.

"Bella..." I began between kisses "Baby, open your eyes."

Bella's only response was a nearly imperceptible shake of her head.

"I've seen, and touched nearly every inch of your body, Bella. Yet you're going to let a few words and sounds embarrass you?" I asked, attempting to use reason to draw her out of the intense mortification she was feeling, without having to resort to manipulating her emotions.

"Sounds?" Bella's eyes shot open. "There were sounds too? Oh just kill me now." She groaned, attempting to pull yet another pillow over her face.

Grasping both of Bella's tiny wrists in my hand, I still her almost frantic lunge for something to hide behind. "Those sounds were some of the sexiest things I ever heard, the only exception being when you screamed my name last night." I nearly growled out the admission.

Bella's movements stilled, and her gaze settled on me. "Really?" There was still uncertainty in her voice.

"So innocent." I whispered, while the hand that was not holding her wrists together slid under the blankets covering her beautifully bare body to pull her flush with my own still nude form. "You have no idea what you do to me Bella."

Burying her face in my chest I didn't miss the mumbled "Ditto."

"Oh but darlin' that's where you are mistaken." I tilted her face up so that I could see the reaction my words were about to provoke. "I am quite aware of absolutely everything I make you feel." And there it was, the faint rose hue I knew my words would trigger, tinting her creamy complexion.

"Jasper that is so unfair!" Bella's whined adorably. "You're using your mood reading mojo for evil."

Brushing the curtain of her hair out of my way I nuzzled my lips against her ear. "I wouldn't really consider it evil, and besides my mood reading mojo as you so eloquently described is only one of a full arsenal of weapons I possess."

"Oh?" The words were sighed breathlessly from between Bella's lips as she tilted her head, giving me access to the luscious slope of her throat which I took full of advantage of. Alternating between feathery kisses and soft swipes of my tongue against her skin, I could tell the precise moment that I'd once again broken through Bella's barrier of shyness and endearing modesty, to ignite the spark that had erupted into a flame last night.

* * *

**BPOV**

It would never cease to amaze me how Jasper could sway my emotions from complete and utter mortification, to nearly breathless passion with only a few words, and tender touches.

The embarrassment I'd felt only moments earlier, all but dissipated with the feel of his cool lips against my skin. My body responded to him at once. Goosebumps covered my skin, shivers ran up my spine, and I could almost feel the blood pumping through my veins as my heart rate accelerated. I had no control over these responses, as if I was a puppet and Jasper controlled my strings in the best possible way. Rather than allowing the lack of control to freak me out as I was so prone to do, I gave in, and allowed the sensations he was creating to take me away to that place where only Jasper and I existed. The place where all my insecurities disappeared, where there was no Edward, no obstacles…..holy hell obstacles…..Charlie…Jacob. How had I not even considered how they would react to the sudden and unexpected changes that had taken place in my life in the past few days.

Panic, pure and simple panic gripped me. Jasper may no longer technically be living with the Cullen's but to Charlie he would still be a Cullen, Edward's brother and there was no way that fact would invoke warm and fuzzy feelings in my dad. However, Charlie I could handle for the most part, but Jacob would be another matter entirely.

"Darlin', what is it? What's wrong?" I had barely noticed that Jasper had stopped his ministrations and was now looking down at me, concern etched on his face. "Did I hurt you?|

By this point I was nearly hyperventilating, so I was all but certain that the wheezed "No, no…It's nothing." I managed to answer not very convincingly. Not to mention the fact that I was attempting to convince an empath that I was not in the throes of a near panic attack.

Clambering over Jasper's body to escape to the side of the bed, I dangled my legs over the edge and hunching my shoulders I hung my head towards my knees, taking deep, hopefully calming breaths. I kept my face turned away from where I'd felt Jasper silently sit beside me, and for the first time since I was a child I truly wished that I still believed the whole 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' myth.

"Well Baby, I call bullshit; and regardless of whether you look at me or not, I can in fact still see you." His tone was laced with a dose of sarcasm, and a touch of irritation.

"Charlie…Jake." I was quite aware my broken answer probably made no sense to him. How was I going to tell him that I was flipping my lid over the prospect of outing our relationship to my father and my best friend? This should have been happy news, and for me it was. As for Charlie and Jacob, there was absolutely no way they would receive this news positively.

"If I didn't have such a healthy ego, I'd be worried that you were thinking about your dad, and another man while I was attempting to make love to you." The humor in Jasper's drawl was evident.

Shaking my head, I made a sound between a sob and a laugh, but sounding more like a snort.

"Thank you." I sighed, as I leaned my head against the cool strength of his shoulder.

"Ready to talk now darlin'?" Jasper's gaze was less intense, and more inquisitive now.

"I was thinking…thinking about how it felt like we were in our own little world last night and this morning. A place where nothing can touch us. Where there is no Edward, or family reactions to worry about. Then it dawned on me, about how Charlie and Jacob are going to react when I tell them." I drew my lower lip between my teeth while raising my eyes to gauge Jasper's reaction to my words.

Silence….

"It's not going to be pretty Jazz." I added

Silence….

"With Jake it's kind of ingrained for him to hate you." I cringed at how my words sounded, as though I was defending what I generally considered to be a ridiculous feud.

Silence….

"And well Charlie, he's isn't exactly going to be jumping for joy seeing as how you are Edward's brother…" My words trailed off as they were met with more silence. "Will you please say something?" I was on the verge of another panic attack, but this time for an entirely different reason.

"Bella, these are things I've already considered." Jasper's words didn't surprise me, although his silence as I'd relayed my thoughts to him still had me perplexed.

"Then why the whole…the whole…..muteness?" I couldn't leave the question unasked.

"Muteness Bella?" Jasper quirked his brow and twisted his lips into a slight grin.

"Really Jasper? You want to give me a grammar lesson now?" I huffed. "So…..?" My voice trailed off.

Jasper turned to face me, reaching out to tuck a few wayward curls behind my ear, his cool fingertips brushing across my jaw and down the slope of my neck. A shiver ran through me that had nothing to do with the frosty temperature of his touch.

"Darlin', I will tell you if you want." Jasper dipped his head, to replace his fingertips with the silky touch of his lips. "But wouldn't you prefer we make better use of our limited time together this morning?"

"Mmm hmmm." Was all I was able to breathlessly mumble while tipping my head to the side to ease his access to my neck where his icy lips were. While I knew we needed to talk about Jasper's lack of a reaction to my explanation, the responses his lips and fingers were drawing from my body could not be ignored. Later…talking would definitely have to wait until later.


End file.
